*sorry if I make some mistakes, English is not my birth language, pls be kind thanks*
Hi everyone
I started doing ket 10 years ago but it was occasional, when I was with friends and at parties.
But about 2 years ago I slowly started to use it daily because I was really depressed. At that time, it helped me to face the life everyday cause I still had to work to pay my rent. When I was high everything was fine and I forgot that I wanted to die from the time I wake up until I go to bed.
As it was becoming worse and worse, I had to quit my job because I was feeling really bad mentally, and physically I started to have some stomach and bladder pain and had to piss every 30 min.
My parents they didn’t know what I was going through, but at this point I had to tell them the truth. My mom came to pick me up and I stayed about 3 weeks at their home, they took care of me and helped me reaching the help that I needed to stop using. I quit for about 1 month but I relapsed quick because I missed being high, and a lot of my friends take K as well so I was constantly tempted.
I needed to take higher doses to feel something so sometimes I experience K-hole and couldn’t remember what happened.
It needed to stop. Therapy was really helpful to me.
Now I feel a lot better mentally, my life changed for the last 6 months, I found a new job and I’m not as depressed as before. I want to get better and to be able to make projects but for some reason, I can’t stop using ketamine. I take smaller doses so I’m not too high but I still need it. My bladder is getting really painful and I’m afraid to get some irreversible damage
I want to have a normal life and not thinking of it everyday but I am scared to be sober
Thanks for reading me