I discovered about a month ago that my partner had been texting a guy she already knew before we met. About four months into our relationship, there was a situation where this guy stayed over at her place after a party. At the time, she told me nothing happened and that he just couldn’t get a bus home. I told her back then that she needed to cut contact with him, and she said she did.
Now, seven years later, I noticed his profile on Snapchat on her phone. We don’t really use Snapchat, so it stood out. I wanted to send a picture from her phone to mine, and I saw that their messages were deleted, but it was obvious they had been in contact (his name was at the top of the list, etc.).
When I confronted her, she gave me a weak explanation about his father being ill and that he needed support, and that nothing inappropriate was going on. At first, I believed her, because in the past seven years she had never given me a reason not to trust her.
But after a few days, I couldn’t let it go. I checked her phone again and looked deeper. I found her ChatGPT history, and there it was—everything: questions about divorce, managing time for an affair, advice on flirty/sexual texting, and even indications that she had already had sex with him.
At that point, I realized she had actually betrayed me already four months into our relationship with this same guy. When I confronted her again, she finally admitted it.
Now she says she loves me and can’t be without me, but I’m completely devastated and don’t know what to do. I love my kids more than anything and I don’t want them to grow up with separated parents.
I really need advice.