He (35M) cheated on me (32F) once while drunk with coworker and our wedding is later this year. How shall I proceed forward?
For context, I have never written on Reddit before but I am trying to gain some perspective. I have been with my partner for 5 years, engaged for 7 months with a planned wedding at the end of the year (deposits, save the dates sent, large families and friends invited etc). We were very excited to start this chapter together. We were (are?) in a very loving relationship, with open communication, great social circles of communities we love, travel together, live together for 2 years, and overall have, what I consider, a very successful relationship. We are both successful in our careers, love to go out and socialize, but also stay in. I have never been happier and more confident in a partner before. I felt safe with him. I was never once worried about infidelity. He would leave for a night out, and never did I question who he was with or what he was doing as he never flirted with girls when we were out, has never had suspicious behavior, is so respectable with my girl-friends, is always transparent, and it has never crossed my mind as he was always the most standup person in my opinion. Never shady, no behavior of lying, nothing that ever worried me when we had separate social plans. It was honestly something I loved about our relationship, we could just go out with our different friend groups or social plans and never worry about one another. Generally, textbook secure relationship. One night, he gets "blackout drunk" as he called it, lost his work bag and keys and stayed out all night, which is very unusual for him. I was planning on talking to him about that behavior when he came up but figured I better let him sleep it off and talk to him in the evening. That evening after his night out, he confesses to me he was at a coworker happy out, drank too much, continued the night with a female coworker, went home with her and slept with her. He had very little recollection of how he got there but was sure of the infidelity. He told me all the details, was super apologetic, remorseful, transparent. He told me I could call her if I wished, look through my phone, and immediately found us a couples therapist. I have been absolutely blindsided, distraught, and my world has been turned upside down. To say I feel traumatized from this is an understatement. Now, we are trying to put the pieces back together to see if this is salvage-able. He has gone to therapy multiple times a week, is respecting my boundaries of leaving our shared home for the meantime, answering any questions or requests I have, and wishes to work things out. I am struggling with understanding if this can be something we work through. Will I regret not being 100% confident about our relationship, if I were to proceed with marrying him? Is it reckless to think I still want to be with him, and this is not his character but a wildly messed up mistake that only happens once? Through therapy, we are learning of his traumas that led him to be reckless with his drinking that night. Is this something I can decide in a matter of months? Looking for advice...