u/No-Match-

Okay, I know I’m already the gago here because yes, kabit ako. I knowingly got involved with a guy who had a girlfriend. I’m not denying that.

So basically, I’ve been seeing this guy for around 3 months. He has a girlfriend, and yes, we had sex multiple times while they were together. From what he told me, his girlfriend has been consistently cold to him for like 6 months already, so I guess their relationship was already bad even before I came into the picture.

Recently, I told him to break up with her. And yes, I fucked up even more because I blackmailed him. I told him that if he didn’t break up with her, I would send the video of us having sex to his girlfriend. He eventually broke up with her, but after that, he got extremely angry at me.

Now he keeps telling me na mahal niya daw ako, pero mas mahal niya yung girlfriend niya. They’re already broken up, but he still hopes na magkakabalikan sila. And he basically told me na he can’t choose me.

Obviously, that fucking hurts. Like, what was all of this for?

And now I’m having these very demonic thoughts na gusto ko i-message yung ex niya and tell her everything. Like, “Girl, your boyfriend cheated on you with me. We had sex multiple times while you were together.”

Part of me feels like she deserves to know, especially if they’re eventually going to get back together. I feel like she should know what actually happened before deciding whether she wants him back.

BUT… I know myself. I’m not doing this purely because I care about her or because I suddenly developed a moral compass. I’m hurt. I’m angry. And a part of me definitely wants him to suffer consequences for choosing her after everything that happened between us.

Also, I know I’m partly doing this because I’m fcking bitter that despite everything, he still wants her and not me.

So ABYG if I tell his ex-girlfriend that he cheated on her with me?

I already know I’m a gago for being the other woman. I’m not asking if I’m innocent because obviously I’m not. I just want to know if telling her the truth now would make me an even bigger gago, especially since my intentions are definitely not 100% pure.

Girl, be serious. You can’t treat someone like shit throughout the relationship and then suddenly pull out the “but you promised my siblings you wouldn’t leave me” card when he finally decides he’s had enough.

The guy was clearly putting in effort—sending long messages, trying to communicate, trying to keep the relationship going—while **you** were consistently cold and barely responding with more than a couple of words. And eventually, he got tired. That doesn’t make him a bad person. That makes him a person who reached his limit.

And yes, he promised that he wouldn’t leave you. But a promise made in a relationship is **not a free pass to mistreat someone indefinitely.** You don’t get to weaponize someone’s promise against them after repeatedly giving him reasons to walk away.
If someone spends months or years feeling ignored, emotionally neglected, or unwanted, you can’t suddenly guilt-trip him for finally choosing himself.
You don’t get to say, “But you promised you’d never leave me,” while conveniently ignoring **why he eventually wanted to leave in the first place.**

A promise deserves respect, sure. **But so does the person you made that promise to.**
You cannot keep hurting someone and then use their love and promises as a leash to make them stay.

And before anyone says I’m just taking sides: **the guy is my bestie, and I’ve seen how much effort he put into this relationship.** I’m not saying he was perfect, but watching him constantly try to communicate while getting the bare minimum in return is exhausting even from the outside.

**Don’t be selfish. Don’t guilt-trip him. Let him go.**