u/Jenn-Benn

that’s it. he used to physically hurt me and has been to jail twice over it. the physical abuse stopped a good few months ago but the verbal abuse never did. if anything it just got worse. and when he says hurtful things (insults, threats etc) it just makes me hurt myself. before him i was clean from self harm for almost 3 years. i used to cut myself a lot when i was younger but stopped until he came into my life. and now im so ashamed that i also hit myself and punch myself. i never did that until recently so i wonder if it stems from me being hit by him in the past. i hate having so many bruises on my body that are from myself. this cycle has been happening since the end of last year, its literally almost june. since then there’s not even been a whole week where i haven’t hurt myself. my arms and legs dont even have time to heal. but im going to do everything in my willpower to not go back to him because i know how it’s gonna turn out. after 2 years im still hanging on to false hope that he will change but i need to let it go.