am i cooked or is this just how emotionally constipated men behave 💔
okay so i (20f) have been talking to this guy for like 5 months now. we’re in the same college, he’s older than me, and we talk pretty regularly. by “regularly” i mean i text first like 90% of the time 😭
BUT the thing is when we do talk, it’s GOOD??? like he remembers things i say, he calls me random nicknames, we’ve had multiple 5am conversations, he’s called me just to tell me to sleep, etc. there’s clearly some comfort there. his friends know about me, my friends know about him, and i’m pretty sure he knows i like him.
for context, this man is the driest texter alive. like genuinely “hmm”, “acha”, “sojao” final boss. but he used to still make effort in his own weird way? like he’d always say goodnight, continue conversations, ask questions back sometimes, randomly tease me, etc.
recently (a few days) though i feel like something shifted.
example:
he stopped saying goodnight properly
- reacts to reels instead of replying
- leaves messages unseen while active elsewhere
- never texts first (still)
- conversations feel more “go sleep 👍” than actual conversations
and now i’m overthinking everything because i ALSO talked to one of his close friends about how confused i was feeling, and now my brain has convinced itself he found out and got turned off by me being “too much”.
the thing is i don’t even need constant texting. i just want some reassurance that i’m not annoying him by existing 😭 because rn it feels like i’m carrying the emotional momentum of this entire thing on my back.
i stopped texting first for a few days to see what happens and… nothing happened 💀 LIKE WDYM WE LAST TALKED ON MONDAY AUR WOH BHI FOR 5 MINS
but ALSO:
- he’s stayed up talking to me till sunrise before
- he notices when i’m upset
- he remembers tiny details
- he literally called me “batman”
- reacted 😳 to a reel i sent about me looking for topics of conversation while talking to him
- asked who i lock my chats for when i mentioned hiding conversations from my mom
- has said things that definitely sound more interested than “just friends” like we planned a whole meet up but then my mom showed up at college to surprise me
SO LIKE??? what is this???
is he:
a) losing interest
b) just a terrible texter
c) emotionally unavailable
d) secretly interested but nonchalant to the point of psychological warfare
i genuinely like him a lot but i’m starting to feel emotionally exhausted constantly trying to decode whether this man likes me or merely tolerates my presence.