We have been married for several years and still have no kids. My husband says he’s fine either way and that children aren’t as important as me, but I’ve always wanted to have a child—at least one.
When we first got married, my health wasn’t good. I asked him to spend some time with me or help me find a doctor who could figure out what was wrong. He knew I wasn’t sleeping, knew I was completely burned out from my previous job, and knew I was struggling. He applied for medical leave on my behalf, but when I didn’t want to return to that job, he became afraid that I would rely on him financially. Because of that fear, I pushed myself to go back even though I wasn’t recovered, and it damaged my health again. Eventually, the experience became unbearable and I quit. But the stress stayed with me—I could barely sleep for months.
During that time, I asked him to take a few days off just to be with me. He didn’t take even one day. I still cooked every single day, even though sometimes I had to rest after making just one dish.
A couple months later, I found another job. The benefits were good, but the work was boring and I had no passion for it. My husband still encouraged me to stay. For the next few years, I worked through constant body pain while trying to learn how to cook. He never showed motivation to learn or help, even though he knew I wasn’t feeling well.
I saw many doctors, but none helped until recently, when I finally found someone who used gentle herbal medicine instead of harsh treatments. My health has improved a lot since then.
I’ve told my husband many times that I want a child. He keeps saying he’s okay even if we never have kids. Last year, I pushed for IVF, but it didn’t succeed. Now I’m waiting for the result of another transfer. I’m on all the IVF medications, but I don’t feel any symptoms, and I’m scared this round will fail too.
Tl;dr: any advice on our current marriage?