u/Jagensleh

She was born like that, with deformed teeth, but nobody warned us. I started noticing she was getting thinner and more fragile, so I took her to the vet and everything was done properly. She had dental filing, sedation, she woke up, and they gave me medication for the infection she had due to a wound, painkillers, recovery supplements, and I was feeding her critical care. She passed away on 24/04. I still haven’t forgiven myself. In some way, I feel like I failed her. I went to buy some medications from her vet, which is 1 hour and 30 minutes from my house. When I came back, she was lying on the floor of her enclosure. I broke down crying completely, and everyone saw it. Even so, they went out partying and I stayed home alone, but I don’t judge them for that. A couple of days ago I had an argument. I’m being honest—I’m stressed and still in grief. I try to take care of my other guinea pig so she’s not alone, but sometimes it’s impossible because I also work and have my own responsibilities. However, she always has food and water, and she also has dental issues that I’m dealing with. She gets her critical care along with different types of hay in case she feels like eating, vegetables, etc. I was a bit late cleaning her cage, and that caused an argument. I was already cleaning it when my mother started saying things like “if you really loved them, you would have done this,” among other comments. I replied out of frustration: “And you, did you love her more?” To clarify, the guinea pigs weren’t originally mine. They were my sister’s whim. I used to have a dog at that time, who I wanted to bring from my home country to the country I currently live in, but unfortunately she passed away on 14/04 last year. They left the guinea pigs in my care because neither of them ever did anything for them and they neglected them. They didn’t even bother to learn about guinea pig care and were going to leave them living in a tiny cage. I gave them a dignified life, bought them a large enclosure, researched their care, and still I lost one. I’m still affected, regretful and sad. I feel guilty. That day my sister started saying she did things too (recently the remaining guinea pig had gas, and all she did was give her massages). She said she wouldn’t do it again and would just let her die so I would feel guilty. She also said my other guinea pig’s death was my fault, and that she hoped I would “eat my guilt” and feel bad. I stayed silent taking all the verbal attack because I knew responding would make it worse, but she kept screaming louder and louder. At some point I snapped and started insulting her, calling her stupid, idiot, etc. She got angry and called my mother, who had obviously heard everything my sister had said before but didn’t intervene. But when I started insulting her, my mother sided with her. I tried to explain myself through tears, but she only defended my sister and told me that the death was probably my fault, and that she doesn’t care about the money I spent at the vet, that I hadn’t done anything for them. That honestly broke something in me that I don’t think can be repaired. I yelled a few more things and then left. I went to the countryside because I needed to scream and cry. I stayed out for a few hours and came back at night. I’ve been out of the house for a couple of days now, only coming back when my mother isn’t there. Luckily, work also distracts me. Sorry for venting here, but I don’t have anywhere else. Thank you to anyone who reads this.