r/AkoBaYungGago

I 29f working just want to ask if ABYG kagabi lang to nangyari my dad and mom is seperated na for a long time my dad is living alone since iniwan na din siya nung partner niya after my mom. 2 days ago tumawag siya na mild stroke my younger sister yung sumama sakanya to do all the test and check up sa hospital. My younger sister is 24 without work and I am working so hindi ako basta basta makapag leave since wala na ko leave credit sumama lang loob ko kasi sinabihan ako ng mama ko na bakit daw di ako yung sumama sa dad ko sinabi ko na may work ako hindi niya maintindihan yun kesyo tatay ko pa din daw yun and everything sabi ko sakanya pag ba ako nawalan ng work sasaluhin niya ko since i was highschool ako na nag proprovide for myself kesyo para kanino daw ba ko nagtratrabaho para lang naman daw sa sarili ko at tubig at kuryente lang naman daw ang binabayaran ko sumama lang loob ko kasi yun lang naman talaga bills namin sa bahay since hindi kami nag rerent sa food hindi din naman gumagastos kasi di din naman siya nag luluto so kumakain ako bago umuwi from work. Nakakapagod lang na di niya ko maintindihan makakarinig ka pa ng ganyan not to take score pero eversince nagka work ako hindi ako nawawalan ng bigay sa bahay. Parang hindi ako pwede magkaroon ng sariling buhay pati yung pag tratravel ko once in a year every birthday ko nakwekwestyon nya pa. Thats my way of celebrating my life eh pati once in a year lang yun.

ABYG kung di ko nasamahan father ko

Context

I’m a 29F, a single parent of two girls (12F and 6-month-old). I’m also the eldest among my siblings.

My younger sister (25F) wants to go back to school because she believes her lack of a degree is the reason she can’t get hired for higher positions.

I’ve repeatedly told her that there’s nothing wrong with starting from the bottom and working her way up. Both me and our brother (26M) did exactly that. I started as call center agents, eventually became TLs, and later transitioned into VA work. I'm not high-income earners, but we make enough to support our children and contribute to the household. While my brother is still working in housekeeping at a hotel in Pasay.

My sister, however, didn’t want to hear any of that. My mom also tends to side with her and defend her decisions.

Recently, I caught my sister taking money from my bag. When I confronted her about it, she somehow turned the situation around and acted like she was the victim.

The School Situation

My sister really wants to study. Initially, she wanted to enroll in a public college, but she had an outstanding ₱12,000 balance from her previous school. Since she couldn’t pay it, she enrolled again in that school instead.

Now, the problem is her tuition.

She says she’ll become a working student, but so far, she still hasn’t found a job. She keeps saying she’s “waiting” for an opportunity, but she isn’t actively applying either.

I even tried to help her financially without simply handing her money. I offered to outsource some of my own work to her so she could earn while studying. I was willing to train her and teach her the work, but when it was time for me to actually train her, she refused.

She currently has no money even for her daily allowance and essentially has zero balance, yet she still expects things to somehow work out. She even asking me to buy her make up and dresses.

Why I’m Completely Refusing to Support Her

At this point, I’m completely refusing to financially support my sister.

This isn’t simply because I don’t want her to study. I actually understand why she wants a degree. My issue is that I’ve already tried to help her find a way to support herself, and she refused the opportunity.

On top of that, she stole money from me. That alone seriously damaged my trust in her. I’m a single parent with two children, and I’m not comfortable financially supporting someone who has already taken money from me without permission.

Another thing that frustrates me is that she seems to prioritize clinging on her boyfriend whenever she has the opportunity rather than actively working toward becoming financially independent. I’m not saying she can’t cling on her boyfriend or that there’s anything inherently wrong with their relationship. What bothers me is the pattern of depending on other people while simultaneously expecting me and our mom to somehow solve her financial problems.

My mom is 59 and unemployed. I also have two children and my own household to take care of. I cannot—and honestly, do not want to—take responsibility for my adult sister's tuition and living expenses.

If she genuinely wants to study, she needs to find a way to make it happen herself—whether that means working, starting somewhere else, finding a cheaper school, taking a break to save money, or figuring out another legitimate option.

I’m not going to pay her tuition, give her allowance, or continuously bail her out.

I don’t think refusing to financially support an adult sibling makes me a bad person, especially after I’ve already tried to give her an opportunity to earn and she refused it.

So, ABYG for completely refusing to financially support my sister?

I'm 25F and let's call the mangungutang as Aly (21 MtF).

For background, nakasama ko si Aly last 2021 sa mixed ages Volleyball Training Camp ng village namin. Hindi ko naman siya gaanong ka close but we have our shares of interest naman. Tatlo silang mag kakaibigan nung mga unang days ng training camp, siya, si Bhie (20M), and Chie (19MtF) (code names lang din), pero habang tumatagal, napapansin namin na si Bhie and Chie nalang palagi magkasama at hindi na sumasama sa kanila si Aly.

