I Feel Like I've Lost My Ability to Trust and Love People
23M, I wish I could be the same person I was before.
I just can't be like my normal self anymore. For the last 3 years, I can't trust anyone, I don't have people that I love, I don't have people as friends, and I'm totally lonely. I don't remember when was the last time that I really expressed my feelings or wanted to talk to someone about how I feel.
I push people away when they get closer to me. I only feel safe when I'm alone. I don't have people that I don't want to lose. I don't have a person who is my close friend. I haven't felt love for a long time. Even though I tried a lot and got into relationships, I found myself every time with someone that I don't really love and don't feel safe with.
Btw, I'm not an introvert and I have a good social network, but they are just people I know, and no one is really my friend.