r/HSVpositive

For those new to this community, for those who have been here a while, for those struggling with this new reality.

I am going to offer you the best advice that has allowed me to be free and helped me land an amazing partner who loves me for who I am, even with Genital Herpes. I am successfully in a discordant relationship.

Let go, and forgive. Stop holding onto that resentment. Stop blaming yourself. Live your life. Be you, be free, be joyful! It is possible. This is not a death sentence. It is a skin condition that was transmitted sexually. It is what it is. You’re not dying, everything will be okay.

If you’re struggling with disclosure, and you’re scared, don’t be. Knowing I have herpes changed my life. It allowed me to accept reality for what it is, it taught me patience, and it is teaching me about intention.

Before disclosing, I showed people who I am, and I embrace myself, and I love me for me. I’m funny, I’m goofy, I’m me! Be you! Unapologetically. Let people see you for who you are. Who you attract deserves to see you, and they deserve building something with you and growing into something beautiful. You can’t rush that.

Timing is everything. Build the chemistry, build the trust, build the psychological safety. Once that’s there, find the proper time to share what you live with before you get intimate. I promise you, you sharing this is not the end of the world, and you will be surprised by their reaction.

When I disclosed, my partner held me and told me “It’s okay. You think I’m letting this end what it is we’re building. I want to be with you. We can figure this out together.” I love this woman so much.

I used to be so damn scared of this new reality. I was traumatized about not knowing I had herpes and how I unknowingly transmitted to my last partner. That experience was so damn traumatic and I felt like a monster. But I forgave myself, I let go of the resentment. I told myself that I am worthy of being loved because I love me, and someone will too.

You are more than a diagnosis, and be intentional with whom you invest time into. I promise you, the right person will love and accept you, not reject you. Stop focusing on lust, and starting working towards establishing love. It will all work out.

I’m just so sad right now . I was diagnosed 3 years ago through blood test I never had a swab but I’m positive I have it now because of my outbreaks but I got one outbreak in 2023 and haven’t had anything since until this year. I’ve had 3 outbreaks currently have one right now and all have been mild thankfully and I noticed it usually happens after a long session with my vibrator ( lol tmi ) but every outbreak has caused me to go into a depression and feel dirty all over again ughhhh would suppressive therapy help ? Or any vitamins or anything that’ll help reduce outbreaks that you guys recommend thank you !

Since January 2024 I’ve been carrying something emotionally that changed me more than people realize. What hurts the most isn’t even the diagnosis sometimes, it’s the shame people attach to it. The jokes, the “dirty” comments, the way people talk about others like they deserved it or asked for it. What a lot of people don’t know is this happened to me after my first time ever being intimate with someone. I trusted somebody I shouldn’t have trusted and my life changed after that. I’ve always struggled with insecurities and not fully loving myself, and honestly this experience made those feelings even worse. But at the same time, I also think my insecurities are part of what put me in that position in the first place because there were red flags I ignored that I probably wouldn’t ignore now. I’ve spent a long time crying about it, blaming myself, feeling embarrassed, and feeling like I got punished for something that hurt me too. Sometimes I still cry talking about it because I’m not fully healed from it yet. But I’m starting to realize a diagnosis does not make someone dirty, unlovable, or less human. It doesn’t tell somebody’s story. It doesn’t tell people what happened to them or how deeply they’ve struggled afterward. I’m still healing, but I wanted to say this for anybody else silently carrying the weight of stigma every day.

What does prodrome feel like for you? How long does it last before an outbreak? If you take valtrex at the first sign of prodrome, how quickly does it stop the symptoms?

I have not had any outbreaks that I’m aware of since my initial one 3 years ago (GHSV1) and I’m tired of over-analyzing every single sensation down there. The other day I had a slight burning/itching feeling that lasted for only a few minutes here and there but I’m 90% sure it was just from a hypertonic pelvic floor flare because it resolved almost immediately after doing some pelvic floor stretching exercises. It’s so hard to not freak out at any small sensation down there

31(M). I’ve had this for 7 years now. None of my disclosures have ended with the woman I was talking to still being interested in me.

Mentally, enough time has passed that I’ve accepted the fact I will most likely never have sex again, but I can’t seem to get my body to accept it.

Any tips?

I have GHSV1. I haven’t had a second outbreak that I know of. However one time I had some itching that was likely from a yeast infection (had white discharge too) and I took 1g valtrex just in case along with a fluconazole pill/external cream in case it was yeast and the itching stopped within 1-2 hours. Could valtrex really work that fast if it was prodrome?