Then nung last July 10, bigla siyang nag chat saakin. Obviously something is fishy na kasi never naman siyang nag chat saakin after 5 years. Na predict ko na din na mangugutang siya at uulit pa, although maliit lang naman kaya binigyan ko, nag palusot nalang ako na yun kang kaya ko.

After niya mangutang, agad kong chinat yung volleyball BFF ko si Daisy (code name), asking if naaalala niya pa si Aly. Then dun na sinabi ni Daisy saakin na oo naaalala niya si Aly kasi nangutang daw ng 500 sa mama niya (mama ni Daisy) at di pa daw binabayaran, reason ni Aly is namatay daw kapatid niya. Kaya sinabi ko nangutang din saakin pero ang reason ay nagugutom daw kapatid niya.

Inistalk namin myday si Aly and nakita namin na gumala pala with friends sa bgc at naka pang awra pa.

Coincidentally naman, naging kaklase ng kapatid ko sila Bhie at Chie sa college. Medyo naging close ko na din sila kasi magkakilala na kami dati at laging pumunta sa bahay namin. Nung one time pumunta sila sa bahay, natanong ako if may balita ba sila kay Aly. Sagot agad saakin ni Bhie "Ay bakit ate? May chika din kami dun". Confirmed. Dati pa pala nnagugutang so Aly sa kanila tapos ayaw bayaran. Yun din daw yung rason kung bakit sila humiwalay diyan. Tapos nagka issue pa daw yang si Aly dahil sumali sa Trans Pageant at hindi daw binayaran yung make up artist at gown na nirent. May pinakita sila saakin na ss nung make up artist na minention si Aly kung may balak pa mag bayad. (Pero di ko na makita yung post nung make up artist nung sinearch ko).

Natatawa nalang daw si Bhie kasi madalas niya daw nakikita (malapit lang house nila sa isat isa) si Aly na umaalis at naka porma pero nangungutang.

Tapos from July to August, lagi siyang nag spam na saakin ng chats at calls. Hindi ko lang talaga siya ma block kaagad or masagot or ma seen kasi busy ako sa work lately. Nakakairita lang kasi sunod sunod yung calls niya to the point na naiistorbo yung pc and cp ko during meetings.

Nung kinonfornt ko na siya na palagi siyang nag chahat para mangutang, pero makiita ko sa myday niya na lagi siyang nasa galaan at inuman. Palusot niya ay archive photos lang daw yun, may isang chat pa siya na may "edited" na mark. Una niyang tinype talaga dun ay "inamo" then edited it as an apology.

Nag init talaga ulo ko kasi di ko na minention or sinabi sa kanya kasi baka sabihin niya wala naman siyang sinasabing ganun.

Ayoko na ding patulan kasi mas bata saakin at medyo burned out na ako sa work.

Ako ba yung gago? Or may dapat or hindi dapat ako sinabi sa kanya kasi baka naman nangangailangan talaga sila?

EDIT: Other members of the family use the car pag coding yung isang car nila which is totally fine w me kasi hindi ko naman siya kailangan most of the time. ALSO pls translate to original (tagalog) Idk why tinatranslate nya to english lahat pati replies ko

My BF and I bought a car. I paid 30% (to be exact 28%) and he paid the rest. The car was also bought from their kapamilya so we got it at a really steal price pa din. For context, I also stay at their house during the weekends always so malaki din ang utang na loob ko sakanila as they never asked me for payment ng food or any at all. They’re a very generous family and im lucky to be treated as one too.

They have a house so sakanila talaga naka park + I treated it as something na sakanila naman talaga. In my mind, i’ll only use it when I really need it especially since hindi naman ako marunong mag drive. Fast forward, ginamit ko siya once going to work kasi na excite din naman ako makapag drive finally.

Now, since bagyo season, gusto ko sana siya gamitin kasi ang HIRAP mag commute. Danas talaga sa lakas ng ulan. Sumasabay ako sa boss ko most of the time so di ko kailangan pero naka out of town siya this week so nilatag ko kay BF yung schedule. This Wed, Thurs pasok ako work malakas ulan gusto ko sana gamitin yung car. Sabi niya “hindi pa na ayos yung ibang cars (nasa casa kasi nabangga)” Ibig sabihin kulang car nila family (Lahat sila meron tig isa and my bf has his own + our shared car)

Today sinabi ko sakanya na i buy out nya nalang yung share ko tutal hindi ko naman nagagamit. Pag nabangga pa, liable pa ako sa damages.

ABYG na pinapa buy out ko nalang sakanya? or na inaway ko siya dahil di ko magamit yung kotse?

Nakatanggap ng magandang job offer 'yung best friend ko (F25) at balak niyang lumipat malapit doon. Sa Mandaluyong siya ngayon nakatira at sa condo sa Parañaque naman siya lilipat by the end of August. Medyo may kalayuan sa akin kasi sa Pasig ako nakatira.

