My (23F) husband (22M) got angry with me this morning for not completing the laundry. I told him I had done some yesterday, he didn’t like that answer and went on a rant about how I’m a “fat lazy loser who doesn’t do anything.” He then proceeded to call me all sorts of names.
As I was getting up to leave the room because he was becoming so angry, he slammed me onto the bed, started slapping my body, and choked me for a few seconds multiple times. He even stuck his fingers in my ass, which hurt a lot. I tried to get up to leave again, but he did it all over and then spit in my face, which was disgusting and smelled terrible.
I froze as he continued insulting me and started packing a suitcase, saying he was done with me. I ended up stopping him because, even though my romantic feelings for him aren’t strong anymore, I still care about him.
I don’t know what to do. I know this isn’t okay, and I know I’m not the best wife, I have been lazy. I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety and have been unemployed for the past year (I’m starting a full-time job next week). He doesn’t carry the financial burden, as we split everything 50/50. I’ve been able to afford my portion using money I inherited. Still, I hardly do anything around the house beyond what’s necessary. I feel like all I’m good for is sex, and even that isn’t good because I’ve gained weight and he isn’t really attracted to me when I try to initiate.
My life is complete garbage and I have no one to blame but myself. I need to improve myself and figure out what to do about my marriage.
Note: We’ve been together for 3 years and married for 2.