I understand the why behind the behavior but I still miss her
(this is about my best friend, we weren't dating but she was avoidant)
after the discard, I looked up all sorts of things about avoidants to understand how she likely feels about me and how she feels in general, just to try and make sense of everything because my brain was going crazy
it's only been 17 days of no contact and I know now that shes deactivated and nothing I say will ever reach her right now. I logically understand that she doesn't have the capacity to handle the amount of love I have.
I understand that during the discard she was extremely cold, hurtful and rude. I understand that the only way she changes is if SHE chooses to.
my mind knows all of this but my heart can't help but occasionally miss the connection when things were good. i'm terrified I won't ever find anyone I can connect with on the level that I did with her. she told me she didn't want to be friends because talking to me makes her hate herself for being this way.
I don't get why she couldn't have used that hate as motivation to work on herself, instead of running away?? I just feel so fucking hurt