
The Lump
TW: Body horror, drug use
I finished this yesterday and spent a while on revisions, but I'm really close to the story right now and would appreciate a little help with what to develop and what to reduce or omit. I like the structure it currently has, from discovery to horror and pain, to acceptance and the absurd ending, but I wonder if anything runs too long or short. It's just shy of 6 pages.
The tone is intended to be both funny and horrifying. It's about a guy who has to reconnect with his body after a years-long stimulant addiction, after the stimulants make him completely miss a foreign, parasitic organism crawling up his ass so it can gestate. There's a lot of blood and graphic detail, so miss it if you feel like it.
I'm open to whatever you've got. If I should tone down the narrator, turn up the descriptions, develop the wife, more dog... trying to make this one as accessible as anything with an ass birth can be.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GE9S8MRhC63bb9xfb7i6PyZYfGSt1VR7OXr3kpRYAhk/edit?usp=drivesdk