r/AkoBaYungGago

So this happened last year. I (M27) have this friend (F26) for around 4 years already. Super close kami and same field of work pa. Ako kasi may car then siya wala, so kapag sasabay siya sakin okay lang naman. Like hatid sundo levels pa minsan. Ang issue lang talaga is super late niya lagi. Like usapan 9am ko siya susunduin pero lalabas siya almost 10am na. Pero I let it slide kasi nasanay na rin ako eventually.

One time, me and my friends planned a trip to Ilocos Norte. Problem is yung car ko manual and ako lang marunong mag drive ng manual, so wala akong kapalitan sa long drive. And Ilocos is like around 10 hours away.

Then itong si friend mismo nag offer na gamitin na lang daw car ng bf niya since automatic yun and tatlo kami marunong mag drive ng automatic. So syempre go kami.

Everything was already planned talaga. Nakapag file na kami ng leave sa work like a month before. May booked hotel na, planned itinerary, bought outfits, complete na talaga.

Then the night before the trip, around 8pm, okay pa lahat. Nag uusap pa kami about meeting place, call time, itinerary, etc.

Then around 11pm, bigla siya nag chat na ayaw na raw niya tumuloy.

No explanation. Basta ayaw na lang daw.

So ako syempre confused kasi literal ready na lahat. I kept asking her ano nangyari but ayaw niya sabihin. Since car ng bf niya yung gagamitin, I messaged the bf to ask what happened.

Apparently, nag away daw sila because hindi nakapag reply agad si guy. For context, si girl belongs to a certain religion and yung bf niya was trying to convert for her. That night nasa church si guy so hindi agad nakapag reply.

Nagalit si girl kasi hindi siya nareplyan agad and ayaw na niya makipag ayos after.

Then si girl nagalit sakin kasi bakit ko raw minessage bf niya eh issue raw nilang dalawa yun. But honestly I was just trying to save the trip kasi lahat kami affected. Yung iba naming kasama BPO agents pa and dala na nila maleta habang naka duty para derecho byahe pagka out.

But si ate girl wala na raw talaga gana gumala and hindi niya raw kaya makipag ayos just for the trip.

Dito na ako nainis talaga. Nirealtalk ko siya na ang inconsiderate nung ginawa niya kasi hindi biro yung effort and gastos for the trip. Like leaves were filed, hotels booked, outfits bought, plans finalized. Sabi ko sana nagsabi siya mas maaga para nakapaghanap kami ibang sasakyan instead of cancelling literal hours before departure.

After nun, blinock ko siya sa lahat ng socmed ko and basically cut her off.

We still pushed through with a trip though. Nag Baler Aurora na lang kami para hindi sayang yung leaves and ootds.

Some of our common friends told me ang harsh ko raw for blocking her over “one incident” pero for me kasi parang last straw na siya ng pagiging inconsiderate niya over the years.

ABYG?

ABYG to report my significant other and his workmate sa HR nila. I am talking to this guy for almost a year na and recently he entered his professional career na. He recently passed the ALE and entered a well established company for Architects. I was there when he was reviewing for boards, almost live in na kami. I already met and lived with his sisters and to be fair medyo magkakasundo na kami. I treated them as my sisters na rin. Last April may napansin akong nag iba, he would use his phone away from me, he'd hide his phone away. Nakaramdam na ako na may tinatago siya and low and behold meron nga. He and his workmate are flirting with each other. Like Sexting and exchanging tease pics and vids level flirting. The workmate is also partnered. They are also making out sa loob ng company premises. The last straw for me was last April 30 may naging send off party sila sa company nila coz 1 of their bosses will leave the country na ata and that same night may nangyari sakanila. They had carfun somewhere and they lied about it when I confronted them pero eventually umamin din. I am devastated right now and torn. Will I be irrational if I report them sa HR nila and send the screenshots of their conversation about making out sa loob ng cubicle sa cr ng office, I am also planning to talk to his workmate's partner but ang isa ko pang dilemma was yung partner niya is mag tatake ng ALE this coming June. IDK what to do, please help me.

ABYG Nag dine in kami ng asawa ko sa ramen resto sa SM. Umupo kami sa booth at nag order na. Medyo puno yung restaurant pero may mga available pa naman. May nag walk in na couple BF GF. Umupo sa booth sa harap namin. Si BF may dalang personal JET fan. Yung sobrang ingay malayo palang at naka max pa. Hindi mainit sa resto. Sa sobrang tulis ng ingay ng fan, yun nalang naririnig ko at hindi ko makausap asawa ko. Hintay kami mga 5 mins baka naman patayin o hinaan niya. Eh hindi niya ginawa, max power talaga. Tumawag ako ng waiter at nakiusap kung pwede niya sabihan na paki hinaan yung fan. Mabait si waiter at ginawa naman niya. Sumilip si BF at tumingin sakin. Nag senyas ako na kung pwede niya hinaan ang fan niya. Parinig niya sinabi “Ang arte mo naman boss”. Lumapit sakin si waiter at tinanong kami kung gusto ba namin lumipat. Sabi ko no thank you. Si BF at GF tumayo, pasigaw nyang sinabi na nawalan daw sila ng gana. Nag stare down sa table namin. Umalis. Sabi ng asawa ko baka dapat lumipat nalang kami ng mesa para iwas confrontation.