Ilang linggo na ring nagpapasama 'yung kaibigan ko sa akin mag-condo visit ng Sabado (Sunday ang rest day niya) pero hindi ko siya mabigyan ng solid na oo. Aminado naman ako sa kanya na masyado akong down nitong mga nakaraang araw para lumabas at makipag-interact.

Ako kasi 'yung may sasakyan sa aming dalawa. Bukod pa rito, graveyard shift ako na nagtatrabaho araw-araw (wfh naman). Kung ipagmamaneho ko siya, hindi talaga ako matutulog sa araw na 'yun at papasok na antok.

(Bukod pa rito, kailangan ko pa siyang sunduin sa subdivision niya bago pumunta ng Parañaque. Hindi ko rin ugaling maningil ng gas/toll fee pero siya naman 'yung nagbabayad ng parking kapag lumalabas kami.)

Last week, umoo na akong sasamahan siya ng Sabado. Nag-iba nga lang 'yung ihip ng hangin kasi biniro ko siyang kunin 'yung sasakyan nila sa province (Walang masyadong gumagamit) para siya naman ang mag-drive rito sa Manila & ako ang maging passenger princess. Ayaw niya kasing magmaneho rito dahil magulo raw...

Na-bring up ko lang din 'yun dahil kausap ko rin 'yung isang friend namin tungkol sa kotse. Hindi ko talaga intention magpasaring pero nasabi ko rin na ang layo talaga ng Parañaque (Ang context dito ay paano kung gagala kami after niyang lumipat at saan kami magkikita, sinusundo ko kasi siya now).

Pagkatapos 'nun, sabi niya sa akin, sasamahan na lang daw siya ng pinsan niya mag-check ng mga condo.

Ngayon, ilang araw na niya akong hindi nirereplyan sa Messenger.

Tingin ko hindi naman niya dapat ako i-ignore sa Messenger dahil lang doon. Hindi rin naman ako nangako (o naging enthusiastic) na sasamahan ko siya magtingin ng lilipatan. Pero... ako ba 'yung gago rito?

Hindi ko alam kung masama ba akong tao dahil gusto ko lang naman unahin muna ngayon ang sarili kong pangarap.

Recently, naghiwalay ang kapatid ko at ang asawa niya. Yung bata, napunta sa kapatid ko, and I understand na bilang single dad, kailangan niyang magtrabaho para sa anak niya. Wala naman akong problema roon.

Ang problema, unti-unting napunta sa akin ang responsibilidad na dapat sana ay sa kanya.

Hatid-sundo sa school, pag-aasikaso, paggawa ng school activities, pag-aalaga. Lalo na ngayon na panahon ng bagyo at walang pasok, halos sunod-sunod ang kailangang ipagawa sa kinder. lalo na ang pag tuturo magbasa kung saan nauubos ang oras ko dahil inaabot ng ilang oras

Fresh graduate ako. Next month, magte-take ako ng board exam. May pangarap akong gustong i-pursue. Gusto kong ibigay yung best ko. Gusto kong mag-focus at kung papalarin, mag-top dahil yon naman talaga ang goal ko, hindi naman masama mangarap diba?

Pero paano ko gagawin 'yon kung habang pinipilit kong buuin ang sarili kong future, kailangan ko ring buhatin ang responsibilidad na hindi naman dapat sa akin?

Hindi naman ako tumatanggi tumulong. Hindi naman ibig sabihin na wala akong pakialam sa pamangkin ko. Mahal ko siya pero pakiramdam ko nauubusan ako ng oras para sa sarili ko. kung dati, nakakapag review ako mag hapon, ngayon hindi na kasi kelangan ko turuan sya at kelangan bantayan. Yung ama nya? papasok, pag uwi matutulog and vice versa. kapag rest day, mag iinom pa tapos sa amin iiwan ang bata, uuwi lasing na lasing.

Ang hirap lang tanggapin na kapag ako ang may pangarap, parang kailangan ko munang isipin ang lahat bago ang sarili ko. Samantalang nung sila ang may pangarap na gustong abutin, hindi naman nila kailangang isantabi ang sarili nilang future para sa ibang tao.

ABYG kung nagagalit ako sa kapatid ko at sa asawa nyang wala na kaming balita? pano ba nakakaya ng isang ina na iwan ang anak na pinalaki at inalaagaan mo ng ilang taon?

Okay, I know I’m already the gago here because yes, kabit ako. I knowingly got involved with a guy who had a girlfriend. I’m not denying that.

So basically, I’ve been seeing this guy for around 3 months. He has a girlfriend, and yes, we had sex multiple times while they were together. From what he told me, his girlfriend has been consistently cold to him for like 6 months already, so I guess their relationship was already bad even before I came into the picture.

Recently, I told him to break up with her. And yes, I fucked up even more because I blackmailed him. I told him that if he didn’t break up with her, I would send the video of us having sex to his girlfriend. He eventually broke up with her, but after that, he got extremely angry at me.

Now he keeps telling me na mahal niya daw ako, pero mas mahal niya yung girlfriend niya. They’re already broken up, but he still hopes na magkakabalikan sila. And he basically told me na he can’t choose me.

