u/Junior_Chest_4770

I feel like I can’t talk for shit or be myself cause of how in my head or like overly aware and self conscious I am. It seems as if everyone can just converse, be social and confident so easy while I can’t leave the house without stressing about my fit, can’t talk to people cause I overthink it instead of letting it happen naturally and then thinking that people don’t like me or that I’m doing too much…

Anyone else deal with this? Did it get better? I used to be a social butterfly had my insecurities but I could go to a function and be THAT guy

It’s been almost 3 years in total and 3 months since last time relapsing since touching it. The relapses weren’t consistent js weekends nd 2 weeks all spread out

Im going crazy

Almost 3 months since my few lapses- been up and down and off my caffiene intake has been high and well tonight I had some alcohol cause my friend made a slushy and I didn’t know it was alcohol mixed in I ws actually doing well staying off since well I’ve only tried it a few times 😭and now I’m very anxious but I’ve mentally unstable today as a whole.

The last few weeks have been like just a weird flat feeling, idk how to explain it but yeah hopefully I wakeup tomorrow feeling better man- being 18 in paws is alottt bro I really hope I heal within a year cause in total that will be 3 years for me, if I find myself here for 4-5 years idk if ima be able to manage bro. I had the slip ups that set me back but it wasn’t like I smoked for a whole month again js a few weekends and 2 weeks SPREAD OUT FROM EACHOTHER

I just feel really cooked

Been worried about if I got bipolar or schizophrenia even tho I’ve been told no by professionals and just overall not at a good place rn and I start college very soon and I’m a worker and I do events and stuff and I can’t just like quit so like I need advice

Welp. I quit nicotine, started using more caffeine for a while, and honestly I was starting to feel better. I was also using L-theanine, which seemed to help. Then I quit the caffeine and L-theanine too. The first day I was actually doing okay, but by day two I feel like my brain completely turned on me again.
My social anxiety is fucking awful right now. My confidence is basically nonexistent, and I feel like I have 100 thoughts running through my head at once, constantly analyzing everything I say, everything I do, how I look, how I’m acting, whether I’m being awkward, etc. It gets to the point where I feel paralyzed and I can’t just live normally.
This has basically been part of my experience since PAWS started. It did get significantly better at one point, and I genuinely thought I was finally getting my life back. Then I had a relapse, and now it feels like I’m right back in this shit again. I know recovery probably isn’t perfectly linear, but damn, it’s exhausting when you’ve already experienced what feeling normal again feels like.
My job requires me to talk to people, and the fucked up part is I actually WANT to talk to people. I want to be social. I want to have fun. I want to go out and make memories like other people my age. I look at other teens/young adults just casually talking, joking around, being confident, enjoying themselves, and I envy the hell out of it because I feel like I’m constantly stuck inside my own head.
I’m so tired of being tired. I’m tired of feeling like I’m fighting my own brain 24/7. Sometimes it genuinely makes me wonder if this is just what my life is going to be like forever, and that thought scares the shit out of me.
I’m not planning to hurt myself, but I’m at the point where I just desperately want all of this to stop. I don’t want to die—I just want to stop feeling like this. I want my brain to shut the fuck up for once.
I feel like a failure sometimes. Like everyone else is living and I’m just trying to survive my own thoughts.
Has anyone else gone through something similar after quitting nicotine/caffeine or during PAWS? Did the anxiety/social anxiety eventually calm down again? I could really use some perspective from people who have actually been through this.

Did anyone ever experience a distorted perception of yourself. Feeling ugly, less confident, less in tune with yourself and interest , your vibe not feeling like yours, bad social skills, guilt and doubt in various areas in life etc?

Because it’s definitely hitting me with my appearance I feel like just not my best, my confidence, social skills and sexuality

Im 18 and I feel like paws has taken my life from me 😭 everyone else my age lives life carefree, can make friends, socialize, do dumb shit etc and not be in their head 24.7 me on the other hand. I dont make friends, i can barely live, im in my head constantly when I do go out its like im cool but i feel like i be forcing it or faking it or hypeanalyzing everything so its never natural and I can never enjoy the moment. I was almost through this shit then I relapsed.

