r/HSVpositive

I’ve only disclosed to two people since having my first ghsv2 outbreak last summer. The first guy hard rejected me despite having strong feelings for me, and the other guy was totally okay with it since he also had herpes.

I’m currently seeing a guy that I really like and we’ve been heavy making out but haven’t done anything past that. I told him today that we can’t do anything else besides kissing until he gets tested and he asked why and I said “what if you have chlamydia or something” and he said “I wouldn’t have sex with a dirty girl”. I told him not to call people with std’s dirty and he apologized but I am really scared to disclose.

I really like him and I fear, based on his response, he won’t take it well. I was planning on disclosing after I show him my test results since I’m going to get tested with him but idk I don’t think I’m handling this well and I’m scared.

I was just diagnosed with HSV2. For people who have had it for a while, I'm curious if you don't think about it much anymore.

As the title mentions, I (F33) was diagnosed at 15 years old. I can’t remember much details about the assessment but I was never told whether it was HSV1 or 2. I’m assuming it’s 1 because my gf at the time had a cold sore. It’s been almost 14 years since I’ve had any symptoms. I recently got waxed right before starting my period and noticed the bumps yesterday. I almost confused them for ingrown hairs. Thankfully I was able to get meds via an online prescription site because none of my providers have availability until Tuesday with the holiday weekend. Slowly feeling better but man, this brought up so many painful memories being a kid getting diagnosed, having to hide it from my mom, and being shamed by my then gf.

I understand it’s possible to go many years without symptoms but it had been so long that I started second guessing my diagnosis and my providers never recommended the blood tests so I just never got it confirmed again. Anyone else experience several years without symptoms?

I wanna get retested because truthfully, I don’t believe I have herpes and yes, I’m probably in denial because my score was like an eight but i just can’t believe this shit 😭 It’s really ruining my mental

Hey guys. I’m, 34F, having a tough time today with my diagnosis. Can you all share some positive and optimistic stories or support? I’d really appreciate it.

Does anyone have like a routine way of disclosing when dating? Like do you wait until date #X? Do you wait until you know for sure you want a relationship?

Also how do you tell potential partners? I’ve read that it’s my job to educate them but I also can word vomit so I don’t want it to sound like I’m trying to convince them.

I might be overthinking it & to be fair I’m not planning on getting back into dating for awhile (just got out of a relationship). I have a lot of anxiety about disclosure when I do get back into it & I almost feel like I need a script.

Curious on how you go about disclosing and/or any advice

It’s been 6 years since i was diagnosed…. I thought I was at a fine part mentally but now that I’m interested in dating/having sexual relationships again….. I’ve been depressed and panicking all over again… way more often that I should. What type of therapy would I need cus I don’t think basic therapy will do it.

I just got diagnosed with GHSV-1 but am really confused about how it works. I had my first outbreak only in the genitals.

So since it was likely contracted through receiving oral in the genitals, isn't it also possible that I may also have it orally because I also kissed my partner during this same occurrence? Why would it transfer to the genitals but not to the mouth if each action happened within seconds of each other?

Everything I see online (and even my doctor) is saying that it is very unlikely that I have it in both locations, but it feels naive to me to assume that I only got it in one location because it showed a physical outbreak. Another thing throwing me off is that the virus doesnt typically show symptoms in more than 1 location at once, so what if I'm actually positive on both ends but one end was just more sensitive?

This is causing me stress as I worry about accidentally infecting others through kissing and such

I’ve (M) recently started dating a woman who is HSV-2 positive. I believe she’s had more than two years and I know that she takes a daily antiviral. Given that we practice safe sex with condoms what are the odds of her transmitting to me? What questions should I ask her? I believe she’s only ever had an outbreak once and at that time they recorded a high antibody count, suggesting that she had it for some time prior. She’s perfect in every way and this news has been really challenging to process. I appreciate everyone’s inputs.

So i just found out not even an hour ago that I was diagnosed with HSV2. I got a prescription sent to my pharmacy and was confused. Googled the script and realized what it was for so I checked my recent labs and bam, positive for herpes. I am fucking devastated. Extremely sick to my stomach. My ex and I split up 12 years ago due to him constantly cheating (this is where I believe I got it) and I was single until about 6 months ago. I met an amazing guy and had to tell him tonight. His answer was "ok". I dont know what to do. Sitting here sobbing and feeling like a total idiot. My doctor said it could have been dormant that long due to no sexual activity and now I have a flare up because of sexual activity. I just dont get it. I'm sorry this is all over. I'm just not in a good head space.

