Timing the disclosure for casual encounters
Hey y'all new to this community but not to HSV2.
Had it over 10 years now, got it early into dating a man who I ended up being married to for the last decade.
We are now separated and I'm finding myself needing to disclose for the first time in my life!
This weekend I went to a wedding. Saw a guy who had previously met at a party one time. Hit it off started dancing, vibes were vibing. He said let's get out of here, both of us were drunk but very interested in each other.
Once back at the hotel room, within maybe 3 minutes of being in the room suddenly got super overwhelmed with knowing that I needed to disclose. Just came out and said it, "this is the part where I tell you that I have herpes and hope that you're okay with that?"
His response was "you're just now telling me?"
And it made me think, I what point in the night would have been better? On the dance floor? As we were talking about getting into an Uber together? He probably would have said no then and just stayed with his friends, maybe I should have let him do that. Maybe a part of me was that if I disclosed closer to actually getting it on that I would get a yes. Amd i feel like shit for that.
I don't expect to date and get to know this man. And I totally understand that everybody does what they need to do for themselves. I just I'm rethinking the night and wondering if one night stands are just out of the question with HSV2?
I'm just at the point in time of my life where I'm hot and single, looking to just sleep around a bit with not much emotional attachment or investment into actually getting to know people. I just want to have some good fun but obviously be straight up.
For other people who are in my position, how do I do this? I don't really have a dating profile, I like to meet people in person. I'm super charismatic and sometimes things move really fast. I'm guessing the next time I should just disclose sooner before bringing somebody back to a room. I definitely felt like I put him in a position of pressure and I felt bad about that.
I've disclosed to two other people before who both said yes, one was in the heat of the moment and the other one was just earlier on in the night outside of the bedroom.
There's definitely a learning curve here. Advice needed.