I’m not sure if I like this guy
So after being single for around a year, and after a few past relationships that were honestly kind of messy, I decided maybe it was finally a good time to meet someone new. Nothing super serious necessarily, just dating, getting to know people, seeing what happens. So yeah… I downloaded Tinder.
That’s where I met this guy, let’s call him “Y”.
We talked for like two weeks before meeting. The conversation was kinda on and off, not super deep or insanely exciting , but interesting enough that we kept texting. Eventually one day we were both free after work and randomly decided to grab food together.
It honestly didn’t even feel like a date. He showed up, and yeah, he was just as attractive as his pictures, but also kinda distant? Like a few minutes into us talking he pulled out his phone to answer a family call. It wasn’t a huge deal or anything, but I remember thinking “oh… okay.” I didn’t really feel that immediate spark or connection with him.
But we kept talking after that, and over time we started seeing each other more often.
And the thing is… he’s genuinely a good guy. Attractive, good career, stable job, we live close to each other, responsible, all of that. On paper he’s basically everything people would want.
But I can’t shake this feeling that something is missing.
For me, the way someone sees the world matters a lot. And while externally he checks every box, emotionally/intellectually I feel like we’re kinda disconnected. I’ve realized he’s not really into deeper conversations the way I am. Not that every conversation needs to be philosophical or intense, but most of his interests revolve around shopping, fashion, appearances, social stuff… and honestly the kind of worries someone has when life has always been relatively easy for them. Which is completely fine, I ’m not judging him for that.
I just don’t feel an authentic connection.
Sometimes I even wonder if I’m also just an “external checkbox” for him too. Like maybe he likes the idea of having someone attractive around, or someone his friends approve of, or just not being alone.
And now I’m kinda stuck because I don’t even know how to bring this up without sounding pretentious or unfair. Part of me wonders if I’m being way too picky and expecting too much from someone who’s actually a really decent person… and if maybe I’ll regret walking away from something stable just because it doesn’t feel “deep enough.”