Got a lot of stressful things going on right now, but heading to a family function tomorrow with the beginnings of an ocular OB, stabbing eye pain, and lower tear duct OB beginning. I have so much to think about. But I just made myself a cup of tea, took a couple Ibuprofen, and I'm just going to sit and take a few deep breaths. There's nothing I can do. If it manifests into blurry vision or something more, I'll have to stop off at a clinic and hang out with all the people blowing off their fingers, then head to the family function. If not, I'll just go to the family function with some dots on my face. I'm 5 years away from being eligible for the shingles shot that won't do anything lol. I just have to push through. I'm here. I'm not alone. This is unfortunate. It's alright. I'm going to be alright. We're all going to be alright. It's going to be alright. ...yeah.

Sex is so painful now. I feel like I tear every single time in the same spot that I had the outbreak 9 months ago. Nothing helps. I’ve read things about post herpes neuropathy. Does anyone have any tips, tricks, or recommendations so I don’t dread having sex. It’s so depressing.

Well the title explains it.. I (F) have always tried to keep myself educated on std/sti’s and know it can be dormant, I tried to always be as careful as possible because I cared significantly about my health so this was devastating for me, my partner (M) and I have known each other for over 6 years, we have young children and have had an on and off relationship over the years, so yes we have been with other people. The one man I got with during our split over 4ish years ago confirmed he does not have hsv and was tested after our encounter.
My first outbreak was extremely painful per normal, I felt like I had the flu and ended up in the ER.
My partner and I were sexually active probably a few weeks or a week prior but he had no visible sores on his mouth. The only thing remotely close to what I now think could’ve potentially been is he showed me what I believed at the time as a singular decent size canker sore on the inside of the lip/gum area and to my knowledge i believed cold sores were on and around the lips.. He is adamant that it is not hsv, he believes it was from heavily smoking black and milds I guess that’s a possibility.. I’ve never gotten sores on the inside of my mouth from smoking, and i was prior to 30 days ago, a heavy marijuana smoker using tobacco products…
I chose to do a daily dose of valacyclovir and we have had sex multiple times after my diagnosis but he now wears a condom every time which I understand 100% but it does make me feel like he thinks i’m contagious all the time which has put a strain on my mental and I no longer have a sex drive.. I want to make it very clear though it is NOT because he’s wearing a condom, I want him to feel safe always.

My partner has been with multiple people during our on and offs over the years but to my knowledge he’s never had an outbreak.. We were together and living together from July-April of this year and broke up in April, I was diagnosed not long after in May, so he believes I slept with someone else in that short time after we broke up.. This is 100% false. I offered to pay for him to go get tested and he agreed at first to go together, and then backtracked and said he would rather go alone because it was his business…. I haven’t talked to anyone else about it because of the embarrassment so he’s the only one who knows and I haven’t received any support, it’s hard and I feel very alone with the entire thing and my heart breaks the person I love believes I would step out so soon after our split and accuse me of sleeping with someone else. My mind is all over the place so I apologize if this is sporadic.. any advice or kind words are appreciated, TIA!

do you think 3 months is pushing it? 2 months? dating around, people in your city know eachother and i want to make sure i get to know them before i disclose and they might tell people.😅 im also just not allowing myself to sleep with anyone im dating before a minimum of 1-2 months for emotional reasons (tired of hookup culture). i start to feel guilty as sometimes we’re seeing eachother pretty frequently or they might be spending a lot of money on me. or im meeting their friends! then at that point, they might invite me over, or we might get drunk, and it feels like i can’t do this while dating anymore because then that’s where they might bring up sex when im not ready to disclose yet you know? they say you should disclose before sexual contact, but what about just making out a lot and stuff? i was diagnosed 2 years ago so im still getting used to this.

i (30F) recently went to the doctor for a rash on my genitals. after a very unfortunate mix-up at the office, where they called me to tell me the results were negative, today i learned that no, in fact, the swab came back positive for HSV-1.

i am obviously doing a lot of freaking out and reading today. i've only had sex with one person in the past year, we were seeing each other for a couple of months but i broke it off with him a few weeks ago. unless it was laying dormant for forever, i assume it's likely he passed it to me while performing oral. (we both got tested for STIs before we started sleeping together unprotected, but i didn't realize STI tests don't usually test for herpes.)

do i tell him? how do i tell him? i'd never noticed any cold sores on his mouth or anything. i doubt he even knows he's positive, if he is positive. and what if he's not, and i got it somewhere else somehow?

my doctor (who i'm never going back to) gave me very little information about transmission. since my outbreak was genital rather than oral, does that still mean i can transmit it orally? is kissing off the table without disclosing to new partners?

any (kind) words of advice are appreciated.

was diagnosed with GHSV-1. I had contact then one minor outbreak only on my inception of the infection. At first, I was very distraught. I thought it was all over for me. But this sub actually gave me a peace of mind.