Sawa na ako mag adjust sa mga inconsiderate. Ako ba yung gago dito? Thank you

May out of town trip kami with work friends puro kami girlies and may 1 boy. Matagal na itong plano at nakkwento ko rin kay bf dahil excited rin ako sa gala.

Okay sa bf ko (25F) ng 7 years , ldr kami most of the time bf (26m)nung una, pero nung nalaman niya na kung sino ung 1 guy, pinagbawalan niya na ko sumama dahil may selos issues na siya ron for almost 2 years. Sabe ko, sayang lang selos mo dahil wala siyang bilang sakin, i even forgot na andon siya sa group.

Hanggang sa naging intense yung arguments namin, dahil ginusto ko talagang sumama. Main reason ko is ayaw ko ng feeling ko im very controlled and alam ko namang wala akong ginagawang mali. Gusto ko pa rin na may individuality ako at social life kahit papano. We’re both tired and stressed from work and i always look forward to these trips to destress and feel alive. Pero ang dating nito sa kaniya ay prinoprotect ko si guy, and i was only making bs and excuses to spend time together. Mas lalo lang siyang napikon at nagalit.

Sabe ni bf kami nalang daw mag travel doon instead. Dahil gusto niya raw maglibot kami around habang seeing it for the first time together. He is upset that i get to see the place for the first time with others esp w the guy he is jealous with.
I argued na he always said that but never naman planned bc he’s always busy sa work. Nag iipon daw siya for “our future”. I said ok i respect that. But let me go on this trip, since booked and paid na.
Out of his tantrum, gusto niya nang sumama sa amin. Pero sabi ko settled na ung trip sa agency. At ayoko ng magmukang the dramatic one at makalat sa work group namin. Isa pa, niyaya ko na siya una pa lang sabi niya ayaw niyang makipagplastikan w other ppl. Ngayon gusto niya na?

Nag tantrum siya, at nag sisimula na kaming mag argue about sa past wrong doings ng isa’t isa. Hanggang humantong na sabihin niya na ayaw niya na sa relationship namin and gusto niya ng mag end ito. Now he started ghosting me.

Sa 7 years namin together, i have always been faithful. I asked him why di niya ko mapayagan does he not trust me?

Ngayon, im really numb and confused pano humantong sa ganito. Mali ba na piliin ko ang sarili kong freedom by wanting to go on that trip? Abyg? Was it really a selfish and unfair move towards my
bf?

Nag order ako sa foodpanda nang lunch ko worth 300. 1k bills lang talaga meron ako that time since kaka withdraw ko lang nang allowance ko. As soon as nakita ko may rider na na nag accept, nag chat ako agad na "sir, 1k po yung pera ko inform ko lang po kayo para maka prepare po kayo nang panukli"

(Nag ch-chat talaga kasi ako sa rider beforehand pag wala akong smaller bills. And so far, never naman ako nagkaproblema.)

Nag assume ako na nabasa nya, kasi mga around 30 minutes din kasi sya naghintay sa restaurant na inorderan ko tapos may isang delivery pa syang ginawa, bago yung sakin.

Pagdating nya, inabot ko yung pera ko. Napahinto sya, tapos sabi nya wala daw syang panukli. Nagtanong sha if wala daw ba akong exact amount? Sabi ko wala sir, ito lang talaga. 1k bills lang laman nang wallet ko. Tapos parang nagalit pa sya kasi wala daw syang panukli. Eh umiba yung tono nya, ang hinahon ko nakipag usap sa kanya. So sinabihan ko sya "sir nag inform naman po ako sa chat na 1k yung pera ko para makaprepare ka" tapos sabi pa nya nang pagalit "nag chat ka? Eh di ko nabasa" so sinagot ko din sya nang pagalit "di ko na yun kasalanan sir. Bakit kayo nagagalit eh nag inform naman ako"

Sinabihan nya pa ko bakit daw ako nagagalit. Sinabihan ko rin sya "mahinahon po akong nakipag usap sa inyo, kayo po yung nagalit, sinuklian ko lang"

Tapos ayun bumubulong na sya sa sarili nya, na para bang gusto nya ako pa maghanap nang panukli. Binigay ko ulit yung pera tapos kinuha nya at naghanap sya dun sa malapit na mga tindahan. Sinabihan pa sya nung mama sa tabi na nakarinig samin, "bakit di mo binasa? Nag inform naman pala" di ko na narinig sinagot nya.

Buti nalang yung tindera sa malapit na tindahan, eh suki ako don. Narinig nya kami nung rider, nag offer sya na may sinsilyo sya.

Ako ba yung gago? Kasi medyo nagu-guilty rin ako after non kasi baka may pinagdadaanan sya.

For context, we met in high school and became best friends. About 10 years of friendship. I eventually moved to the U.S. bc of my dad, but despite the distance and time difference, we stayed in contact almost every day. I was always the type of friend who would answer her calls no matter what time it was.
I think 2 years ago, she got a job at a well-known company. I came home to the Philippines to visit with my boyfriend, and during that entire trip, she and her then-boyfriend basically didn't pay for anything. Airbnb, food, gas, even her menstrual pads (she claimed she didn’t have cash / wallet and asked me to get her some), whatever. Everything ended up being covered by me and my boyfriend.

