Wanted to share my recent positive experience disclosing HSV2! I was so nervous and legit practicing what I was going to say in the mirror by myself and stuff… long story short it turned out not being a big deal at all. We had been on several dates and both had so much fun spending time together, I could tell it was going to become more physically intimate soon. I chose a time when we were just sitting on the couch at night talking about random stuff, and I basically said “since it’s pretty clear to me that this we’re going down this road, I want to let you know I have HSV. I’ve had it for several years at this point, I don’t have outbreaks but I still take medicine for it, I don’t know exactly where or when I got it, and it really doesn’t affect my life in any meaningful way. All things considered, it’s a very low risk of transmission, but it’s not zero. I didn’t get the opportunity to know beforehand, so I want to make sure you have that.”
He was so sweet about it, didn’t ask too many questions other than “which one is that again?” (lol) And I said “it’s herpes, a lot of people have it on their mouth in the form of cold sores, but I don’t have that… it’s the same thing but it’s just down there”, to which he responded “oh, ok! That’s what I thought. That’s not life threatening though, and it sounds like you manage it well. I like you so much, this doesn’t change that. I really appreciate and respect you for telling me though, and I’m sorry you didn’t have a choice and you had to go through all that. It must have been hard and confusing finding out.” He also said he doesn’t really care even if he does somehow end up with it, because he said “clearly it’s manageable, and to me it’s well worth the risk”. I told him if he has any questions he can totally ask them… all he asked was if he could still go down on me and I was like “of course” and he was like “oh good, thank god”. And that was it! It’s now been several weeks since this conversation and things are better than ever between us.
I just wanted to share because at times this diagnosis can feel so hopeless and isolating, but this is living proof that there are people out there who will love you for everything that you are, and your diagnosis will not change that for them. IMO, it only weeds out the ones who aren’t right for you anyway. Much love 🩷