Im convinced atp i will always be a shell of my former self and i will never be normal 😭 i gotta have a mental illness or some idk if its normal to be like still struggling 31 months i get i had a few slip ups but i never smoked consistently for like a whole month or sum shi js a few weekends nd 2 weeks spread out like wtf bro

Recently hit 32 months, 2 months since my small relapse on the 27th... I feel like I fucked myself not gonna lie I was just in a window but now I'm in a wave. Just quit nicotine again, and I'm just in my head and anxious 24/7 thinking about shit I shouldn't have to worry about yknow? vision grainy as hell not sure anything will go away this time I really feel like paws is my life at this point... if it's paws... Before the lapses i was doing fine and felt almost healed and smoking felt normal at first til the anxiety came back during my last night smoking.. Smh, I really fucked myself. I quit when I was 16 could've been out at 18 with my whole life ahead of me now I'm almost 19 in september and will likely be in paws when im 22-23 shit so sad. I don't feel hope, I don't even feel hopeless I just feel numb and empty and like I just can't do nothin about it like I really just don't want to exist anymore...

Bro life right now has been crazy I got ocd in 2023 from a bad weed experience and I was only 16 then, I’m 18 now and I do event planning as a job and I used to be the lit carefree guy who was always just turnt and nice and down to earth and social.

Now I feel like I’m just, anxious all the time I always wander if I’m lame, I constantly worry about my sexuality, I always wander if I got a mental illness cause my dad is bipolar, I obsess about feeling different than others and feeling like I’m not normal and it’s not just 24/7 obsessions it’s all in my subconscious so it’s like just always on my mind even if I’m not googling my brain is still thinking about it.

I’m in school right now college and idk if I’ll ever be able to have a good time or get back to who I used to be. My psychiatrist believes I have post acute withdrawal syndrome cause I showed no signs of ocd before the weed connection and it got better and almost was gone but I relapsed on weed and now it’s back

Whatever it is, until I find a therapist can I get help coping. I know not too look for answers online but is there other tips or like a survival guide? How can I go out and have fun, how can I tap into my personality, how can I not always doubt myself

Pls help

I started using caffeine in November 2024 after quitting nicotine and weed. I had developed a lot of anxiety after a weed-induced panic attack, and about a year later I started using caffeine as a way to cope with that anxiety.

At first, it felt amazing. Life seemed more fun, I felt more motivated, my anxiety seemed lower, and it eventually became a crutch. But after about a year of regular use, I started noticing more negative effects than positive ones.

I’ve taken multiple breaks from caffeine over the past several months. The breaks have gradually gotten longer, and my periods of caffeine use have gotten shorter, so maybe that’s progress.

The problem is that I’m about to start college, and I keep going back to caffeine because I’m afraid I’ll fail without it. I also constantly convince myself that I have ADHD because of my anxiety, even though I’ve been told I don’t have it. Part of me believes caffeine makes me more creative musically and makes life feel better, but deep down I know that’s probably not true. During my longer breaks, I’ve actually been calmer, more confident, more like myself, and I’ve still done well in life.

This most recent relapse has been different, though. Everything seemed to go downhill much faster.

I’ve become extremely anxious, depressed, irritable, and constantly looking for caffeine to feel normal again. I keep thinking about who I used to be before all of this. It feels like my personality has disappeared, and I’m honestly tired of living like this.

At my peak, I was taking a caffeine pill plus two cups of coffee every day. Yesterday I only had a Celsius. Today I only had one cup of coffee. Tomorrow I plan to quit completely, though if the withdrawal gets too intense I may have something small like a Mountain Dew instead of going back to higher amounts.

If anyone has successfully quit caffeine, I’d really appreciate any advice, tips, or encouragement. I feel desperate to get my freedom back and feel like myself again. I’m finally ready to be completely sober and see what life is like without depending on any substance.