Last autumn I had a bad self harm accident, it ended up being a deeper wound needing medical aid and probably stitches which I refused since I thought they’d send me to a psych ward. My friend which was a former nurse was the reason why I was able to avoid any of that. I kept on getting flashbacks from that but now it’s stopped. It took me a long time to stop hating myself and feeling shame over it but since it’s always hidden I kinda got over it. Kinda like denying having it but now I’m genuinely worried to the point that I really am dreading going on a trip and going back home. Looking in a mirror at it genuinely makes me feel guilty and sad. The rest of my thigh is CLEAN and I stopped so it’s extra noticeable. I have very old scars on my calves but it’s thin compared to this one.
Fast forward now it’s spring and other than the fact that I have a trip with a friend group in 3 weeks and I’ll be going home from University this summer. I’m genuinely worried since i have not shown my legs since then and only that friend has seen the scar. It’s pretty healed up now but still not my skin tone. I have no idea what excuse to give, how to cover it up, how to stop being anxious over this. Even worse I don’t know what to do since despite being in my 20s my parents are still super overprotective and worried about me. How am I supposed to manage with this? They never acknowledged my SH as a teen and I feel like they were in denial too but I have a feeling that now that I’m older they’ll start bringing it up.
I thought maybe wearing scar tape on the trip will be good but what will be my excuse to an oddly placed wound? Not to mention going home will be even worse since my parents are the type to ask me to remove the patches to see. I need a full proof excuse not to, and a full proof excuse on wtf I have on my thigh. I’m so anxious ugh someone give me advice please.
(And before you say to keep on wearing clothes to hide it, my home country is literally a tropical place. Being exposed is inevitable)