Relapsed after 4 months
I was feeling really good about myself as I was approaching 4 months without any weed. During these 4 months I went through some serious cravings multiple times. Not sure how I got over them but it felt great. Then I started getting caught up in everyday hustle and bustle and felt like this adult life is kind of too much at times. I do live in a very stressful city(NYC) and unfortunately can't move for the next three years. Anyways, I met with an old friend, he had gummies and the rest is history.
My observations: at first you feel great from this new perception..the high that comes over is like a wave that takes you on a journey. Everything seems quite different and you are fully present. But then you start craving more pleasure: music, food, cigarettes, beer, etc.
The pleasure wagon gets you strong and you want to stay on it. But then you start feeling like something is off. You are super aware of yourself and your surroundings and it's rather hard to just relax and not be high. You are on a trip. It's not like drinking one bottle of beer and then getting back to normal after 1-2 hours. Weed is strong and will keep you high for a while. But after sometime the novelty wears off and you are stuck in this weird mode...
Conclusion: was it worth it? Not really. It's something I want to come back to but when I do, I don't really enjoy it. Maybe I grew out of it? Maybe I am just looking for a way to escape this crazy life? I don't know but I wish I didn't relapse. I realized that I get much more joy from hiking, mountain biking, and just wandering in nature by myself. I wish I could escape the daily cares by embarking on some wild trip.. some adventure.. when I was a kid, all I did was hiking and playing games outside with my friends. That's all I needed back then.