I’m 27m, long story short I was intimate with someone I trusted and yeah. Started off feeling like I had the flu, migraines late at night, little pink thing on my lip, thought nothing of it. 3 days in throat feels like it’s got razor blades in it I maybe thought it was tonsillitis. Anyway that settles a bit, I think I’m getting better. Man was I wrong. My lips is fucked! Another comes through and the original pink one has got worse, they are so painful , the canker sores on my gum. My lips etc has been awful the last 4 days, now the last 2 days it’s just my gums in general and my teeth , the pain is excruciating, I can barely eat without my teeth feeling extra sensitive , I look ugly as hell. My lip is the size of a balloon from the swelling. Is this normal for a first outbreak, I got nothing down below it’s only on my face, could it be hsv 2 orally? But in general, for a first outbreak is this normal? Does it get better? How long did it take for you?
Thanks for reading much appreciated

I’ve heard people say that it can predict the flu and a cold, so I was wondering if it’s possible that it can predict an outbreak before it happens. Then you can start antivirals before you even have any symptoms. Has anyone given it a try or have one? I have been wanting to get one anyway so I’ll try it out and report back to you guys if it helps!

I recently disclosed my hsv2 positive status to someone I went on a date with. He said it’s really not a big deal but he’s never been tested for it. I asked him to get a general STD panel prior to us engaging in intimacy. I’m asymptomatic, as far as I know I’ve never had an outbreak. I don’t take antivirals but I have them if I choose to start taking them. If he doesn’t have any other STDs and wants to have unprotected sex, I would be okay with that. But is it wrong to have unprotected sex with someone if they are not worried about whether or not they get hsv2 but I know I have it?

I got my positive test and diagnosis a few hours ago and nothing is making sense. I have been seeing my girlfriend since February and she had reported feeling itchy spots after having sex with me. I was doing completely okay. We both got tested and it was negative. We are in an open relationship, and while I was travelling for an extended period of time she met and was intimate a woman who we later got to know was HSV2 positive. My girlfriend tells me no genital contact was made and I have no reason to think she’s lying. After I came back, we started having sex and she mentioned feeling itchy again and this time I noticed some painful red ‘tears’ on my foreskin. I thought these were friction burns and figured they’d subside on their own. So I did get tested (no swab) and everything came out negative. However the sores weren’t healing and getting increasingly painful, so I went in to see another doctor who did swabs and gave me antiviral medication. I got my positive results and I was absolutely not expecting it. I’m wondering if my partner lied to me. If she is negative and I’m positive, then did I have it before her and somehow it was activated? There’s just too many questions and I feel like I’m all over the place. She is currently feeling fine but I’ve asked her to get tested ASAP.

i’ve been diagnosed with hsv 2 for almost two months now. it has been really hard to process but groups like this, youtube, and sometimes tiktok make me feel less alone and i’m grateful for everyone who shares their stories and advice because it really does help.

the guy who passed hsv 2 to me denies it and calls me crazy because he used a condom so he thinks there’s no way it was him. i think that mindset is ignorant because condoms are not 100%. after my diagnosis i found a post about him on the tea app from 6 months ago where another girl said he has herpes. seeing that honestly confirmed everything for me and made me even more upset because i realized i was being gaslighted the whole time.

i only contacted him when i first found out and texted him one more time a week later but i haven’t since because i don’t want to make the situation worse or harass him. he’s not going to admit it so it feels pointless to keep texting. at this point i think he knows he has it but never got tested for it.

seeing him continue life like normal while i’ve had to process all of this has been hard. honestly all i wanted was accountability and an apology but i understand that may never happen so now i’m trying to focus on accepting myself and moving forward.

sn: i fully believe us with hsv deserve love, happiness, and normal lives. my issue is not hsv itself. my issue is infecting someone and then playing dumb afterward with no conscience. that part driving me insane.

This is very hard to write. I am in shock. This is apparently a test I wasn’t even supposed to have had because I’ve never had an outbreak at least not to my knowledge. I bought it as an add on on Jason health blood test.

My value is 10.80, which is quite high. I spoke to a dr who said if you’ve never had an outbreak you are not advised to take antivirals.

I understand my value is in positive territory and despite unreliability of test it is more likely positive.

I’m a very sexual person. This has me feeling absolutely crushed. The dr I spoke to (from justanswer) essentially said that more clarity is not possible.

I would write more here but I am in a deep state of shock and depression over this and could use someone to talk to whose situation is / was similar. I’m deeply sad because I had started to see someone with a fear of STDs that extends into being irrational because he would still be scared of getting it even though we have not done anything that could spread it (just using hands).

I’m so dejected I truly feel like my life is over.

This is very hard to write. I am in shock. This is apparently a test I wasn’t even supposed to have had because I’ve never had an outbreak at least not to my knowledge. I bought it as an add on on Jason health blood test.