Obviously, that fucking hurts. Like, what was all of this for?

And now I’m having these very demonic thoughts na gusto ko i-message yung ex niya and tell her everything. Like, “Girl, your boyfriend cheated on you with me. We had sex multiple times while you were together.”

Part of me feels like she deserves to know, especially if they’re eventually going to get back together. I feel like she should know what actually happened before deciding whether she wants him back.

BUT… I know myself. I’m not doing this purely because I care about her or because I suddenly developed a moral compass. I’m hurt. I’m angry. And a part of me definitely wants him to suffer consequences for choosing her after everything that happened between us.

Also, I know I’m partly doing this because I’m fcking bitter that despite everything, he still wants her and not me.

So ABYG if I tell his ex-girlfriend that he cheated on her with me?

I already know I’m a gago for being the other woman. I’m not asking if I’m innocent because obviously I’m not. I just want to know if telling her the truth now would make me an even bigger gago, especially since my intentions are definitely not 100% pure.

ABYG nun nakita ko may tg siya kaya tanong ako ng tanong at hingi ng hingi ng proof? Nakatambay kami sa bahay tas nakitingin ako sa phone niya tapos alam niyo yun app folder na may second page? So nadulas daliri niya at nakita ko may tg siya. So nagtanong ako bakit meron tas sabi niya business daw. At first hesitant pa siya ipakita sa akin tas nagagalit bat daw ako tanong ng tanong. May mali ba sa ginawa ko? Ngayon nakikipagbreak na siya dahil natrigger daw sa akin 🤣

I work as a CSR for a franchise in the US. I worked for this company originally under an agency for a year then they bought me out. It’s been about 3-4 months pa since my employment was transferred to them.

I have this college friend that I rarely meet na. We’re close, still, kasi college barkada kami. The last time we met was February this year and she rarely replies to invites na whenever our mutual friends visit for a catch-up. She recently got a new boyfriend, but I don’t want to think that she’s ignoring us because of him.

As a friend ayos naman sya. But when we were in college I observed na she wasn’t very good sa acads. She is a CSR now working for a local BPO company, but I’ve never observed her as a CSR kasi we never worked together.

One time she replied to my story of a picture of my WFH setup. “Refer baka naman” sabi nya. Now, I like to help friends when I can the way I can. Pero I really don’t feel comfortable making referrals especially now that I am employed directly sa client. I don’t feel comfortable introducing a friend with whom I already have a certain dynamic to my work circle whom I have a different dynamic with. Gets niyo ba? Parang it’s awkward or uncomfy that I have this close friend and suddenly we’re dealing with each other in a completely different climate.

Also, I feel that whoever I refer’s performance in the company will reflect to me and my integrity and values. I have to protect my employment, too.

Hindi sa sinasabi kong alam ko na agad na hindi magiging maganda ang performance nya. But I witnessed her as a college student, and she’s been in the BPO industry for 4 years now, and still stuck parin sya sa campaign that pays only 23k basic + incentives. Alam ko na she has been trying to apply to companies with higher pay but she keeps getting rejected after interviews. Before her current job, nag-AWOL sya from her previous company.

So reply ko, hindi pa naghahanap ng additional employee ang boss ko.

Yesterday she messaged me again asking me to ask my boss directly if we’re hiring and to tell my boss about her. Kasi baka raw magkaroon ng interest ang boss ko to hire another CSR. I can easily do that. But I wouldn’t.

Nireply ko sa kanya na hindi ako magre-refer ng friends o ng kahit sino. I told her I am willing to help her find a client, or look for job postings online. I even added na willing ako magpahiram ng pera if she needs it para makabili ng pang-WFH setup nya (she doesn’t have a PC or laptop or any gamit pang WFH cause she works on-site).

When she asked me why, I told her the truth that I am worried na babalik sa akin kung ano man ang performance ng irerefer ko. Sabi ko worried ako of potentially losing my employment if ever ‘yong ire-refer ko ay pangit ang performance or hindi magiging maganda ang experience ng boss ko sa kanya.

Sabi nya, “Wow okay”. Then sinundan nya ng “Sorry if hindi ako kasing talino mo ha”. And now we’ve stopped talking.

Gago ba ako for doing that? It’s my only job and since walang job security kasi foreign client and independent contractor ako per our agreement, I could lose my job anytime for any reason. And I know if I refer her and she gets accepted somehow our dynamics will change. I also don’t think I have the emotional capacity to separate our dynamics as friends vs as workmates if ever man.

Please be kind. I feel na I just lost a friend. I welcome any advice kung meron man.

Edit to add: I feel na gago ako kasi I should have just declined and made up some excuse. But at the same time I really wanted her to know the truth kasi ayokong mag-no na naman sa kanya the next time she asks me again.

My partner (26M) and I (24F) have been together for more than a year.

Recently, I just discovered na he has 600k+ debt from different loaning/lending platforms and cc. These were accumulated unnecessary and emergency expenses he had to take sa mga nakaraang taon.

