My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married, with kids and a full life together. We were just approved for a new place and earlier in the week last week and were actively planning our future and how to make everything work financially.
By Thursday, everything fell apart.
I was at a middle school open house with the kids, they were acting up, and I was already overwhelmed from work and just mentally exhausted. When I got home, we started arguing about money again, and I snapped. I didn’t handle it well—I got emotional and left to cool off without telling him where I was.
I regret that so much.
I took some time, got the kids food, calmed down, and came back ready to talk things through and fix it.
But when I got home, he had packed his things and left.
Now he’s staying with family, being really distant, and saying he “can’t do it anymore,” but also that he still loves me. I don’t understand how both of those things can be true at the same time.
I know I have things I need to work on—especially how I handle stress and communicate when I’m overwhelmed. I’m not denying my part in this at all. But I also can’t believe that its that easy to walk away from 7 years, our kids, and everything we’ve built.
I don’t want this to be the end. I want to fix this. I’m willing to work on myself, go to counseling, whatever it takes.
Has anyone been in a situation where their partner left like this and came back? If so, what helped? And right now—should I give him space, or let him know I’m still here and willing to fight for us?
TL;DR: I got overwhelmed and handled an argument badly, left to cool off, came back and my husband of 7 years had packed and left. He says he loves me but “can’t do it anymore.” I want to fix things and don’t know the best way to approach him.