Since then, i’ve been going about my sexual life normally. Obviously disclosing and wearing protection. I am a 23 YO male, and engage with partners. They all didn’t really have a problem with it, except one, who i haven’t talked to since. But nobody I have been with since my inception has had any problems, meaning it hasn’t passed. Yes i’ve been careful and disclosed. But i still feel bad about it… like I am some sort of problem, but has anyone else only had one outbreak and that’s it? I mean I know i’m positive and I carry that with me. But it hasn’t altered my life in the ways I read on here sometimes. Let me know if i’m a piece of shit or if anyone else feels this way.

For those of you with GHSV2, what’s your stance on receiving oral? I’ve read that the chances of passing HSv2 from genitalia to mouth is extremely low. I’m not getting head with a condom on. That’s pointless and I’m not even gonna ask for that. But yeah what do yall think is it safe?

So I have OHSV1 and I’m a male. I went down on my ex when I didn’t have any symptoms, it was my first time being sexually active and I had done it before with her, but this time she got GHSV1. My cold sore came a day or two after I went down on her, so I didn’t know. So two questions, since I’m no longer dating her:

1. I fucked her raw after her symptoms dissipated, and I never got genital sores. How would I tell if I had GHS

V? Is it likely I have it??

2.

1. When do I tell future partners that I cannot go down on them because there’s a risk they might get it?

So I only went to get a blood test done because I had a bump pop up on my lip and I thought it was a clogged mucus gland because I’ve gotten that before from trauma caused by burning my lip. But this one was in a different area and two of them came up and I went to urgent care, but the girl told me don’t worry they don’t look like cold sores. They just look like blisters, but I went and did the blood test anyways cause my partner wanted to confirm before we did anything I got a positive value of >8. Maybe I’m in denial or maybe I’m just hoping that it’s really not herpes but could it be a false positive? I kind of wanna get retested just for my own sanity on the bright side my partner didn’t leave me and he said we’ll get to real together, but he is very very concerned for a transmission and I feel like he kinda wants me to get on antivirals, however, when the doctor explained my results, she literally just told me I can continue everything as normal so I don’t understand

My now ex-husband if 10 years cheated on me with multiple women and had an affair he left me for. When we first got together we got tested and were negative for anything. Recently we hadn't had sex in months and I was wondering if he didn't find me attractive anymore. He asked for a divorce and we had sex a couple of times before he left. The whole time he had been avoiding me he was cheating.
I found out a month after he left he had been sleeping around from one of the people he slept with, who was a friend of ours. He tested negative and I tested positive. He said it's my own fault and clearly I got it from before our marriage or cheated on him. I've never seen his results and I know he's lying. I was with one man before him and he was a virgin over a decade ago and I have never in my life cheated.

I wouldn't have guessed the person I trusted my life with would do this to me. It's only been a month since I found out and 3 guys have rejected me. One said he would have protected sex but no oral, and that's something I really like. I have never been promiscuous but after being emotionally and physically neglected for almost a year I wanted to get out there. I disclosed right away but I've since been told I should wait after the first couple of dates and when it feels right to say something before it gets intimate.

I feel humiliated and trapped since he's already in another relationship and she probably has it. He won't disclose to others because he is "negative". I'm not a bad person, unlike him, and I am always going to feel immense guilt if I don't say something. I have never had symptoms of any kind (I've had cold sores since I was a kid so that's nothing new). My doctor said that I have it in my blood system but never experienced any symptoms so it may just lay dormant forever. She did not recommend me taking medication unless I have an active infection because of the interactions with my other medications.

Any advice? Anyone else experience this? I'm so betrayed, hurt and I feel like I will never find anyone that accepts me. I've always been loyal, careful and honest. I have a date coming up with someone I actually am really excited about but I'm terrified. Should I just stop trying to date right now till I've had more time? I just don't know
:(