u/JackKirby22

Part 1

Part 2

Content warnings: graphic violence, familial murder, implied violence toward a child, delusional thinking/psychosis, extremist ideology, suicide, and disturbing themes.

It was not clean. I'm running down the sidewalk now. When I emerged from the bathroom something was wrong. The bright interior was dimmer, the paint more faded, and the logos all read Hyde's. I stumbled into the parking lot before the yelling started and saw none of the signs that had guided me here. I couldn't fathom what I'd done, who I'd become. I puked for the first time since this began, but then I saw it. A vibrant aureolin ring around the roof of the Scor Association building, the tallest in the city. Of course the fourth key had worked, that just left me.

Sirens wail behind me. The gargoyles on the street have all turned their eyes on me. I'm beset on all sides, but this is my crusade and I will see it through. These creatures disgust me. The men behave like brutes. The women all grab at me in desperation. Not one of them will lay eyes on my halls in Carcosa. I force my way through these beasts to the door of the tower. It's desolate, so sneaking into the stairwell is simple.

Not quite as simple as I thought. A group of police are chasing me up. They will not stop me. I run past a fire extinguisher. The officers begin to sputter and choke as they run headlong into the spray. I continue my ascent unabated. I remember a day. I was seven or eight and we drove all the way to Houston. Typically a city that large and crowded would throw me into one of my fits. My palms would sweat, my heart would pound, and I'd stop breathing, certain I was facing imminent death. This time was different though. We were going to NASA and nothing could dampen my spirit. My parents and I would watch old episodes of Cosmos together at least twice a week. We were a space family and we were finally going to NASA. We must have spent hours there. We had dinner after, followed by ice cream. It was the only perfect day I ever had.

A part of me wishes I didn't have to do what I did, but I had no other choice. This life is not meant for me. I waste no time on what-ifs. There are so many things that could have kept me from this point but they didn't, and here I am. Theres a world where I'm a barbarian like the rest of them but it is not this one. Here I am resolute. Here I've been shown truth and know precisely what waits. I reach the top of the stairs and barrel through the door to the roof. I run to the edge, police filing out with their guns drawn. They order me to stop. I feel the pull of Carcosa, closer than ever, at the base of my spine and leap.

Part 1

Content warnings: graphic violence, familial murder, implied violence toward a child, delusional thinking/psychosis, extremist ideology, suicide, and disturbing themes.

The city is madness. Vehicles are slowed to a crawl in gridlock, people on foot flood the sidewalks and push past each other in a rush toward nothingness. Nobody pays me any attention and I wonder why. For a moment rage threatens to swallow me. Do none of them know the truth? Of course I know they don't, so few ever have. A woman brushes past me with murmured apology and I recoil at her touch. It was only a moment but I can feel the vileness seeping into my bones. Calm returns in a wave when I see a posterboard sign in a second story window declaring "The Kingdom Awaits". The signposts are becoming more frequent, assuaging any concern I had about missing the path.

I always hated coming here as a child. The sights and sounds would overwhelm me and I'd begin to weep. The first two keys would attempt to comfort me and, failing that, would shower me with gifts. Candy, toys, and books were in steady supply, but all I ever wished was to break free of the city's cancerous miasma and return home where I was myself. Only in solitude did I feel truly me. The moment another's eye fell on me I was performing. Mimicry of their emotions was practiced at first but came more naturally over time. I thought myself becoming more like them, normal in a sense, but that was before. I know now that I was going through the same process as everyone else. I was being rewritten into another homogeneous line of code in the programming. I tried for a long time not to judge others for being blind to it, but if I could wake up why couldn't they? I wrongly believed that I wasn't special, just someone that had found the right information at the right time. I realize now that such humility is a weakness.

