Emotional Affair and Missed Kiss
Will probably get judged for this but if we could focus on what happened (or didn’t) itself instead of the circumstances that would be appreciated. My coworker and I have been having what has kind of become an emotional affair for the past couple of years. She has been engaged for almost a year and is getting married in October and I am single. It was largely an unspoken thing that we were both aware of and we’ve become incredibly close over the past couple of years, but there has very clearly been sexual tension and almost every night we go out with coworkers we end up alone at the end of the night just talking for hours.
Recently she told me she didn’t feel as excited for the wedding as she feels she should and she doesn’t feel the way for her fiance that she sees other couples feel. That same night I ended up explicitly telling her I had strong feelings for her and she fully reciprocated - the feelings were obviously not subtle on either of our parts and we very much had formed a deep connection.
A few nights later I was driving her home from a friends and the conversation reopened. We both doubled down on our feelings for each other and she heavily began considering leaving the engagement to the point I was confident she was going to call it off. At the end of the night as I was dropping her off she said “I shouldn’t be saying this but I wish we could kiss right now” and was looking up at me with lovey eyes. I told her we shouldn’t let it start like that and gave her a hug instead.
At the end of the next day she told me she needed time to think and we didn’t talk for a couple weeks. When we did, she had ultimately decided to go through with the engagement. She had previously stated how hard it would be to leave and that she felt an overwhelming amount of social pressure to go through with it.
My question is, how much do you think it would have moved the needle had I kissed her? That image of her looking at me like that is haunting me. Obviously I know this was not a completely moral situation but I hope people can understand that it was complicated and we were both operating as humans.