Nag iyakan na kami at nagsagutan na after ko malaman to. He is a registered nurse and wants to take the NCLEX (USRN License). He promised na aayusin niya to asap but he needs to take the NCLEX (which costs A LOT) first para mapabilis daw yung pagkuha niya ng higher paying job.

The problem is, he joins races, hikes and such every month which can cost thousands. I repeatedly told him that he needs to set his priorities straight. Every month, i would hear him say na ubos na budget niya and can barely afford to eat na. But ang katwiran niya, stress reliever daw niya and yun na nga lang daw binibigay niya sa sarili niya sana daw pagbigyan ko na siya doon.

Last night, he joined another race that's worth 2k. pinag awayan nanaman namin. super nanghihinayang ako kasi pwede sanang pangkain or pang savings for exam na lang yang 2k na yan but he kept insisting that he needs it for his mental health.

He really is a great partner naman, but his debt accumulated bc of bad decisions. We are from different backgrounds, i would say i grew up comfortably, pero siya hindi -- which is why he splurged daw the moment he got a job.

I am very concerned about our future since we've been talking about marriage na but i told him na i dont want a future with debt nor anything lesser than the lifestyle i grew up with.

so

ABYG kung gusto ko itigil ng partner ko yung pag join niya ng races at ilaan na lang niya yung pera niya for his exam and debts?

Thank you 🥹

My MIL commented on how cruel it is not to let the help join us for dinner, at the dinner table.

I grew up with help and they never sat with us. They had their own dining table in the kitchen, and ate there together.

My husband and I live together with 2 maids. We don’t have children. We have 3 dogs. They’re well compensated, sleep in airconditioned rooms, and eat what we eat.

However, Ive always viewed dinner as an intimate moment where my husband and I can debrief at the end of each day because we both have very busy schedules. For this reason, like how I am used to growing up, I set up another backdoor dining table for the maids, and they eat there.

They serve our food, and they can eat anytime before or after service in their assigned dining table. My MIL is visiting and is used to the typical probinsya set up where maids are like families.

Whereas I come from an approach that they’re employees. This doesn’t mean inaalipusta ko sila, I just don’t and won’t view them as family. They get treated with respect, and have all the privileges of a paid employee.

She has brought it up 3 times now how this isn’t right. How opposite it is from how she does it.
I simply told her it’s not her house, she can have her maids at her dining table, but not at mine. Our dinner conversations (my husband and i) will remain private and among us only.

This response was viewed outright disrespectful. How dare I daw talk back to elders. There seems to be a huge family culture disconnect, because I grew up in a household that allowed me to have a voice, and that listened to my input. Whereas her family, demands authority through age, and you can’t question what the elders say. Just do how they do it. Which is absurd to me.

So,

1. ABYG for not letting the help dine with me and my husband at the dinner table?
2. ABYG for answering my MIL directly when she commented about how I run things in my house.

UNAHAN NA KITA, MAHABA HABA TO. At malamang maraming typo erro or wrong grammar kasi kakatapos lang netong mangyari. As now lang to, mainit-init pa.

Umpisahan natin sa context na malaki ang family tree namin - 7 na magkakapatid sina mama, 13 naman sa side ni papa. 2 lang kaming magkapatid. Yung kapatid k dito nakatira sa bahay namin ng husband ko, kasama namin si papa (stroke survivor)

So eto na nga. Matagal ng gusto ni papa na magpunta sa resort kasi gusto nyang makita ulet ang dagat (as an island boy). Nag-agree naman kami ng kapatid ko bilang 59th bday na nya and 11th yr na after maka-survive from a massive stroke. Support din naman si husband sa idea.

Yung uncle and aunties and mga pinsan ko na galing probinsya eh lumipad pa dito sa luzon para maki-celebrate sa kanya. Dito sila nag-stay sa bahay a day before ng event. Which is okay na okay sakin kasi may kasama si papa pero 8 sila kaya siksikan na sila sa sala kung saan sila tutulog. Maliit lang tong row house namin pero okay lng kasi masaya naman si papa na makita kapatid nya at mga pamangkin.

On the day of the event, nag-simula na yung stress ko. Una, late yung van na sasakyan ng mga bisita. Ang agreed time ay 1pm pero 4:30pm na dumating. Yung resort ay 2.5 to 3 hours ang layo mula sa bahay namin (which is yung pick up point). Ang reservation sa resort ay 3pm to 1pm the next day. Buti na lang pumayag yung caretaker na i-move yung check in time. So okay, dedma sa stress.

Pangalawa, yung dami ng bisita ay di nasunod. Ang reservation is for 30 pax. Ang rsvp ay 27 pax, kaya may buffer pa yung pinareserve ko. Ang ending, 39 pax ang dumating, with one pinsan na dala ata buong barkada. Di ko na nga kilala yung iba dun. Ang nilista ng pinsan ko na to sa family nila ee 3 lang. Ang dala nya? 12! Pero sige, pagpasensyahan kasi birthday nga ni papa.

