I did use AI to help structure this post a little better because when I typed it all out, it seemed like it was all over the place.
I’m 39M, my wife is 34F, and we’ve been married for 4 years. We have a 1-month-old daughter, and I’m worried my wife may be dealing with postpartum depression.
A little background: when we first got together, she was adventurous and social, but over time she became more withdrawn and overwhelmed by people and responsibilities. Since leaving the Army, she’s struggled with motivation, work, and confidence, and she doesn’t really have friends or much support outside of me.
Since our daughter was born, things have gotten a lot harder. My wife says she just needs help caring for the baby, but even when I help at home, she still seems overwhelmed. She gets overstimulated very easily, doesn’t want my family staying with us because they stress her out, doesn’t want hired help for the same reason, and we both think daycare is too expensive.
I’ve tried to step up as much as I can. I handle night wake-ups so she can sleep, but she still seems exhausted and stressed during the day. I’m active duty, so there will be times I’m gone for days, and I’m really worried about how she’ll manage then.
I’ve also tried to get her to open up to her doctor, but she says she’s “fine” and won’t really admit she needs help.
Advice request:
How do I support my wife and encourage her to get physical and mental help when she refuses family support, won’t accept outside help, and won’t admit she may be struggling with postpartum depression?
TL;DR:
My wife may have postpartum depression after having our daughter, on top of some post-traumatic stress she never wants to talk to me about. She refuses help from family or hired support, and I’m worried because I’m active duty and won’t always be home. I need advice on what to do.