u/Jaded_Ad2741

Moving back to the Spokane/Newport area end of this month and figured I’d put myself out there a little. I’m in my 40s, Army vet, work in project/program management, pretty laid back, and I’m trading suburbia for a few acres in the woods near the mountains.

I’m into good food, grilling, gaming, getting outdoors, and I’m looking forward to actually enjoying the property instead of just owning it. Would be nice to meet someone who’d enjoy a drink on the deck, a fire outside, exploring the area, or just hanging out without everything needing to be an event.

Not trying to force anything or speedrun a relationship. Just interested in meeting someone local and seeing if we click.

I’m 40 and started a new job a few months ago after spending over a decade at my previous company. On paper, it’s a great opportunity. The pay is good, I work from home, and my performance has been positive. My manager has told me I’m doing well, and I haven’t received any negative feedback.

The problem is… I dread almost every workday.
Sunday afternoons are filled with anxiety because I know Monday is coming. During the week I wake up at 2–4 AM thinking about work and can’t get back to sleep. Some days I sit at my desk feeling completely overwhelmed before I’ve even opened my email. By Friday afternoon I’m mentally exhausted, and the highlight of my week is simply being done.

What’s confusing is that this isn’t because I’m failing. I think it’s because the role requires me to constantly make decisions in areas where I don’t always feel like the expert. I’m expected to coordinate technical projects, review work from specialists, catch mistakes before they become expensive, and make judgment calls with incomplete information. Even when people tell me I’m doing a good job, I constantly worry that I missed something that will come back later. I know some of this is probably impostor syndrome, but it feels bigger than that.

Financially, I also feel stuck. I’m in the middle of buying a house, have other financial obligations, and walking away without another plan doesn’t feel responsible. At the same time, I’m worried about what this level of stress is doing to me long-term.

Has anyone else been in a situation where:
You were objectively succeeding, but mentally miserable?
The anxiety never really went away even after the first few months?
You eventually realized it was the job itself versus just needing more time?
If you did get through it, what actually helped? Therapy? Medication? A mindset shift? Better boundaries? Or did you eventually accept that the role simply wasn’t the right fit?

I’m not looking for someone to tell me to “just quit.” I’m more interested in hearing from people who’ve been in a similar situation and what ended up happening.

Thanks for reading.