u/intl-introvert

Hi, flying to tuguegarao city for the first time for work. Taxis as primary mode of transport going around — How available are they and can I spot them from the airport?

My MIL commented on how cruel it is not to let the help join us for dinner, at the dinner table.

I grew up with help and they never sat with us. They had their own dining table in the kitchen, and ate there together.

My husband and I live together with 2 maids. We don’t have children. We have 3 dogs. They’re well compensated, sleep in airconditioned rooms, and eat what we eat.

However, Ive always viewed dinner as an intimate moment where my husband and I can debrief at the end of each day because we both have very busy schedules. For this reason, like how I am used to growing up, I set up another backdoor dining table for the maids, and they eat there.

They serve our food, and they can eat anytime before or after service in their assigned dining table. My MIL is visiting and is used to the typical probinsya set up where maids are like families.

Whereas I come from an approach that they’re employees. This doesn’t mean inaalipusta ko sila, I just don’t and won’t view them as family. They get treated with respect, and have all the privileges of a paid employee.

She has brought it up 3 times now how this isn’t right. How opposite it is from how she does it.
I simply told her it’s not her house, she can have her maids at her dining table, but not at mine. Our dinner conversations (my husband and i) will remain private and among us only.

This response was viewed outright disrespectful. How dare I daw talk back to elders. There seems to be a huge family culture disconnect, because I grew up in a household that allowed me to have a voice, and that listened to my input. Whereas her family, demands authority through age, and you can’t question what the elders say. Just do how they do it. Which is absurd to me.

So,

1. ABYG for not letting the help dine with me and my husband at the dinner table?
2. ABYG for answering my MIL directly when she commented about how I run things in my house.

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