A car horn blares and wakes me from my indulgent reminiscing. It has nearly collided with me and the driver, a dark-skinned obese man emblematic of the city's decay, is shouting at me in a language I don't care to interpret. I hope to see confirmation he is the key, but no such luck. I cross to the other side of the street and am greeted by another sign, an advertisment for a chewing gum in bright candlelight yellow. Yet more assurances. I see them all over now, a man in a canary shirt, buildings with yellow trim and signage, two blonde women having an assuredly vapid cinversation at a cafe table. I am wholly anointed in promise.

It is at this moment of exuberence that I see the Hyades station. Brightly painted in sunshine and white, the station is alive and functioning. I make haste towards the entrance. The glass door pulls open with ease and a chime goes off announcing my arrival. A gruff looking man glances up from behind the counter and offers a cheerful greeting. Unsure of his allegiance I approach and ask if he knows where the fourth key may be found, but he is only confused. No matter, I'll simply play the role of indecisive customer until the key shows itself.

I was ten years old when I met the third key. He'd moved to our small town after his father got a job as principal at our school. This was not to his benefit. The ostracization was near immediate and unwavering. This left him with one option, me. I was cold at first, but...I wasn't as strong as I am now. We became inseperable, and stayed that way for many years until his grandmother died. She had a large farmhouse in some idyllic countryside and his family was going to be spending the summer there selling things off. In those months our contact became strained. I was spending my time on forums and opening my mind. He was making friends. He'd accuse me of acting...off. I was only trying to explain to him the truths I had uncovered. I so desperately wanted him to understand my side of things. One night the first and second key recieved a call from his parents, and I was informed I was not to contact him under any circumstances. He kept his distance from me after that. I had to promise him beer to just to get him to the trainyard...

It's happening. When the first and second key revealed themselves I felt the air tense around me, and saw the aura of Carcosa surround my parents. I knew what must come next. It came again when I saw my former friend taking out his trash. Now, wiping away tears, I see a young boy hop out of a vehicle. He is shimmering like the sun. I'm so close. He comes in with his mother, his aura overwhelming. I continue to "peruse" but keep an eye on them as often as possible. While looking at a row of sports drinks the boy announces he needs to use the restroom. The clerk points him in the right direction and the mother goes back to browsing. I must follow the light, like a moth to the flame.

Content warnings: graphic violence, familial murder, delusional thinking/psychosis, extremist ideology, and disturbing themes.

The stone created a space for itself at the moment of impact, a space that fit its rough edges so perfectly one may think there was never any bone or brain matter previously occupying it. The hand that held the stone, the third key, sunk in with it and came away smattered in the grime of what was once my friend. I felt the change almost immediately. Any fondness I'd had for this now-nothing, a doorway stepped through, had faded.

The tide of crimson ebbed from the wound and slowly settled into the baking gravel, raising a stench of copper and death. I was to leave the body where it lie. You bury a person, this was only a thing. I looked to my left and painted on the side of one of the rusted out train cars was the symbol, perfectly aureolin, letting me know I was where I was meant to be. That was the swirl that had awoken me to true purpose, my new northern star. I feel the pull of Carcosa, even lightyears away, at the base of my spine and turn to the city. There the final two doors wait.

The walk along the tracks gives me opportunity to let my mind wander. Who will it be? A father working hard to provide? A mother scolding her child? I do hope it's a woman. The first three keys were easily identified. Those who had been my parents were obvious, the aura of Carcosa glowed around them. I had hoped the mess would please Lord Hastur. Mother had wept when she awoke. Father had to be first, not only to stave off any attempt at defense, but because Hastur would want mother to be slow. She fought against the rope, screamed her throat raw, begged. None of it touched the soul she was so certain I had. There were flashes, a kiss on the forehead, warm soup when ill, pride at trivial accomplishments, but none of them overpowered what I knew to be true now. The Yellow Sign burned in me and it was time I took my rightful place. I see a bilboard that reads CARCOSA AWAITS and am hastened by the sign. Finally the world has become simple.

