Hi, I just want to get some perspective on a long-term friendship.
I have a best friend since we were little like 5 years old up until now that we are both in our early 20's. Over the past year, our dynamic changed. She got into a relationship and also became closer with another friend (after this friend experienced a break up that's when she reached out again), and they started spending more time together.
I understand that part, especially since I also have work and some personal limitations that make it harder for me to join spontaneous plans. So I know I haven’t been as available physically.
However, there were a few situations that made me feel uncertain about where I stand when:
* I once planned a trip for us and already paid a portion, but she backed out when one of her friends supposedly came with us but suddenly backed out due to personal reasons. Told her I'd treat her and this will be our bonding since we haven't had the chance to do so.
* There was also a beach trip we had talked about before, but I found out later that they went without inviting me. She said it was because she thought I wouldn’t vibe with the group.
* When I opened up about a health concern, the conversation didn’t really go deeper and felt a bit surface-level when she said she feels concerned because she also experiences the same symptoms as I have.
* She once asked me to eat outside with her and when I asked where's her other friend she said she was sleeping and that's when I thought like "am I a second option only? Feels like she just asked me to hangout cuz the other one is not available"
Since then, our conversations have become less frequent and more casual. We’re still okay, but not as close as before.
At the same time, I now have a different circle where I feel more included, and we make plans that work with each other’s schedules.
I’m aware that in the past, I may have also been less available at times, so I’m trying to consider both sides.
Right now, I’m unsure how to approach the situation:
Is it reasonable to just accept the change and keep some distance, or is this something I should still try to fix?
Would appreciate any objective insights.