Now, before anyone says anything, yes, I know I should have communicated better. I never directly asked her to split costs. But honestly, I thought she would at least offer. Especially because she had a stable job and was constantly posting things online about how generous she was, buying gifts for people, and making posts like, "You can call me anything but broke."

I let it go.

Then she started an online baking business. I wanted to support her, so I ordered from her and paid both for the order and the delivery fee so she could send it to my grandmother's house.

Two weeks later, she called and said she was too busy and couldn't fulfill the order anymore. I said, "Okay, no worries. Just send the refund to my grandma through GCash." (I don’t have gcash)

She never refunded it.

Not gonna lie, that really bothered me. It wasn't even about the amount. I just don't like people wasting my time or playing with my money. It felt disrespectful coming from someone I've known for a decade.
Eventually, I stopped reaching out and the friendship basically died.

Fast forward to now. I'm back in the Philippines on vacation. She messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up. I figured maybe she wanted to reconnect and actually talk things out, so I told her I couldn't really go out (I honestly didn’t wanna be subjected to pay for her) but she was welcome to come over to my grandmother's house.

She agreed.

Because of that, I had the house cleaned up and asked my family to prepare food because I was expecting a guest.

The entire day passed with no updates from her.

Then at around 10 PM she texted me saying she had just finished at church and couldn't make it anymore, but if I wanted to meet at a cafe the next day she'd be down.

The thing is... at almost the exact same time she sent that message, she posted Instagram stories showing she was already at a cafe.

At that point I just felt stupid.

Part of me thinks I'm overreacting because maybe she's just busy and life happens. Another part of me feels like this has been a pattern for years: not contributing, not refunding money she owed, making plans she doesn't follow through on, and only reaching out when it's convenient for her.

So..Ako ba yung gago if I just go ghost (this time permanently) and end the friendship?

may tito ako na pumunta sa bahay namin umiiyak habang nangungutang ulit sa mama ko. nasa 50k na utang niya samin kasi siya lang bumubuhay sa almost 40 years old niyang anak na babae at tatlo nitong anak.

context: 
- yung pinsan ko, nag-resign noong january sa trabaho niyang 300 pesos a day at hanggang ngayon wala pa ring trabaho kahit maraming opportunity. yung kapatid niyang lalaki na 30+ na rin, wala ring stable job. puro flex lang ng motor parts sa social media.
- ang nakakainis pa, yung 20 years old na panganay niya ay may latest iphone, naka-braces, at may motor pa — lahat provided ng tito ko, walang siyang ambag bilang nanay (single mom siya pero isip dalaga)
- nakatira sila sa bahay ng magulang ko sa ibang city

ang malala, pagkauwi ng tito ko matapos mangutang dahil wala na silang pagkain, nadatnan niyang nag-iinuman mga anak at apo niya. tapos yung pinsan ko nagsisisigaw pa raw ng “single ako, ireto niyo ako.”

dahil doon, nagchat ako sa gc ng pamilya namin:
“kapag alam nating pabigat na tayo at wala nang ambag kundi problema, mahiya naman sana tayo at kumilos. hindi pwedeng puro asa, puro hingi, puro dahilan.”

eh kaya ko lang naman sinabi yun kasi kaming magpipinsan ay nag-usap-usap na dapat may mag-confront na sa kanila. baon na sa utang yung tito ko habang silang lahat walang ginawa kundi maging pabigat.

after non, may nagsumbong saking kapitbahay nila na galit na galit daw yung pinsan ko. nagsisisigaw sa kalsada, sinasabing nakakapikon daw ako. sabi pa raw kapag nakaalis siya ng bansa, sasampalin niya kami ng pera. mas malaki raw kikitain niya sa isang araw kaysa apat na araw naming sweldo kapag nakapag-singapore siya.

(yun pala, nalaman ko lang yung secret niya na may balak siyang mag-dh abroad at may pinangakong s3x work sa kanya kaya pala sobrang taas ng ere.)

simula nung sinend ko yung message, nag-leave silang magkapatid at mga anak nila sa lahat ng gc, binlock kami, at puro parinig na facebook at chismis na masama raw ugali ko, ugaling aso, at matigas puso ko.

ngayon ako yung naging masama at kontrabida.

ako ba yung gago?

Eto na nga, ako (26F) at yung bf ko (26M), 3 yrs na kami and may vapeshop business. Ngayon may nakita akong bagong battery ng vape then inask ko if kanino yon, kasi may one time na kumuha sya ng battery sa benta namin tapos hindi nya sinabi, alam kong samin galing yon kasi wala namang ibang nagbebenta around samin maski sa direct circle of friends nya at alam kong kami lang may color variant non, tas inamin nyang kumuha nga sya ang sabi nya pa sakin “oo wag ka mag alala edi babayaran ko?!” Basta pagalit kasi nahuli ko. Nagalit ako sa kanya non tapos nagalit din sya.

Going back, ayon na nga may bago na naman akong batt na nakita, alam ko samin yon, cinonfront ko ulit sya sabi ko “may kasalanan ka sakin, ano na naman yang batt mo na yan kinuha mo na naman yung sa benta” tas sabi nya “anong benta? Kay (friend1) yan” sabi ko naman “Friend1 eh kinuha nga non battery mo last time” tas edi defend na naman sya sabi nya “oh bakit kapatid nya nagbebenta” si Friend1 kasi may kapatid yon nagbebenta rin pero hindi naman maramihan lang 2 pcs 3pcs batt lang. based sa itsura nya na galit na naiinis, alam kong ginagaslight nya na ako. Edi ginawa ko chinat ko si Friend1 nya, ending di raw kanya kay bf ko raw. So pinakita ko kay bf, para alam nyang alam ko na nagsisinungaling sya.