Pangatlo, after ng swimming, nauna kami (ako, hubby, my kapatid and his jowa) makauwi kasi nakabukod kaming sasakyan. Nagulat na lang ako nung maya maya e yung mga nasa van at mga nag-motor na kasama namin sa swimming eh dito sa bahay dumerecho imbes na sa kani-kanilang bahay. So ako, bilang may-ari ng bahay, nagtaka bakit sila nandito? Yun pala, nag-stop over sila sa palengke at namili ng maluluto DITO SA BAHAY ng wala kaming kaalam-alam. And past 8 na to. Magluluto pa sila ng bulalo!! All 32 of us cramped in a small row house (think of typical row house na may maliit na garahe na walang bubong at naulan pa). Imagine the chaos! May maoy na, may nakahiga na sa lapag kasi naghalo na yung lasing at hilo sa byahe, may naiyak na baby, may maligalig na bata, may pagod na mga matatanda. On top of that, umalis pa yung kapatid ko para ihatid ang jowa nya and dun na natulog sa bahay ng jowa nya. Husband ko naman eh umalis din dahil may prior committment (pinayagan ko na kasi naka-ilang postponed na tong ganap nyang ito). Ang nasa isip ko na lang ay i-raos na lang to at matulog na (pero 12:30am na ngayon habang tinatype ko to at gising na gising pa mo dahil sa inis at frsutration at badtrip at pagod at dehydration at sun burnt na balat at lahat na)

After 3 hours ng byahe, ee nandito pa sila, for what? Hihigop ng sabaw kasi lasing? Kasi kakaen daw? Bakit di na sila umuwi sa kani-kanilang bahay, kumaen at magpahinga???

Sobrang overwhelmed na ko, bilang patong patong na yung badtrip ko, nag-stay ako sa kwarto ni papa most of the time. Lumalabas lang ako pag kelangan pero hinayaan ko na sila sa kusina. Pagod na ko mag-isip. Idea nila yan, sila mag execute.

Di ba na-chika ko na past 8 sila dumating dito. Yung iba nag umpisa ng kumaen, inulam na lang yung natirang ulam galing swimming.

At nag-inuman pa kasi may sobra pa daw na alak. Nagpaalam man lang ba samin? HINDI!

Nung around 9pm na, nakaalis na yung ibng nakakaen na pero may isang pamilya na nag stay talaga for the bulalo 😭 and yes, sila yung family na may 12pax.

Sa haba ng chika ko sa taas, eto na yung feeling ko naging gago ako. Yung mga naiinuman, inutusan yung pinsan ko na bumili sa tindahan. Tinanong ko, anong papabili nyo? Sabi nila yelo at softdrinks daw. Sabi ko, okay sige. Wag na kayo magdagdag ng alak kasi late na. Maaga pa pasok bukas at flight pa nina auntie, uncle and pinsan bukas ng hapon.

Sounds reasonable naman di ba? Pero before that, passive-agressive na ko. Hindi kasi ko confrontational kaya hindi ko alam kung pano to i-handle. Pakiramdam ko yung tono ko nung sinabihan ko sila ee off, baka nahalat na badtrip ako?

So ayun ako ba yung gago para iparamdam sa kanilang umalis na sila?

Ang ending nga pala, di pa din sila umalis nung nagsabi ako na maaga pa pasok bukas. 11pm na sila umalis. Yung mga bisita ko galing probinsya ee antok na pero di makatulog kasi nakatambay pa sila sa sala.

So, ako ba yung gago?

I am M(40) healthy and WFH. My dad M(75) is retired and a chronic smoker. Lately mga around May 2026, sinamahan ko magpacheckup dad ko kasi apparently may mga nararamdaman na sya like pagkahilo at panghihina. He was diagnosed na mataas cholesterol and he was given a lot of meds to control his cholesterol and he was also advised by the doctor to quit smoking for good. Tumigil sya but after a week, nahuli ko sya nagyoyosi uli and he denied it kahit nahuli ko ung cig butt tinapon nya sa basurahan. Umamin din, sabi nya tinry lang daw lang naman daw nya uli. Sabi ko, bahala kana kako di naman kita mamomonitor kada minuto kung nagyoyosi ka parin o hindi, nakasalalay na yung buhay mo sa mga kamay mo. So hinayaan ko na sya basically.

This August last week lang, we had to come back to the doc para mag-update. Fortunately, bumaba na yung cholesterol nya due to the meds and diet tapos sinumbong ko sa doc na nagyoyosi sya uli. Sabi ni doc talagang need nya itigil as in zero kasi mababalewala lang ung mga gamot nya. Nangangatwiran pa kasi dad ko na onti lang naman na daw sya magyosi. So kalmado pako this time.

