RantingAboutLife
So , I (19) F am writing this .
I'll basically tell who lives in my family first - me, my sister (14) f , mom and dad , they're in their late 40s.
Basically our house has been very disturbed since a few yrs ago , almost 4-5 yrs.
My parents fight ALOT and when I say alot and then I mean it. My father works out of station in another city and he comes home only Saturdays and Sundays and on holidays and they still fight in these 2 days .
And it's not even like all fight , they'll talk nicely for awhile , something happens and they start fighting, its pretty bad.
This has been me and my sister's life for these yrs.
Now the thing I want to rant about is not only these fights but also how involved I am? Somehow.
Well, when the fights had just begun , mind you my parents are married for 20 yrs, my mom told me why they fight.
I'm not going to talk about that , obviously, but I was just 15 and she told me stuff she shouldn't have???
And whenever they'd fight the atmosphere of the house would be so bad, my father would go away monday morning and my mom's crying non stop and a 16 yr old me is comforting her , I know that's what I should've done, but it's all very overwhelming.
I have to be alert all the time
Like not triggering my father, listening to my mom and consoling her , taking care that my sister doesn't get involved in their fights .
I'm so tired.
Now I'm 19 and I realised I shouldn't listen to my mom because she's literally capable of handling her emotions. She goes back to dad again and they fight again and then she rants and why should I always be the good for all and not think about my mental peace?
She tells me how she regrets her life , how things could've been . But I don't wanna hear anymore .
My dad is another topic and I wouldn't wanna talk about him.
Only thing I can deal with is myself and my sister .
Anyways I'll be going to college this october and my sister has mastered the art of ignoring my parents so I hope it'll be a new beginning for me.
I'll go nowww
Byeeee.