Then, sumagot ulit sya “edi kay Friend2 yan, sila lang naman kasama ko kagabi sa bahay nila” (naghihiraman kasi sila ng vape tas nauuwi minsan) tas sabi ko sa kanya “Kanino talaga yan? Pag nagbilang ako ng inventory ah” binibigyan ko pa sya ng chance umamin. Tapos sabi nya pa “oh edi magbilang ka para malaman mo” tas sabi ko “ano talaga? Pagbibilangin mo pa ako ng inventory para sa isang piraso na yan kung pwede mo naman sabihin sakin” tas sabi nya “bilangin mo nalang yung inventory para malaman mo naneto” (naneto is parang tng1na neto) tas sa gigil ko sabi ko “nagmumura kapa dyan lakas mo?!” Tas umalis na sya kasi sasamahan nya si friend1.

Ngayon, chinat ko si friend2 sabi nya, “hindi samin yun kung yung kulay green yan sa kanya yan” odiba di na ako nagtanong ng pasikot sikot rekta na sinabi sakin. Tangina nagsinungaling pa twice.

ABYG kung nagcocontemplate na ako kung worth it pa ba to? Ang dami na nya kasing small lies tapos sa lahat ng beses na yon, galit pa sya talaga kasi nahuhuli ko syang nagsisinungaling. Tapos pag galit ako after ilang minuto magsosorry na parang ganon ganon nalang yon. Naiipon na yung galit ko sa small lies na yon na minamanipulate nya akong parang ako pa yung mali. Nagmumura pa (sa relasyon kasi namin ayoko ng minumura isat isa) 😭😭

I am a fourth year graduating student taking up BS Accountancy. We are currently in our last semester and is set to graduate on July, tho nasa finals week pa lang kami at kailangan pa namin muna pumasa bago maging sure na makakapag-martsa kami.

I have a blockmate, let's name him John. I would describe John as a leader. Mahilig siya sumali sa mga school orgs since first year kami and climbed his way up to regional orgs. He seems pretty smart too, tipong kahit absent siya on most days and papasok lang pag nababalitaan niyang may quiz or exam ay nakakapasa pa rin siya.

Actually, nagka-issue na si John before about sa attendance niya. Nabalitaan namin na balak na siyang i-drop ni Prof Alan dahil 3 meetings na siyang wala. Mind you, every Saturday na lang yun pero di niya pa mapasukan. Now we are in our last semester, and 5 na lang yung subjects na tinetake namin which are integrated topics for the boards. We usually have 1 class a day and it's just a 3-hour lecture. This is important to remember for later.

Yung professor namin sa isang subject, wala siyang pake sa attendance. John took this opportunity to be absent as much as he wants, as long as he will pass the quizzes and exams. Surprisingly, he does, and it triggered most of my blockmates, saying na paano siya nakakapasa kung hindi siya pumapasok?

Marie was one of the triggered ones, which was odd because Marie was also a student leader since first year and same sila ng org ni John. Marie is also a friend of a friend, so during this particular subject, we are in the same circle. She was ranting in our GC na paano nakalusot si John despite Prof Alan being open sa class na ibabagsak na nga niya si John dahil hindi nga pumapasok? Sila nga raw na laging pumapasok, binagsak ni Prof Alan and they had to retake the subject this semester as well. I jokingly said na, "What if i-email natin yung Chairperson about kay John? Charot." Sa chat to, so obviously I was joking dahil nagsabi pa ako ng charot, diba?

The next day nagulat ako na she was encouraging her other friends to join her sa paggawa ng petition to not let John graduate. Sabi ko joke lang yun and told her na she shouldn't do it, but she was determined. I didn't send an email kahit sinabi kong magssend ako because I didn't think they would actually push through with my joke. Sampu silang nagsend ng email. This was last week. Today, they were called sa Chairperson's office to discuss. I don't think John has an idea about the situation yet because yes, absent din siya today. That's pretty much all the info I have up to this point.

This issue spread like wildfire and hati ang opinions. Some say na hindi niya nga deserve gumraduate dahil sila na 2 or 3 points away from passing Prof Alan's class, hindi napagbigyan and had to retake as well. Tapos siya na more than 3 absences ang ginawa which should be considered dropped (this is based on the student manual) but how come that he passed?

Yung iba naman, ang rationale is crab mentality raw. Hindi raw maganda na naghihilaan pa kami pababa kung kailan graduating na kami. Some say na baka inggit daw dahil nakakapasa kahit di pumapasok while they are the opposite; pumapasok pero bagsak.

I do understand both sides. Feeling ko lang na ako yung gago dahil ako yung nagbring up about sa pageemail, even when I said it jokingly. ABYG?

Hi. Skl. Hindi naman ‘to mabigat na kwento.

