I’m done being a work wife!!
Okay so, I [20F] started a job a while back, and within the same week I was hired, so was my coworker [26M] who we’ll call Jackson. For the first few months of working together we were friendly but didn’t talk much as we were both still getting comfortable at the job. After a while Jackson and I started talking more and things began to get flirty. At first I was sure I was reading into things because I liked him and I wanted to believe he liked me too. As the months went on it became more obvious and I was pretty certain I wasn’t delusional. He would make flirty remarks, create inside jokes with me, get close whenever he could, and recently he added me on my personal Instagram with his personal and started sending me reels, even though we both have work accounts. Throughout all of this though, he was going on random dates/hookups and then telling me about them. Which I can’t tell if he did to try and make me jealous or as a subtle way of turning me down.
Overall, Jackson has been sending incredibly mixed signals. Finally, I decided I was sick of it, because i genuinely liked this dude, and I couldn’t tell if he was flirting for fun or if he actually felt something too. So I decided to ask him if he wanted to hangout (Sunday.) I figured it was a casual way to get my answer without putting myself on the line too much, or making things weird at work. Heres where things get shitty. He ignores the message for a day, and responds when we’re both at work together. Literally 20 feet from me when he sent it, and instead of answering my question he just said “buddy I’m so sorry I didn’t see your message.” Now I’m not an idiot, I know that this was his way of trying to let me down gently, but if a younger coworker was flirting with me and it wasn’t welcome, I’d sure as shit set that hard boundary instead of leaving things weirdly ambiguous. The bs doesn’t stop here though, the night Jackson responded (Monday) he wasn’t supposed to be at work, but showed up anyways because he had a date less than a block from our job, with a girl from my hometown, that he’d met on hinge the night before. Which he then bragged to me about the next day (Tuesday.) Oh and I almost forgot, he told our boss that I had dmed him!! Who mentioned it to me later by saying “Jackson felt so bad about missing your message.”
This whole situation really f*cking hurt. I know he probably thought this was the nicest way to go about it, but I personally found it pretty mean and childish. I may only be 20 but I can handle hearing no, and I really would’ve preferred a clear rejection instead of being passively toyed with.
I had myself a good ol pity party the following day (Wednesday) since I didn’t have work, but I picked myself up and went in on Thursday. I was still down about everything, but I was trying not to be mad at Jackson, since I know I may have put him in an uncomfortable position. So I put on a happy face and tried to move forward, keeping things friendly, but that entire day he kept flirting. I found myself repeatedly scooting away from him, avoiding eye-contact, and leaving whenever he’d make an iffy comment. On top of this, he messaged my personal insta on Wednesday joking about another coworker, and liked my story this morning (Friday.)
At this point I’m confused and quite frankly pissed off. I want to move on from this since he clearly doesn’t want to be something more, but I don’t think he wants to just be friends either.
I’m not sure if I should talk to him about it because he may just deny everything whether I was right about the flirting or not, which would make things uncomfortable. But, if I don’t talk to him, I’m worried I’ll have to keep dodging his advances and dating stories which would probably build resentment in me.
Unfortunately I can’t afford to quit the job but I’m sick of being his work wife.
Final Note:
I knew from the beginning that getting involved with him was a bad idea and that nothing would probably happen. Yet, I decided to encourage it anyways. It sucks I had to learn the hard way but I knew what I was getting into, and I’m glad that I’m finally at a place where I can not only acknowledge that I pick unhealthy/inappropriate partners, but make an effort to not repeat that cycle. If you’ve gotten this far I appreciate you taking the time to read my long ass rant. Advice is more than welcome if you have any to give, but simply reading this so I’m not carrying it alone is help enough.
Thanks again Reddit, I hope yall have a great Friday!!
TL;DR: Off and on flirting with male coworker reaches a head after asking him to hangout. He doesn’t reject me outright, so that he can keep stringing me along. I’m hurt, and still a little confused, but happy to be getting over him finally.