u/Joeyfangirl_

i apologize if there is mistakes in my text, english is not my first language! and please no islamphobia to this text its not about that!
i cant really talk about this topic to anyone i know so im writing here. im 22 year old woman, i was born into christian family but my family was never really religious, i learned about christianity and other religious and everything but never found it mine. later around teenage i realized im more agnostic/atheist, i dont believe in god or religions in general. my now fiance, was how ever raised in very religious muslim family, but he himself is not so religious but still believs in god and practices the religion sometimes. he knows about my beliefs but other than that its not really out there. we have been together for 3 years and engaged for 2. some months ago i started reading more and more into religions, not just islam but christianity judaism hinduism etc. and i have started to question everything more and more. it has started to affect the way i am with him, i hate to say but i start to feel more and more that i cant respect religions after everything ive learned, especially how misogynist and patriarchal most religions are. and believing in god, it doesnt make sense to me because if he is real why there is so much bad in the world, or how people believe things are ”part of gods plan”.
my fiance has never been bad to me, he claims he is feminist and everything but the thoughts i have had lately about our different beliefs is really starting go bother me and i dont know what to do, i would not want to leave him after what we have built but also i dont know how to be with someone religious anymore after everything ive learned. when we got together with him i didnt care about religions, i started to learn more about them to understand my fiance but honestly it made me despise him and his belifs and i hate it. and no this is not about islamphobia, i am not racist, i just cant really find respect to any religions aftee what ive learned. i am so helpless in this situation, i dont know what to do.