My boyfriend keeps testing me and I’m getting tired of it.
I feel like I’m constantly fighting a war instead of being in a relationship. He keeps bringing up my past mistakes to other people, especially his cousins, and it honestly humiliates me because it feels like he wants everyone to see me as the bad guy. Even when we’re okay, somehow the past always gets dragged back into things.
He also says hurtful things whenever we argue, almost like he needs to “win” or have the upper hand. Sometimes he tells me to “find someone else” whenever I ask him to change certain behaviors, but the whole point is that I wanted HIM to become better for us. He completely misses that.
What hurts more is that I warned him from the very beginning that I’m not perfect and that I might unintentionally hurt him sometimes. But now it feels like every mistake I’ve ever made is permanently stamped onto my forehead.
He also pressures me into things I’m not even allowed or ready for yet, and when I say no, he guilt-trips me or makes me feel like I’m ruining everything. Small problems always become huge explosions no matter how carefully I try to talk things out. I’ve even told him not to take every little thing so seriously because he pressures himself too much, but somehow he still turns everything into another emotional bomb.
At this point I don’t even feel like we’re solving problems together anymore. Most days it feels like I’m just trying to survive the relationship instead of feeling safe in it.