I genuinely don’t know how to let go of my ex and I feel like it’s getting worse not better.
We were together for around 6 years and she was the closest person in my life. We broke up around 5 months ago and ever since then I feel like my brain has completely attached itself to her.
At first I thought time would fix it naturally, but instead I’ve become obsessive. I check her socials constantly, sometimes every hour without even thinking about it. I look at reposts stories anything just to feel connected to her life somehow. I’ve tried multiple times to remove her account and even delete my social media apps altogether but I eventually end up redownloading it anyway. I know it’s unhealthy but it feels compulsive at this point.
Recently I actually went out of my way hoping I’d “accidentally” run into her in a shop we both used to go to quite often. I did end up seeing her. We spoke for maybe a minute. I asked if she was well and mentioned I still see her reposts online and that I’m sorry how our relationship ended even though it was her that ultimately ended it. She responded with “are you still thinking about this?” and seemed completely emotionally detached.
That interaction crushed me because I think part of me still thought that if we saw each other again the connection would come back somehow. Instead it just made me realise just how emotionally stuck I am while she seems to have moved on.
The weird thing is logically I know getting back together wouldn’t even work long term because of how badly our relationship ended and the fallout that it caused. But emotionally I just cannot let go. It feels like every fibre of my being wants to hold onto her and stay connected to her life somehow.
I’ve tried therapy already and it didn’t really help. My days have become really isolated and repetitive and I think that’s made the obsession worse. I spend a lot of time alone thinking about her and replaying memories. And even at work or the gym I still think about what she could be doing or who she is with.
I honestly just want advice from people who have been through this level of obsessive/anxious attachment after a long relationship. How do you actually break the cycle when your brain treats the person like an emotional survival need? How do you stop obsessively checking and hoping when part of you still desperately wants them back even though you know it’s hurting you? I don’t know what to do at this point I have tried hanging out with mates, going on trips, focusing on my hobbies but behind all of that I still have this almost compulsion to want to check on her.