u/JadedHell

I'm really sick and tomorrow I must work so I can chip in and next weekend, I gotta continue volunteering at the animal shelter so I can build up a job resume for a future part time job and to get disability.

I'm 23 and autistic with ADHD and anxiety and bipolar depressive and bipolar mania and tic disorder.

To be honest I need it so I can at least be able to financially still function more easily and honestly just function easier in society too.

Though I got sick for some reason with a stuffy nose for 3 days when it started after my ear inflammation and truthfully, I must go to work to pay the bills and will, I won't give up on chipping in for family at home.

Though I've been feeling a stuffy nose, I've been more confident and more determined after coming outta a behavioral health hospital as a former patient, probably 2 or 1 week ago as I got enough faith to volunteer and work is necessary too.

I am sick and my throat is sore and not coughing anymore but I still feel like crap but go to work for my uncle's company tomorrow as a janitor, wish me luck.

I'm really sick and tomorrow I must work so I can chip in and next weekend, I gotta continue volunteering at the animal shelter so I can build up a job resume for a future part time job and to get disability.

I'm 23 and autistic with ADHD and anxiety and bipolar depressive and bipolar mania and tic disorder.

To be honest I need it so I can at least be able to financially still function more easily and honestly just function easier in society too.

Though I got sick for some reason with a stuffy nose for 3 days when it started after my ear inflammation and truthfully, I must go to work to pay the bills and will, I won't give up on chipping in for family at home.

Though I've been feeling a stuffy nose, I've been more confident and more determined after coming outta a behavioral health hospital as a former patient, probably 2 or 1 week ago as I got enough faith to volunteer and work is necessary too.

I am sick and my throat is sore and not coughing anymore but I still feel like crap but go to work for my uncle's company tomorrow as a janitor, wish me luck.

I saw a spider web and roaches at home and punched it gently and next thing I know it is broken and more of a tap than a punch and broke it, need some help to hold back properly on catching these bugs with my fist.

it's not about erasing who you are, it's about shedding the lies you told yourself to survive.

Repentance is the act of stripping away the masks.

The sinner believes they are their sins.

The saint believes they are their virtues.

Both are clinging to shadows.

Repentance is the moment you realize you are neither.

If it's silent for a minute, they mean please continue.

Here's on thing I do, if there are crazies why not I fart so I did for almost the whole time and I need to due to the food making me gassy until the have end of my stay I took anti gas meds and played lots of basketball anyways and hooped it a couple times relaxing myself and body to the point ot gassy stuff all over my body and not butt only and yeah that's also why I farted until a few days until being discharged close to my second week.

I put my balls on things everyday and it's because of the bum bum song by tom green that I put my bum on the walls and fridge and tables everyday in my house.

When I was a child I believed bullying made me unbulliable and damn was I wrong.

Truthfully I remember telling kids in school I wish their parents died in 9/11 and now that I think about it was a flight or flight response of the loneliness and all the things if being special and special needs which is now gone at 20 years old but now 23 years old and very intelligent which many claim.

I remember being told by my mom and growing up gifted and not being able to speak but the only thing I don't remember is banging my head on the wall and regressing back to simple words like ball.

Later I always got violent with my teachers because I had no male role model and truthfully I heard them say retard or retarded or people in the background but never understood what it meant until later growing up and understood and being forced to remember snippets of it.

I already been statutorily raped at 14 years old by a friend and truthfully, lots of betrayal and negligence happened when I was a kid that my mom was too crazy to remember at an age when I was a toddler that she pulled over by my gramps and grams house to throw my brother outta the car as a scare tactic as I cried and wanted my brother back inside and him and I had a weird bond but no more.

He's an embarrassment to me but I still love him but truthfully I already ended up in a behavioral health in the south and already came out for trying to take my life at my job place.

Failed obviously but tried to do it with something I wouldn't pussy out of, but don't want to explain or feel comfortable answering.

And honestly my brother and I growing up threatened each other with knives but no more.

It was all a fever dream but occasionally feels funny that I'm this pathetic but still proud I changed but still regret hitting a female tech blocking me from fighting two male patients as a patient myself as she reminded me of my moms face and a techs face but now feels like a blur to be honest.

2 weeks ago, yet I still have the same flashbacks of being strapped to a chair in the state hospital and being violent yet I feel like I had blood on my hands for wishing them dead and saying slurs at the time as a 12 year old in the state hospital learning and copying the words on TV like the boondocks cause backthen it was cool but now isn't but their word I honor.

Hated myself and everyone where I wanted to spit or puke due to those faces in life but never puked but more outta stress in the bathroom.

Life wasn't easy but I sure wasn't easy for them but instead chose to be selfish instead and not treat anyone like shit but only put my time over others even though I'm not a CEO or rich.

I did it anyways to an extent money doesn't make you rich but other things do definitely and its the lifestyle and how it's used.

It's a way I cope to be honest and more to not be spoiled but positive and care and no longer sacrifice myself over others anymore after all the suffering and "favors" I've done for my friend and regular favors I did for people.