Hello sorry this post might be long but i truly need some understanding and sorry english not my first languange
I have been with my partner already for 7 years, we met each other when i moved to london and we start living in a shared house, we had an instant connection, and started dating a year after.
I was in a really toxic and abusive relationship before and so i finally found someone caring and loving and i was excited, i was 20 years old when we started dating and he was 35 and i knew he had 3 daughters, but we will be speaking only about is second marriage and they're 2 daugthers.
He would speak to he's ex everyday but for me was ok as he had a 1 year old and a 7 year old but Soon everyone in the house knew we were dating (they were all from the same country , so they knew him very well) and they asked me if i was with him, which i replied yes! And they told me please leave him he as a family, HE IS MARRIED!!! I was in shock and confronted him, to what he told me they were getting divorced and showed me all the documents, i was stupid and believe him.
He then left for 6 months to be in he's country and he told me i should never call or send message until he told me it was ok or he's ex would forbid him to see is daughters, and again i believe. i accepted that yes they need to speak to each other, and he's sister knew he was with me so if they were married she would say something to the ex wife right?, when he camr back showed me the divorce papers i was relieved.
moving forward all this years, the girls are bigger now and one has already a phone, so he could speak to them easily, but funny enough i found out he speak to hes ex every single day, they send pictures of each other they call each other and to me he dont even answer my texts and call me for max. 2 min, and they been doing this all this 7 years!
I thought it is weird and confronted him and once again he said they discuss things about the kids but that does not explain the pictures!
So last year in he's birthday she send a message that screams I LOVE MY HUSBAND. i asked him and he said is just the way she talks because all the years they been together. Me again of course accepted. He's kids dont even know i exist but i buy everything everything i can for them, and help with school, so i bought the older daughter a beautiful swaroski necklace, and i never saw her with it, i asked about pictures but he never had, i decided to make a fake social media to see if the mom maybe had pictures of her with it, and mind you, the ex wife had the necklace in her neck in all the pictures! it destroyed me and he said is not is fault the daughter give to the mom.
after that He went in december to he's country and he changed with me, he does not touch me he dont even speak at home with me i feel extremely lonely, and i noticed that is ex wife blocked my fake account i dont know how, but i used my name so maybe he assumed straight away that it was me on that account ( dumb i know)
When he was there i wanted to see the daughter playing volleyball so he called me but made me signal to not talk, and she was there with him only them together watching the training and i said ok, fine they need to be there for her. A few days go by he called me hysterical crying because she had a fight with him and i was so confused why he was so affected.
I notice now they speak everyday, he lie to me saying he going to see friends and he is actually going to call her, And today she just start again with the pictures and they been all sweet with each other. I do not watch is phone i just notice when he asks me to help him with stuff on he's phone and today i happened to see because i was sitting behind him and he didnt cared to hide it.
What hurt me the most is that he is all i know since i was 19 and i was always extremely helpful, he is now not working for 6 months and i work everyday i pay all bills alone i am exhausted and lost 12kg in the last 2 weeks to which he told me "that is good for you dont worry"...I dont want to destroy a family and i dont want to destroy myself! I know i might have a certain emotional attachment to him and sometimes he is really toxic. but maybe i am just seeing things wrong? Please do help me to understand if its just normal behavier between ex's that are parents or is something else or i am just crazy!