Not until after a week, so kahapon lang. Nagyosi nanaman sya. Ang malala, yung mom ko is allergic to his smell kaya natrigger ung asthma ni mom. Dito na ako sumabog at habang kinocomfort ko mom ko, pagpasok ng dad ko sa room, talagang namura ko sya at tinulak: "Bat ba nagyosi ka nanaman?! Sinabi na nga ng doctor na wag kana magyoyosi!" Sapak na sapak na ako nito pero alam nyo yun, tinulak ko na lang sa dibdib dahil nakontrol ko pa. Pero talagang nagalit na ako.

His reaction was tinulak din nya ako at sabi "Parang di mo na ako tatay ah! Di mo na ako nirerespeto!" Sabi ko naman "Bat kita irerespeto eh wala ka ngang disiplina sa sarili mo at tsaka di mo kami pinapakinggan!". Then he said "Eh di sorry na lang!" in a condescending tone. He walked out and my mom was just crying. Bad trip kasi parang yung tatay ko pa ung pavictim.

ABYG dahil pinisikal ko ung tatay ko for the first time? Talagang di ko na nacontain emotions ko, and I am known here to be the most calm in these situations. My dad is also a chronic liar na kahit small things he will lie about. My hatred for him is growing.

Thank you for reading. I will appreciate any friendly thoughts.

EDITED: By the way, even at 75 my dad is still strong as a horse and nagbubuhat pa ng mabibigat. Nawala na yung pagkahilo at panghihina nya and hindi sya yung old man na talaga na uugod ugod. Just added this for additional context for some of you who may think na, unjustified yung pag pisikal ko sa kanya. Yes po I am very wrong for doing that but after so many realizations, this could be the result of many accumulated years of frustration to my dad's bad behavior and habit.

Namatay kasi tito (75m) ko early this month. Cancer. Last few days nya dito ako (30f) nagbantay sa kanya.

Nagviewing saka misa na kami last week at umattend naman ako nun. Nacremate na rin po. Problema ko is parang nahawa ako sa sakit ng isa sa mga bisita 😭 di ko na alam sino andami kong kamag-anak na bineso.

Pag-uwi ko sobrang bigat ng katawan ko + linalagnat ako. Tatlong araw na migraine ko.

Sabi ng mom (65f) ko na maaga pa naman daw, pwede pa ko gumaling in time for the dinner. Sa Friday yung dinner, Wed ko tinatype ko. Feeling ko di pa ko magiging 100% by friday, tas parang ang sama naman ng ugali ko kung aattend ako tas may iba akong hahawaan?? Pero sabi nila kailangan daw pumunta ako kasi respect daw ganun. Eh may sakit nga ako 😭

Ako ba yung gago kung di ako aattend? technically nakapag-paalam na ko sa tito ko, pero giniguilt trip nila ko na kailangan ko daw pumunta. Note na hindi po siya libing, dinner lang talaga sya tas may mga sildeshow saka speech ganun.

Context: Aware naman ako na yung bf ko ay DDS. Pero ngayon kase, napag-usapan namin ang about sa impeachment trial and all. And nakaka-walang gana talaga ng mga sagutan nya bakit sinu-suportahan nya si Sara and the rest of the DDS senadors.

Why? As much as gusto kong i-respect yung differences namin and beliefs, sobrang nakaka-walang gana parin sya to the extent na para bang gusto ko na lang lumayo mula sa kanya. Hayst.

ABYG for feeling this way?

For context, she was one of the nursing students who assisted the doctor during my MRM surgery. I recently found out na ginawa pala nilang case study yung case ko for school. I understand naman na rare yung case ko, and I completely understand why it would be interesting and valuable for nursing students to study.

Pero ang hindi ko alam is ginawa pala nilang case study yung case ko, and I definitely did not give permission for my personal information to be shared.

What really pissed me off was finding out na she posted a file/photo related to the case sa story niya, and visible yung full name ko.

Like… gago ba ako kung magalit ako dito?

I understand using a patient’s case for educational purposes, especially if the patient’s identity is properly protected. Pero ibang usapan na kapag may pangalan ng patient na nakalagay tapos ipo-post mo pa sa social media.

This is not just some random medical case. It’s my diagnosis, my surgery, my body, and my private medical information. I went through something extremely personal and traumatic, and I feel like I should at least have been informed—or, at the very least, my identity should have been completely removed.

I haven’t confronted her yet because I’m honestly really angry and I don’t want to react impulsively. Part of me is also wondering if I’m overreacting because technically, she was involved in my care and this was supposedly for educational purposes.

But at the same time, nursing student siya. Shouldn’t she know better than to post identifiable patient information online?

So, AITA/gago ba ako kung magalit ako and call her out for this?

TL;DR: My brother-in-law’s girlfriend, a nursing student who assisted during my MRM surgery, used my rare case as a case study without me knowing and posted a file related to it on her social media story with my full name visible. Gago ba ako kung magalit ako?

ABYG Kung nagbasa ako ng Hentai dati habang kami pa ng jowa ko.

So nag uusap lang kami ng jowa ko and out of nowhere natanong niya kung nagbabasa pa ba ako ng mga bastos, so sumagot ako ng honest na oo pero nung dati pa like many months ago.