I thought back to when I first encountered the Yellow Sign. I had already been enlightened by smaller truths. Men of esteem and influence had been my algorithmic consumption for sometime. I had long felt...wrong, unable to fit in with peers. Through these men I had seen the light. I had been coddled into servitude, as had my father and many more like him. He was too weak to wake up. These initial discoveries led to a search for deeper truths. The more I uncovered the angrier I became, until the moment I saw it. Deep in a forum impossible to find unless your mind had already been open I saw the Yellow Sign, and knew at once how all the pieces fit together.

A jonquil car drives past blaring pop music. For a moment I hope that it holds the fourth key, but it seems a soul is spared. I'm nearing the outskirts of the city. A gas station called Hyades looms to my left seemingly abandoned and gives me pause. Could this be a sign that I missed the key somewhere? I was certain it'd be in the city. I make way to the storefront. Looking in windows does little to illuminate. I try the door but it is more than locked, it's welded shut. I want to scream, I want to pound my fists until the glass shatters beneath them, but calm returns to me again when I notice the sign taped on the inside of the door. In its corner is the swirling confirmation I was looking for. The sign itself announces the store has moved and lists an address much further into the city. I know where the fourth key is.

Part 1 of 3

The stone created a space for itself at the moment of impact, a space that fit its rough edges so perfectly one may think there was never any bone or brain matter previously occupying it. The hand that held the stone, the third key, sunk in with it and came away smattered in the grime of what was once my friend. I felt the change almost immediately. Any fondness I'd had for this now-nothing, a doorway stepped through, had faded.

The tide of crimson ebbed from the wound and slowly settled into the baking gravel, raising a stench of copper and death. I was to leave the body where it lie. You bury a person, this was only a thing. I looked to my left and painted on the side of one of the rusted out train cars was the symbol, perfectly aureolin, letting me know I was where I was meant to be. That was the swirl that had awoken me to true purpose, my new northern star. I feel the pull of Carcosa, even lightyears away, at the base of my spine and turn to the city. There the final two doors wait.

The walk along the tracks gives me opportunity to let my mind wander. Who will it be? A father working hard to provide? A mother scolding her child? I do hope it's a woman. The first three keys were easily identified. Those who had been my parents were obvious, the aura of Carcosa glowed around them. I had hoped the mess would please Lord Hastur. Mother had wept when she awoke. Father had to be first, not only to stave off any attempt at defense, but because Hastur would want mother to be slow. She fought against the rope, screamed her throat raw, begged. None of it touched the soul she was so certain I had. There were flashes, a kiss on the forehead, warm soup when ill, pride at trivial accomplishments, but none of them overpowered what I knew to be true now. The Yellow Sign burned in me and it was time I took my rightful place. I see a bilboard that reads CARCOSA AWAITS and am hastened by the sign. Finally the world has become simple.

I thought back to when I first encountered the Yellow Sign. I had already been enlightened by smaller truths. Men of esteem and influence had been my algorithmic consumption for sometime. I had long felt...wrong, unable to fit in with peers. Through these men I had seen the light. I had been coddled into servitude, as had my father and many more like him. He was too weak to wake up. These initial discoveries led to a search for deeper truths. The more I uncovered the angrier I became, until the moment I saw it. Deep in a forum impossible to find unless your mind had already been open I saw the Yellow Sign, and knew at once how all the pieces fit together.

A jonquil car drives past blaring pop music. For a moment I hope that it holds the fourth key, but it seems a soul is spared. I'm nearing the outskirts of the city. A gas station called Hyades looms to my left seemingly abandoned and gives me pause. Could this be a sign that I missed the key somewhere? I was certain it'd be in the city. I make way to the storefront. Looking in windows does little to illuminate. I try the door but it is more than locked, it's welded shut. I want to scream, I want to pound my fists until the glass shatters beneath them, but calm returns to me again when I notice the sign taped on the inside of the door. In its corner is the swirling confirmation I was looking for. The sign itself announces the store has moved and lists an address much further into the city. I know where the fourth key is.