Me (28F) and my workmates (28M, 24F, and 24F) na naging friends ko na rin were having a dinner. Magkakasama kaming girls sa staff house, ‘yung guy ay separated pero we invited him at our place for dinner. My guy friend (28M) and a girl friend (24F) cooked dinner while me and the other girl friend (24F) did nothing. We just waited for the food to be ready.

So nung okay na ‘yung food, kumain na kami pero hindi pa muna sumabay ‘yung isa. Ang kasabay ko ay ‘yung dalawang nagluto. After namin kumain, nagpahinga na ‘yung dalawang nagluto and ako na nagligpit ng mga pinagkainan. Ako na rin naghugas kasi sila nga ang nagluto. Habang naghuhugas ako (nakatalikod ako sa dining table), eh kumain na ‘yung isa na hindi sumabay kumain sa’min.

Marami akong hinugasan kaya focused ako that time, at hindi ko alam ang situation nila habang naghuhugas ako. After ko maghugas, pupunasan ko na ‘yung lamesa. I saw her plates na andun sa lamesa, hindi nakaligpit so hindi ko sure kung tapos na ba siya kumain o hindi. Hindi niya rin naman ako sinabihan na pasabay nung plate niya which is perfectly okay kung ia-ask niya ako, maliit na bagay lang naman ‘yon. So andun pa ‘yung mga sandok sa ulam at kanin so hindi ko talaga sure kung kakain pa ba siya kasi baka umalis lang siya saglit. Hindi kasi nakaligpit kaya hindi ko rin talaga alam.

Kaya nagpahinga na rin ako after ko maghugas.

After about a week, sinabi sa’kin nung other friends ko na nagsabi daw si ate girl na sumama loob niya sa’kin for not washing her plates. Ang sagot ko na lang sa nagkwento eh sorry kasi I didn’t know. Hehehehe. Ewan. ABYG?????

My girlfriend and I have been arguing a lot throughout the relationship. Mind you, the relationship is still fairly new as we met last year November but became official this year January. We argued so much that it became emotionally draining for both of us. She, however, brought up the idea of having a no contact break which was fine for me. During this process, she asked me out on a date because it happened to be our monthsary and thought it would be a waste not to celebrate it. Of course me being the dumbass, I went because I missed her. She cried, told me she loved me, and how she missed me. At this point, I was already thinking that we were going to get back together. Until she hit me with the "Idk still what to do in our relationship."

At the present, I asked again what her intentions were, and it was to take a break (no contact) this time with a deadline of 2 weeks. Later that night I messaged her saying that I think 2 weeks was kind of long and if it was okay if she can meet in the middle as it makes me anxious (I have anxiety problems.) She asked me, "Why can't you wait for 2 weeks?" I replied that I just thought 2 weeks was too long to determine if you still loved me and whether to continue the relationship or not. She kept proceeding to say that I didn't understand her space and that whats best for her. I asked, "What about me? I told you I have anxiety problems and its very hard to deal with 1 hour much less 2 weeks. All I'm asking is for you to meet me in the middle." She then called me selfish and say that I couldn't even give 2 weeks to her and wanted to breakup.

On the same night I messaged her, I got information from a friend that she was hanging with the guy that I was uncomfortable with and she promised she wouldn't interact with him whatsoever. I exploded and immediately assumed she was cheating. She promised she wouldn't talk to this guy. Oo admit ko na medj impulsive ginawa ko. Pero legit ba ako yung at fault dito? Ako ba yung gago naghingi lang ng compromise and assurance mula sa jowa ko?

**FOR CONTEXT**
Both of us are gamers. My girlfriend plays with a lot of guys and I don't really mind as long as she introduces me to them or if I ever got to play with them. This guy (let's call him XJ), XJ kept playing with my girlfriend. Of course it was fine she played with him. The actions however were just so weird to me. (1) XJ kept insisting to play with my gf even if he knew that I was playing with her at that time. (2) My gf set an alarm for him because she promised XJ to play at midnight. My reasoning if he's just random guy, I think he wouldnt care. Why go through the effort? (3) XJ and my gf were specifically always together everyday, and they met only for 2 months, in which, I never got introduced or formally met the guy in the span of 2 months. (4) I kid you not that I told my gf that I was uncomfortable with this guy and she proceeded to defend him with her life saying "Oh XJ would never do that!", "XJ isn't that type of person and no he's not weird for doing this and that!" Like she met the guy only for 2 months and acts like she knows him her whole life. She also never parted ways with the guy or cut him for now after telling her I was uncomfortable.

Me (F21) and my bestfriend (F20) got grouped with three other students (F19, F20, M20) for a major research subject. Wala kaming choice sa grouping kaya napagsama-sama nalang kami. At first okay naman kasi akala namin responsible sila and marunong makisama.

Pero nung binigay ng prof namin yung buong class time para mag brainstorm ng research titles, bigla nalang umalis yung tatlo naming groupmates at hindi na bumalik. Naiwan kaming dalawa ng bestfriend ko sa room na parang “ha?” habang lahat ng groups nag-uusap na.

Minessage namin sila kung bakit sila umalis at kung alam ba nilang brainstorming yung pinapagawa. Ang sagot lang nila: “Nag sit-in kami sa kabilang section hehe.”

Walang apology, walang attempt tumulong. Yung isa naming kagrupo na boy, bumalik pa sa room pero para lang sabihin na “sa GC nalang pag-usapan.”

