To the piece of shit who stole my wallet at the graduation ceremony this weekend:
Fuck you to death. Truly, fuck you so hard.
You probably thought you just scored a quick 27 bucks. You don't know this, but you completely fucked me over, and I really hope you enjoy that money before karma comes back. I know it’s my fault for taking my eye off the bin for five seconds while I walked through the metal detector, but the fact that you saw that window and swiped my shit heats me. Also, a massive fuck you to the "security guards" who stood right there and let it happen.
I had a flight 20 hours later. Because of you, I had to drag my fiancée to the airport hours early to deal with the TSA without an ID, robbing her of her last few hours with her long distance family. Instead of actually celebrating the graduation, the whole weekend was ruined. Everyone was stressed, tearing cars apart and retracing steps for hours, all while you were walking away with my cash ($27, a whole treasure chest!!!)
You didn't know this, but I haven't been working for two months. The absolute last thing I need right now is to blow $200 on a new wallet, a tracker, and replacement fees just to get back to square one. There was literally nothing else of value to you in there. My military ID, my CCW, my credit cards, it’s all useless plastic to you. On top of that, I had to pay another $45 to "validate" who I was to TSA, making an already expensive flight $45 more. Plus, you contributed to slowing down the lines at an airport (I’m sure the people in that line would give you a fuck you for that too.)
I'm finally starting a new job in 10 days and I potentially won't have the documents I need to get into the building and prove who I am. Even if I can get by with my passport and birth certificate, now I have to use those instead of maintaining what I had.
I had my VA health ID in there, too. I was planning on visiting a center this week because my fucking knees, back, and neck hurt from all the stupid shit I did over the last 10 years, for you, by the way. I'll probably still be able to get in, but it's once again just another hiccup and an asspain because you're a fucking thief.
But the absolute worst part? Getting a new military ID is a complete administrative nightmare. And because I lost it, I didn't just have to jump through the hoops, I got formally reprimanded on paper for being "irresponsible." I had to stand there and look like a fucking idiot to my leadership, taking a counseling statement because you couldn't keep your fucking thieving fingers to yourself over $27.
I really hope it was worth it. Fuck you to death, truly. You're a loser and you should feel truly bad about who you are and the choices you've made in life to be where you are.