And na offend/turn off siya sakin dahil doon, kasi para sakanya it's like a low-level cheating, since iba yung pinag lalust ko.

Ung counter-argument ko naman is ginawa ko lng yun dati kasi malamang cguro narandaman ko lng at the moment (d ko maalala exact reason).

And eto kami ngayon, 2 oras nag aaway dahil sa ginawa ko nung dati pa. ABYG?

Add ko din pala: Hindi kami live in, I'm only 21 years old while she is 20. And we live very far away from each other and minsan lng kami nakakapagkita.

ABYG kung inaaway ko at lagi ko sinisita yung friend ko na girl na patanga tanga whose in an abusive relationship tpos kwinentuhan nya kami na yunh bf nya during sex forces her kahit ayaw nya. then pag pumapayag siya pinuputok sa loob kahit sinasabi nya sa labas..like wtf! parang mejo rape yunh dating sakin ! tang inaa ewan ko ba! pumapayag naman siya wag lang daw sa loob! pero pilit din naman yung papayag sa kanya! tang inaaaa diba!!!

ABYG kung magkasaulian kami ng ex GF ko for four years ng lahat ng binigay namin sa isa’t isa? For four years, I have given my ex plenty of shoes, several watches, a bag, pocket money sa foreign trip, half of an expensive camera, pagpapagawa ng car nya, and occasionally money for treating her mother. On the other hand, I have only received a watch, some shirts, two shoes, and a wood carving. Not that I need money, I just feel like if I do that ay mawawala yun feeling ko na I was just used.

Me (M32) at her (30) naging kami April ngayong taon. I work as an IT support and sya naman agent ng lending app para sa mga digital devices sa mall. Lagi naman kaming nagkakausap at nag kakachat. madalas din syang mag videocall kapag wala hindi sya busy sa work nya at kapag alam nyang hindi rin ako busy. pagkauwi nya ulit sa work video call ulit. kapag may lakad nagpapaalam naman sya and sya nag initiate na mag install kami ng Life360. Eto ang issue which is yung nakalagay sa Title. May one time na nakipag video call sya habang she's eating lunch at break nya dahil alam nyang nasa bahay ako at wlang pasok sa work. Then habang nasa videcall kami at kumakain sya may lumalapit na lalaki at nag tanong kung ano ang ulam nya. inamoy yung ulam nya which is malapit sa mukha ni jowa tapos lumapit sya sa mukha ni jowa ng sobrang lapit na parang hahalikan nya na. nag katitigan sila eyes to eyes at imbes na lumayo at umiwas, ngumiti lang si jowa, tumawa at nag sabi na "Tang ina mo (name ng guy)". hindi ko alam kung kinilig o natuwa sya pero ang dating sa akin e parang sanay na syang ganon ang ginagawa. Prior to that, may one time din na same scenario, kumakain sya at naka video call kami then lumapit yun at may ginawa sa kanya na hindi ko nakita dahil medyo half ng body ni jowa lang kita ko pero narinig ko yung sinabi ni jowa na "Tang ina mo kumakain ako". Sinabi ko sa kanya na hindi okay sakin yung nakita ko. sa chat ko lang sya kinausap pa lang e. sabi nya wala lang daw yun. ganon lang daw yun at maharot. talaga at may asawa na rin daw yung guy. sinabi ko sa kanya na galit ako sa ginawa nung guy at mas nakakadagdag sa bwiset ko ay yung reaksyon nya na ngumiti na parang kinilig at natuwa. sabi ko sa kanya na hindi ko maiwasang mag isip kung gusto nya ba yung ginawa sa kanya, sanay na ba syang ginagawa sa kanya yun, kung matagal na ba yung nangyayaring ganon or what. Andami ko nang nakitang relasyon lalo na sa mga kaibigan ko na sinira ng "Wala lang yun!" "Katrabaho ko lang yun". sabi nya na grabe naman daw ako kasi iniisip kong lumalandi lang sya don. ang sabi ko naman bumase lang ako sa kung ano ang nakita ko. hindi man lang sya dumipensa maliban sa sinasabi nyang magtiwala daw ako sa kanya na wala lang yun at nag tanong sya kung ano ang gusto kong gawin nya para matigil yung pag iisip ko. sabi ko hindi yun basta basta mawawala sa isip ko. hindi na kasi yun gawain ng magkatrabaho. may boyfriend sya at may asawa na yung guy. e pano din kung may makakita sa kanila sa ganoong posisyon sa ibang anggulo na mukha silang naghahalikan na. mabilis lang ang chismis sa work nila. i know na may mga malalantod talaga na mga lalaki kahit may jowa na at may asawa na pero ginugulo na talaga neto yung isip ko.

Pasensya na ang haba. kung babasahin mo man at magbibigay ka ng insights mo. maraming salamat. gusto ko lang mailabas dito as someone na hindi nyo kilala kasi kapag sa kaibigan ko may bias kagad na magagalit sa kanya e. Ako ba yung gago kasi nagalit ako at kung ano ano na yung pumasok sa isip ko?