Nakakainis kasi may 3 hours na class time na sana para maayos namin nang personal. Habang kami ng bestfriend ko halos mabaliw kakaisip ng title ideas, consult nang consult sa prof, revise nang revise, sila ibang bagay lang pinagkakaabalahan.

Fast forward sa data gathering.

Tuwing bibili kami ng snacks and materials for respondents, laging wala yung lalaking groupmate namin. Dahilan niya madalas may work daw siya. Sige, inintindi namin kasi baka pagod or busy talaga.

Pero ang problema, kapag ambagan na, siya rin yung laging late magbayad. Umaabot sa point na allowance ko at allowance ng bestfriend ko yung ginagamit muna pambayad kasi short kami sa budget. Literal na minsan tinitipid na namin pagkain namin para lang may pang-cover sa kulang.

Ang mas nakakainis, sumusulpot naman siya during research activities pero kadalasan uupo lang sa gilid. Walang initiative tumulong, walang assistance, walang “sorry late ako” — wala talaga.

Ngayon nasa Results and Discussion part na kami. Honestly okay lang sakin tumulong sa write-up, pero parang unfair naman na halos wala siyang ambag sa data gathering tapos pati dito wala nanaman gagawin. Naiisip ko tuloy i-ghost muna siya para maramdaman naman niyang may responsibility siya bilang groupmate. Ang expectation ko nalang sana is siya na gumawa nitong part kasi supposedly magaling siya sa statistics (kahit ako rin naman halos gumawa ng stats namin).

Ngayon nagi-guilty ako kasi baka masyado lang kaming harsh sakanya dahil may work siya at ayoko nalang mag confront din kasi hirap na hirap na nga sa research. Pero at the same time, pagod na pagod na rin kami magbuhat and hindi na talaga makatarungan.

ABYG?

Nag-absent na ako kahapon Tue, May 19, dahil kailangan ko puntahan tatay ko sa Ospital, na pagkalayo-layo sa bayan namin. Tapos kahapon ng umaga pa lang sobrang sama na ng pakiramdam ko para na akong nasusuka, nanghihina, at nagdudumi ako ng fluid.

Sobrang sama talaga ng pakiramdam ko feel ko para akong lalagnatin pero hindi natutuloy, nasa loob yung init. At dehydrated na talaga dry mouth at nanghihina, kapag kumikilos ako parang ngalay yung limbs ko at may pagkamasakit.

Nagbigay agad ako ng notice sa supervisor ko pagka-uwi na hindi ako makapapasok, at magbibigay na lang kako ako ng medical certificate. After ilang hours ni-like lang ako. Doon pa lang na-off na ako para kasing walang manners.

Tapos ito nagising lang ako dahil nadudumi na naman. Makita ko nag-chat siya, at dito talaga nag-init ulo ko sa pagkasabi niya. Hindi ko alam kung valid ba itong reaction ko, o dahil sensitive lang ako kapag may sakit.

Verbatim:

"luh, Di ba pwedi inuman Ng gamot Yan? start na Kasi nag suspension ni ate [co-store crew] bukas e 2 days yun."

Mind you all, apat na supervisors sila. Tapos isang visor lang talaga sa isang araw, maliban kapag Monday. Kapag may rest day din naman sa amin na store crew ay isa pang Visor din yung inaatas, o kaya nanghihiram sa kabilang branch. Mas focus kasi talaga yung visor sa gas station, kaysa sa convenience store.

Mag-2 months pa lang kasi rito at first job ko pa ito. Feel ko lang ang GG ko na sa binabalak kong mag-reply ng petty, pero sa maayos pa rin na paraan.

So, ABYG?

I (F26) have moved in with my bf (29) after a year of being in a relationship.

It's not the typical live-in setup because I am renting a room in their house (they're renting out their entire 2nd floor, has separate entrance from their main house), and my bf stays with me.

Now, my bf has 2 moms. Yung bio mom nya, and yung tita nya na nagpalaki sa kanya. I have no issues with her bio mom because she is sport. Like literal na hindi nakikialam, but she gives me food, we go out together, and all.

His tita is the same, whom he also calls "ma" kasi nga yun ang nagpalaki sa kanya. The only problem is, she treats my bf like a child.

Whenever we go out, she always calls him. Like everyday. Not a day na hindi nakakatanggap ng call yung bf ko sa kanya to ask about his whereabouts. She spams him with calls and texts if he doesn't answer.

Minsan nga pag may out of town kami tas malalaman nila, magsasabi pa yan na bakit daw hindi sya sinama. Or even on our dinner dates, magpaparinig. I understand yung concern pero naiinis ako. Yung bio mom nga nya hindi halos naghahanap sa bf ko. Kahit nga mom ko na ako yung nasa malayo from my fam, barely calls me.

I don't know. I may be feeling weird about it. I may be the gago pero sometimes I feel like this isn't normal. I hate that they are treating him like a child when he's almost 30. I hate it minsan pag pumupunta sya sa kwarto para magtambay, and they will be side by side in our bed. I even joked and told my bf it's giving mama's boy vibes. Lol

I am fine with mom surveillance. It's normal kasi we're both legally single. Pero minsan mapapa-side eye nalang talaga ako. ABYG? If you're in my shoes, what will you do?

