3 Years Down the Drain
I (M28) recently got broken up with my now ex (F26) after 3 years together.
For context ive been in multiple relationships before and wanted something serious and longterm, I've been in multiple long term relationships but for different reasons they didn't work on. My now ex only was in one relationship prior to me and it was with a High-school guy that eneded before going to university.
When we first met everything was so easy and as cliche as it might sound I fell in love the first time I saw her. And when we started to date it was amazing, as we spent more and more time together we would open up be vulnerable and just be there for one another, if you were to look at the emotional side of the relationship it was a 10/10 I generally felt like I found my partner. I would be there for so much of her hard times and pick her back up and she would do the same to me and we felt like we were meant for another
But when it came to the more physical and intimate side of things there was a big gap. My ex never did anything like that before so everything was new to her and she also had OCD which made things much harder because she would have intrusive thoughts that things could go wrong even though we're using protection or that the sweats would cause germs etc etc small things that were really big in her mind and I tried my best to always make sure that she felt safe and comfortable.
After two year anniversary I did bring up the fact that I would like us to really work on our physical side of our relationship because that's what I believe is normal in a relationship and she agreed but through months and months when I was trying to be supportive it would just be going back in circles that nothing would change. And recently I brought up that I was a bit disappointed in the lack of progress that I would do anything she would say but she would still be with her thoughts, I would say we can still take time maybe if we take a break and then try again later it could help. But recently when I told her I was a bit disappointed she asked for a week break just so she could focus on herself, which I gave her.
Now I get the bombshell that's she wants to break up because she took a deep thought and she realized that she can't give me what I want, that's better to end things now rather than for us to keep dating and then things potentially getting worse. I get where she's coming from but an emotional connection to me is much harder to find than a physical one. People hook up all the time and there can be no thought to it it doesn't mean that you're going to be together forever. Even couples that are in their later years probably don't get us physical as they were when they were younger, but what's there is the emotional site which I think is very important. I said that we could take things slow again that this doesn't have to be a deal breaker but for her she was already committed to leaving the relationship
Anyways ive being in relationships before I've been through heartbreaks I'll be able to get back on my feet. But I just wanted to share this and ask am I wrong for telling her I was disappointed in the lack of intimacy in our relationship? And is it better off to Let Her Go rather than to fight for her?