Did I miss out
I run a property company, I have been doing it since I was 17, I was into business at 12 reselling tech, home applications, saved up 20K from 12-17, leased my first property and am building an airbnb portfolio, i’m 20 in 2 months. I have 4 properties running, making me healthy margins, I live with my parents, my outgoings are minute, every penny is put back into the business, I have a sourcing business with my business partner, a woman who’s a lot older than me but we speak as if we’re the same age. She’s engaged. I was extremely insecure about myself and my appearance thorough covid so I wore a mask throughout highschool, I was apart of a good friend group, I wasn’t a quiet kid or weird to any extent but I wasn’t social at all, I started to go to the gym and eventually lose the mask, I was just a normal teen then really until the end of A levels. My friends went to university while I started to run the airbnb business with my ex best mate, we parted ways when I realised he was dragging me down, he was very focused on drugs, women, social life and I was the opposite, we didn’t work out and things have worked out very well financially, I started a property service company alongside my new Business partner and we sell investments, we consistently sell 1-2 a month, with a £3000 fee for each investment. We started only a few months ago. I work 24/7 . I regret doing this in a way. Some days i’m driving, walking, working and I just feel so empty. I don’t talk to anybody really, only older people about work, sure me and my new business partner have great banter but she’s married and it’s really just platonic, even If I feel like there’s something there for a second, there definitely isn’t. I feel like i’m reaching for something not there, I don’t play video games anymore, I have nobody to play them with , nobody to go eat with , my mum and dad fill the gap if i’m feeling lonely but it never goes, I’m constantly called mature so I try act stupid so people would see me more as a kid . But i’ve built something good and it’s a business that’s making me money, more than a lot of teenagers my age , but I don’t know if I care about it now to the extent I did then, I didn’t really sit down with myself and acknowledge what i’m sacrificing, I know i’ll reach my financial goal, but it feels like I’ll be lonely forever . I do get nervous around people , my lips get dry and I get out of breath, and Its discouraging, I am not one for self loathing but I don’t know how else to describe how I am. I still talk here and there to my friends, but they all now have S.O’s, at least speaks to people . My friend suggested rejection therapy when I accidentally sent him a video about how to not get nervous around women . I do feel pathetic on some days. I don’t consider myself ugly now, i’ve worked hard for my physique and my features , but I lack the confidence, not in business now, but general confidence with people, I find myself obsessing over sending the right text or making sure I send something funny or memorable . I have thought about joining clubs. I don’t really know if I have the time? I don’t feel like I’ve got the experience to speak to a girl even on social media , I don’t think I could keep up a conversation . It’s really eating me up