Hi, I'm M25, currently may work sa isang private company at yung jowa ko naman F23 may work din sa isang fasfoodchain malapit sa kanila. Hindi naman kami perfect couple pero nagtutulongan naman sa lahat ng bagay.

Recently nag loan sya since plan niya mag palagay ng brace kasi nahihiya sya sa ngipin, so ako naman as boyfriend ay support ko naman sya sa plano nya at siniguro ko mismo na maiintindihan niya kung gaano kamahal mag palagay ng brace as well as ang maintenance every month hanggang matapos.

Ito na nga, may upcoming session sya na need ng 5k mahigit para sa bunot at pasta tapos short sya sa pera at sakto naman walang wala din ako that time so nag decide sya na mag loan ulit para may pambayad lang. Kaya nag decide ako na ako na ang mag loan at maliit lang din ang interest at ako na din muna magbabayad ng montly nito for the meantime at walang problema sa akin.

Hanggang sa may plano daw ang mga workmate niya na mag outing bukas sa malayo at kasama siya, sagot na muna ng isang workmate nya ang gastos at final na raw ito. Two gives at every sahod ang bayad so it means additional bayarin na naman at double off pa sila. Pumayag akong sumama sya pero sinabihan ko din sya na "remember may exisiting bayarin ka pa at dadagdag na naman yan, make sure hindi ka magkakaproblema kasi kapag magkakaproblema ka sa upcoming bayarin mo ng dahil dyan baka di kita tutulongan sa ibang bayarin mo at wag mo sanang mamasamain kasi hinid kita gustong malubog sa utang". Pero iba pagkakaintindi nya kasi hindi lang daw ako papayag na gumala sya sa malayo kesyo ganito at ganyan, kapag malaki daw sahod nya sa katapusan babayaran na daw ng buo yung loan na nakapangalan sakin.

Ewan ko ba, di nalang ako nag reply.

ABYG?

Currently struggling to pay my debts that is 500k+ hindi pa kasama interest, nagbabayad naman pa konti konti pero hindi talaga nababawasan and I’m literally drowning, if curious kayo san nagastos ang pera at bakit umabot sa ganto? sa pagpapagawa ng bahay dahil pinalayas kami ng mga anak ko sa family house dahil nag away kami ng mama at kapatid ko, panloloko samen nung Ex ng partner ko sa sustento (may anak sila pero nam@t*y sa kapabayaan), na fraud yung credit card ko (Bin attack), binilhan ko ng mga gamit pang contruction ang tatay ko pero hindi ako binayaran kahit may contract siya at malaki ang cut, tuwing may okasyon ako halos ang sumasagot to the point na kahit wala akong extra ginagawan ko nang paraan para may pang handa sa kanila. Ngayon nag kaaway ulit kami ng kapatid ko , wala siyang anak pero nakatira pa din sa puder ng magulang ko at may live in partner na unemployed, nag kasagutan sa chat at ayun nauwi na sa labasan ng baho, laging pang bala sakin kapag nag aaway kami ay yung mga demand letters na dumadating sa parents house ko. Sasabihan pako na “bakit hindi ka nalang mag pakam@t@y” “karm@ ng kayabangan mo yan” “mag l@sl@s ka nalang ulit” I have a history nang pagiging suicidal kasagsagan ng pandemic nag counseling naman ako pero ngayon pakiramdam ko sariling pamilya ko pa gustong mag baon sakin 6 ft under the ground. Lumalaban ako para sa mga anak ko sa totoo lang pero baka sa susunod totohanin ko nalang. Pinagtutulungan nila akong lahat na para bang wala akong nagawang tama. Abyg kung iblock ko nalang silang lahat at isipin na wala akong pamilya?

ABYG kung umuwi ako sa sarili namin bahay dahil nasisira na ang mental health ko?

I F25 nakatira sa pinsan ko (F30) at pinapaaral ako. For more context, wala silang kasama sa bahay bukod sa dalawang anak nila at ng asawa niya not until araw-araw bumibisita yung kapatid niya na pinsan ko rin (M35). Simula nung tumira ako sa kanila at pinag-aral ako tumutulong na ko sa mga gawaing bahay na alam ko. Simula nung umalis yung mga kasama sa bahay ng mga pinsan ko ako na rin sumalo sa mga trabaho nila. Ako na rin yung nag-aalaga sa mga bata araw-araw, if may pasok man ako pagkatapos ng pasok ko diretso uwi ako.

Ito na nga sobrang bait ng pinsan ko na babae pero yung kapatid niya (M35) wala nang ibang nakita kung hindi ako. Hindi ko na iisa-isahin pero ang mga tumatak sa utak ko ay yung sinabihan akong tamad, puro cellphone, at ini-imply niya na sinungaling ako, at ang pinaka huli sa lahat ay kung ano-anong sinasabi sa kapatid ko. Hindi lang naman ako yung naka pansin nito pati kapatid niya pero tinatawan lang yung nangyayari. Isa pa pati yung kasama namin sa bahay dati sinabihan ako na lagi na lang daw akong napapagalitan kahit nasa hustong edad na ko.

Isa pa pag umuuwi ako ng matagal matic sinasabi ng tita ko na okay lang na utus-utusan ako ng mga bata (mga pamangkin) ko kasi matagal naman akong wala sa bahay nila. Ngayon halos isang buwan na kong di bumabalik sa kanila dahil na rin halos wala kaming pasok dahil sa mga events sa school pero habang iniisip ko na babalik ako doon naiiyak na ko. Hindi naman ako ganito dati pero parang na burn out ako.

