u/JHLM2026

It will be 10 weeks tomorrow since we found out our beautiful girl was sick with hydrops and it was also the same day that she passed away. I feel I’m struggling more now than at the beginning, like it’s now just hitting me the finality of everything that no matter how many trinkets I buy or how many letters I write to her she’s not coming back and it’s not going to change. It’s destroying me. I don’t want to be here…not in a way where I would ever harm myself, I would never do that but in a ‘what the f is the point’ type way, I feel like I’ll never be properly happy again. I’ve started therapy (I’ve only had two sessions) but has anyone any recommendations for anything else that helped them?

I’m also obsessed with becoming pregnant again, I currently have my second period postpartum and we tried this month…I can’t help but feel I would cope better if I were pregnant (I’m very aware that will come with its own set of challenges).

Lastly, am I alone in becoming obsessed with my partner? I’m usually a very independent person and I have lots of friends but I feel like I could cut everyone off and just be with him all day everyday which I’m aware isn’t healthy.

Basically a rant/looking for anyone who relates to any of these things! I’m so sorry we’re all here.

I’m only 6 weeks out and everyday without fail I cry hysterically ..generally when getting into bed or getting up in the morning, I miss my girl so much. My issue however is that during the day I seem to be able to ‘hold it together’ for the most part, particularly over the last 10 days or so..I’ve laughed and ‘enjoyed’ some activities (as much as I could).Immediately after these moments I find myself in terrible form or cry, because how can I possibly ‘enjoy’ anything when my girl is gone? Is it normal to feel like this? Is it normal to still laugh at things in the middle of all this? It’s making me feel like i’m a horrible person for these moments of ‘normality’

My daughter was stillborn 6 weeks ago at 26 weeks ..my pregnancy was perfect until it wasnt. My partner and I have come on a ‘break’ with my parents for a few weeks to spend some time being somewhere people won’t look at us with sad faces, we chose florida as its generally our happy place. The last week has been lighter in that I’ve had extended periods throughout each day where I could function and not cry. We brought our daughter with us in many ways..photos, a diary, teddy etc but we also brought some of her ashes in a necklace. My dream was always to take her to disney and let her live her best life. Today I went to Magic Kingdom with a necklace full of ashes and bawled my face off, I wanted to do it for her..to ‘take her’ in the only way I can but it was horrendous, seeing other mums with their daughters taking photos and kissing them. We only stayed an hour and a half before I couldn’t take it any more, I feel like today as much as I wanted to do it for her has been a major setback for me and has opened the floodgates again in the most major of ways. I’m not really sure the purpose of the post..just to get my thoughts out really.

I am 5 weeks out from a 26 week stillbirth of my beautiful daughter. I love her more than I ever thought possible and miss her every single day. My partner and I have come on a ‘vacation’ with my parents to our favourite place in the world. It’s only day 2 and it has been extremely hard but also ‘nice’. I have brought some of my daughters things with us..a picture for my nightstand, my journal that I write to her in, a teddy with her name and her ashes in a necklace. She is with us in every way she possibly can be. I’ve already had moments of heartbreak..saying her name to get a personalised ornament made had me in floods of tears, seeing other women holding their little girls and kissing them/laughing with them but i’ve also had moments of ‘niceness’ I’ve laughed and I’ve spent a large part of the first day talking about everyday things. I feel like it’s too soon and I shouldn’t be able to enjoy anything at all but I’m having. parts of the day where it’s like my body closes off to grief and lets me focus on other things and live a ‘normal life’ for an hour or so at a time followed by intense guilt and big waves of grief. Basically has anyone else experienced this? I guess I’m looking for reassurance that I’m not a monster for being able to find some light moments this early on.