u/JMRmue

My brother has been drinking excessively, I mean excessively, for the last few years. He had a girlfriend who partied hard with him and they’d get twisted regularly. However, she soon turned out to be abusive and we had to emergency move him out in the middle of the night. His drinking absolutely derailed from then.

Since then, he rotted in our mother’s spare bedroom for months. Wouldn’t get a job. Was overly aggressive and considerably violent. Would lie about drinking. Would find multiple, multiple bottles in the room(on several occasions). It started becoming medical and he would spent days in the ER. One time, it was serious. He stopped answering and we noticed him downtown via location app. Mom asked me to find him. He was outside so that was easy. I confronted him to bring him home and he was talking to a girl who was (conveniently) taking psych courses and studying substance abuse. But, that was all obviously emotional for him and he cracked as soon as he saw me. He was belligerent. The girl was very helpful in telling me what happened and how much he drank(you don’t even wanna know). He the became violent, screaming, throwing a tantrum and crying on the road. College kids were pointing and laughing as they walked by. The girl was a sweetheart and ushered prying eyes along. We were all there in the little private rooms of the ER being spoken to about the situation. It seemed to wake him up a little the day after.

He spent a couple days in the hospital and then was sent to rehab. He didn’t want to be there. I bought him snacks and brought my favorite books(that were never returned). He refused to believe he was on the same level as ‘those people’. He ended up checking himself out a couple weeks in although we decided on him being there for a month(was a compromise). Our mother co-signed on a new car for him because he refused to take his in and it quit on him a bit prior. She connected with someone in real estate to find him an apartment. His money was going down the drain but he wouldn’t confess why. But currently “owes” me several hundred dollars. I don’t mind buying dinner or groceries for him occasionally without being paid back but I have, undoubtedly, reason to believe the money wasn’t used for that.. He constantly lied about going to AA and/or claiming it wasn’t helpful so he didn’t need to go.

Anyhow, finally moved out after almost a year into an apartment, I went with to tour a few with him and was constantly sending other options and I paid application fees. I paid the deposit when he got the one. He got another girlfriend and did pretty well for a couple weeks. However, he’s stopped going to work(for some reason? Claims he has no money for his bills? His girlfriend was paying them but she’s barely 18 and lives with her parents still.) I tried to help him with applying to state benefits, EBT, etc but he legally makes decent enough money to not qualify. So, why wasn’t he accepted? Won’t tell me. I’m still being asked for money during this, mind you.

Now, he has an eviction hearing. He hasn’t told me. I heard through our mom who has co-signed on everything and she is stressed out because she’s about to be out several thousand due to paying his car payments and insurance so it doesn’t hurt her credit. He’s asked if I have space for his stuff. I asked why, didn’t get a response. We see his location(mom forced an ultimatum) and he’s at the liquor store almost daily..

Like, when do I just completely cut ties? He’s my little brother and he’s all I’ve ever had. But I can’t just watch this. But I also refuse to be taken advantage of. But I also refuse to just watch this happen. This has been a mess to try to write but I watched what alcoholism did to our father as children and this is even worse.
I’m 27F. My brother is 23M, if that’s necessary for whatever reason.