My value for hsv 2 igg ab is 10.80, which is quite high. I spoke to a dr who said if you’ve never had an outbreak you are not advised to take antivirals.

I understand my value is in positive territory and despite unreliability of test it is more likely positive.

I’m a very sexual person. This has me feeling absolutely crushed. The dr I spoke to (from justanswer) essentially said that more clarity is not possible.

I would write more here but I am in a deep state of shock and depression over this and could use someone to talk to whose situation is / was similar. I’m deeply sad because I had started to see someone with a fear of STDs that extends into being irrational because he would still be scared of getting it even though we have not done anything that could spread it (just using hands).

I’m so dejected I truly feel like my life is over.

Stress is my biggest trigger! When I experience a stressful incident my body goes into horrible body wide flare. My sores are atypical more like blemishes or red blotches. The worst ones are like deep nodules on my neck, knees and even ankles. I have itch neck pain and irritation at neck at knee I get pain and same for other body parts. Has anyone else experienced a similar cascade affecting upper and lower body at same time? I get ear and jaw pain. Facials sores back of head sores and onward love to find anyone in the world with similar presentation

I was unknowingly infected by a man, he didn't disclose to me, so by him going down on me i caught herpes last year in January.

Later that year i met a man and we really liked eachother, lot of texting and dating and then came the talk, i told him i have GHSV-1, it's asymptomatic and he said it's okay and not a big deal, we planned long term. I told him everything i know and do to prevent spreading. Then he started fading slowly, he texted less and less and always came up with an excuse to not meet. Then he ghosted me.

And while i'm not sure that's the reason he ghosted, there could be a million reasons, but i can only relate it to the disclosure. It left a deep wound, i don't want to date anymore, i don't want to experience this again. Not sure how to move on from this fear he injected into me? If only he was honest it would have been so much easier.

Hey folks, I was diagnosed with gHSV2 quite unceremoniously in Oct of '24. I'm still trying to come to terms with it, but it's been a very slow process.

I have no idea when I was exposed (though I may have an idea) because my sores have only presented in/on my anus, so I thought it was just hemorrhoids, which is what I thought I had when I was diagnosed.

Does anyone else only present this way? Meaning, only having them show up on the anus and not elsewhere? Or did you present this way at one time and they spread? Body's are weird and I'm very curious. Also still learning as I go.

Also, side quest.... If you were also diagnosed and had previous disdain and avoided intimacy with those who had the virus, how were you able to turn it around for yourself post diagnosis? I literally don't even see myself having sex again and that's not the life I want to look forward to.

Please and thank you ❤️

Personally have overactive nerves after hsv2 outbreak. Post herpetic neuralgia/Post herpetic itch whatever you want to call it. I have been trying everything to calm and reset my nerve endings but nothing seems to be working

Here to ask if anyone who has or had the same thing has found relief and how? I’m desperate at this point.

I posted in r/women when i first found out yesterday. The amount of positivity was overwhelming. I am very grateful to everyone that commented. They really made me feel like it was going to be okay.

But the positivity was so overwhelming i felt like maybe they were just trying to cheer me up. Is it true? Can people really find people that are okay with the person they’re dating having herpes? Please PLEASE share some experiences if you have some. Its so hard to believe. Honestly after learning so much about it i wouldn’t care if it was the other way around. But i cant imagine it for me. Maybe its because i hate myself so much right now. Maybe it’s because i don’t completely trust men to be so understanding.

I have a lot of anxiety. And right now my anxiety is telling me you are gross no one will possibly love you or he okay with this. And i hate myself for believing myself but i cant help it.

Obviously I’m still grieving. Im 24 hrs post news.

Hi everyone, I’m 21F recently diagnosed with HSV 2. I usually shave, but I have not since my diagnosis. What hair removal method have you found useful? Is it better to trim rather than shave? I was thinking about waxing, but I’m not sure if it’ll cause an outbreak. It’s about to be summer time & I really don’t want a bush of hair downstairs lol 😭.

I 27M have went on a night out a week and a half ago and met a girl and at a strange situation made out with her. I did not go down on her although I did kiss her on lips and upper body foreplays. We did not have oral sex. I came to her as clean but she told me that she did have genital herpes and that it’s not a big deal as long as I did not go down on her. But since then I’ve been feeling very much worried about that incident, and if in any way it could give me mouth herpes.

I didn’t know anything about hsv1 until she mentioned it to me. She told me she never had cold sores and that she wasn’t on an outbreak when we made out. I haven’t had any cold sores but I had dry lips and itchy tongue with 2 pimples on two different sides in my mouth. Are they any symptoms for mouth herpes?

Appreciate any response thank you :)