second post here, ive spent so long of my life being a loner and the weird kid who gets bullied and that applies even now and im so tired of everything
does someone who only hurts the people closest to her deserve to even live
does someone who pushes away the only people in her life that even put up with her deserve to live in even the slightest bit of comfort
everytime i have someone close to me in some way or another i always end up hurting them and i seriously dont want to i seriously try to not hurt those close to me i seriously dont want to be any more of a burden than i already am
i cant keep doing this shit i cant keep hurting my friends and it just becomes so much worse when they play off me harming them as some accident
its not ok its not fine for me to keep doing this
this isnt even a new thing i already said this i just keep accidentally hurting all my friends and all the people who even bother to not hate every fiber of my body and i hate it so much
i seriously feel like im just doomed to live a life of constant pain and hurting the people who make it even slightly easier
i dont know what to do anymore my mental health and physical health are deteriorating so horribly and quickly to the point where killing myself sounds genuinely like the only way out of this fucking hellhole