u/Jakeisfit

I’ve been with my girlfriend for around 10 years and honestly I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve genuinely felt happy in the relationship.

She constantly finds things to argue about and it’s emotionally draining. Friends and family have noticed the degrading comments she makes towards me, and some friends have even said they’ve never really seen us happy together.

I work a physically demanding job where I’m on my feet doing anywhere from 8–15 miles a day. When I get home she’ll say things like “have you done anything today?” in a sarcastic tone.

I used to be a much more loving person, but over the years her attitude and the constant negativity have changed me. I honestly don’t even look forward to her coming home anymore because I associate it with stress, criticism or arguments.

Another issue is that she gets angry whenever I do things outside the relationship. I go to the gym 3–4 times a week and she gets in a mood about it. If I want to go hiking, see friends, or do anything independently, she often throws a fit, sends loads of sarcastic texts, or says things like “don’t come back home then.”

The weird thing is I’ve always encouraged her to have hobbies, see friends, and find things she enjoys, but it feels like when I do those things it becomes a problem.

We also now have a child together who is nearly two years old, which makes this all feel much more complicated because I don’t want to make the wrong decision or negatively affect my child’s life.

A while ago I tried having a serious conversation with her and told her I didn’t think the relationship was working. Her response was basically “if you leave, you can have the child and I’ll just leave.”

That honestly scared me because my mind immediately went to how impossible that would be. I’d probably have to quit my job because of childcare, move back in with family, and completely restart my life. Since then I’ve felt trapped between staying unhappy or risking blowing up my entire future.

At this point I feel emotionally exhausted and honestly more at peace when I’m alone than when we’re together. I think I’ve spent years trying to avoid conflict and slowly stopped feeling like myself.

Part of me worries I’m staying because we’ve been together so long and now have a child, rather than because the relationship is actually healthy or happy.

Has anyone been through something similar where a relationship slowly wore you down over the years? Did you manage to fix it or did you eventually realise it couldn’t be saved?