To invite or not invite future MIL to my shower
For context, my future MIL and I never got on the right foot. The first time her and I were together alone (within a few weeks of me and my fiancé dating) She told me that she wished one of my fiancé's friends (who is a woman) dated. She would say "they would have been such a good couple." and "I don't know why they never dated," directly to my face. She said this to me so many times over the years that a few years ago I had to ask my fiancé to tell her to stop because it hurt my feelings so much.
Also, my fiancé's parents have been divorced for 28 years, she remarried 2 years after the divorce. I LOVE my fiancé's dad's side of the family. They're so easily to talk to and have always been so sweet and welcoming. They spoil me with love and I'm so grateful for them. Me and my fiancé recently found out that his mom and one of his dad's sister-in-laws still text from time to time. Even my fiancé thought that was odd because of the divorce and his dad passed away many years ago.
The first time we saw them after we got engaged, his mom and step dad said nothing to us. No congratulations, no "let me see the ring!" Nothing. (his step dad also made a gross comment about my fiancé's exes not only in front of me to get a rise out of me, but also my parents. it was during my fiancé's birthday celebration.
I want to invite his dad's side so bad. I love them. But she makes me feel unwanted. If I really don't invite her, I know they'll figure out a way to treat me worse than now. I'm just nervous to face it, I'm already always on edge with them because it's a guarantee his mom and step dad will say something offensive to me directly to my face.
What do I do? My concern is his mom finding out about the shower, and not being invited and all hell will break loose. I don't want her at my shower though because of the things she has said to me. Has anyone ever not invited their mean future MIL and everything was fine?
EDIT* my fiancé said to do what I feel is best and said I can really do whatever I want. he said it might be awkward, but I did say it's awkward when your mom tells me she wishes you dated someone else, and when your step dad brings up your ex girlfriends in front of me and my parents?? lol