Another thing bakit sobrang lala ng mental health ko is nagamit ang identity ko sa mga utang na hindi naman ako yung naka gamit kung hindi ang pinsan ko. Oo, alam ko naman na tanga ako sa parteng 'yon pero pag pinapaaral ka kasi parang hindi ka makahindi. Natatandaan ko pa paano ako sinabihan na baka raw di na ko magpa-utang once na naka graduate na ko.

Ngayon feel ko ang gago ko kasi umuwi ako at di sinabi yung totoong dahilan bakit ako umuwi. Ang iniisip lang nila kasi gusto ko.

Ako ba yung gago kasi umuwi ako at inuna yung mental health ko at ayoko ng bumalik?

ako [23F] and si mama [43F] nag-away. may habit mama ko na out of nowhere hahawakan ka sa butt or sa priv area, sa amin ng kapatid ko [18F] and papa ko [52M]. ginagawa niya yun while clothed and out of nowhere talaga.

hindi ako comfy abt that habit of her and i already said it to her pero dinidismiss niya yung sinasabi ko by saying na biro lang naman at sobrang seryoso ko. paano pala raw if may boyfriend na ako and minsan sinabi pa niya na “pero kapag lalake gusto mo?”. pinag-awayan na namin and ofc dahil anak ako, talo ako and her habit continued.

kahapon, nasa kama ako. daster suot ko kasi mainit. nag-uusap kami abt something and medyo maingay kami kaya umalma kapatid ko na nagt-try matulog. so sabi ko maya na kami mag-usap. maya maya yung kamay niya pinasok niya sa daster and then sa underwear ko and touched me. ofc nagulat ako

that was the first time she did that, whenever na ginagawa niya yun laging clothed. so as response sabi ko hindi okay yun, mali yun. and as reply sinabi niya na okay lang yun kasi biro lang, she’s basically telling me na porket biro eh okay lang.

tinanong ko siya if papa ko ba gumawa okay lang? sabi niya hindi kasi lalake. i asked again, eh kung ibang tao? okay lang daw basta babae rin. at kahit ano raw gawin niya sa akin eh okay lang kasi nanay ko siya at anak lang ako. like? ha? wtf? sumabog ako kaya sinabihan ko siyang siraulo. syempre inabot ako ng bugbog at mas masasakit pang salita, naungkat na lahat ng pwedeng maungkat maski sinabihan na akong dapat pinisil na lang daw niya ilong ko nung bata pa ako which i think means… that.

feel ko gago ako kasi sinabihan ko siyang siraulo over that and i am feeling guilty rn for what i did. tho i am still mad for what she did and said. so ABYG?

edit: not sure abt the tag pero nsfw na lang cuz i think it is kinda nsfw

Well, I didn’t really decline. I just got home from the gym and found my parents figuring out how to send money to the province to help my grandma. They asked if I could contribute too, but honestly wala pa talaga ako sa sarili nung time na yun since kakauwi ko lang. Ang nasagot ko lang was, “Hindi ko naman close.”

I know it sounded bad, but I didn’t mean it in a disrespectful way. I’ve only met my grandma once during a family reunion, and we barely even talked. She’s been absent from my life ever since I was young, so I never really formed that emotional connection with her. I don’t feel that “lukso ng dugo” people talk about because, realistically, we were never close.

I also didn’t mean that I wouldn’t help at all. I’m just conflicted because part of me feels like it’s unfair na they were never really present in my life, tapos now expected akong ma-feel agad yung same level of concern everyone else feels. Plus, financially, wala rin talaga siya sa budget ko right now.

Tutulong naman ako if may extra, pero at the moment I’m honestly just confused about what I should be feeling.

So, ABYG?

TW: slight sexual theme

Ako ba yung gago just because I voiced out my valid concerns? Today was really overwhelming for me. A few days ago, I (23F) already got really hurt because my dad (M55) left his used underwear (flipped inside out) on the sofa and I reminded him to put it in the hamper since it felt unhygienic and disrespectful in a shared space. He got angry at me for bringing it up again later, and my mom basically defended him and said it was different because he’s my dad. That already stayed with me because I felt like my concerns were treated as less important than protecting his feelings.

Then today another thing happened that pushed me over the edge. I found my brother’s (M22) flash drive with sexual content inside my underwear drawer, which felt like a huge violation of my privacy and boundaries. I exploded because it felt like everything just piled up — the disrespect, the double standards, and constantly feeling unheard.

What hurt even more was how my family reacted afterward. My dad got angry again and threatened me to move out, while my mom focused more on my reaction and tone than on why I got pushed to that point. They also blamed my hormones and acted like I was making a huge deal out of things. Then the next day they all acted normal with each other, which made me feel really betrayed and alone, like I’m the only one carrying the emotional weight of everything that happened.

I know my reaction sounded harsh, and I’m not saying I handled everything perfectly, but I also feel like people only see the explosion and not the buildup that caused it. I think underneath all the anger, I just feel really hurt, emotionally unsafe, and disconnected from myself lately. It’s been affecting my confidence, my ability to feel happy, and even simple things like posting online or feeling comfortable around people.