35 and getting divorced
Well shit .
Got married a couple years ago to my partner of 5 yrs . I know Im not supposed to feel like a failure but what else am I supposed to feel.
My partner and I are complete opposites. I think the biggest thing we had in common was our love to make each other laugh or just make people laugh in general. I am a 35 yr old F who was recently diagnosed with ADHD . I bring that up to say that I dont think this divorce could have been avoided. From the beginning of our relationship i was open and honest about my struggles with anxiety and social anxiety , he kind of blew it off almost as if he just didnt believe me . Then when it came time to go to social getherings and things like that he noticed i wasnt as fun as when its just himself and I, but he always spun it as if i was just being a jerk to his friends or family.
These past 5 yrs I changed a lot about myself to please him. Forcing myself into small talk with people he loved who had 0 interest in getting to know me. Being "on" during family gatherings even though inside i was dying to go get into dark room with less noise. Most things that he wanted me to change about myself im later realizing were linked to adhd.. and that makes me even more sad. None of this is to say that i didnt have any fault in this divorce but damn i feel like i shouldve seen this coming as someone who also is really good at pattern recognition ...
So now at 35 i start over . Again feeling misunderstood and alone.
sorry for all of the typos and poor grammar .