u/Just-Association3805

My Q has started treatment. Injections and a tablet that stops the pleasure of drinking.

In all of this I’ve realised just how affected by alcohol my life is, I don’t have a partner that I enjoy normal things with. It’s living with someone that constantly has another priority in the day, any plans interrupt his drinking plan, there’s very little sober, relaxed, enjoyment.

The treatment is slow, I was worried that it would be abrupt, could harm him, but so far, week 1 it has been mellow, he’s drinking, but less, his reaction to alcohol has been different, he’s calmer.

It won’t be an easy journey, but as someone that has come here in pain I thought I would share a glimpse of hope. I will go to church, thank that he connected with a good GP, that there’s good in the world and committed professionals to help.

I know that’s a rhetorical question, but I honestly can’t comprehend how so many nice, caring, non alcoholic people wind up getting caught in this horrific disease.

Here’s my story, my partner would drink controlled, at home, but would drink. He would then detox for months, drink to wind down at the end of the day and he would be calm, but just like everything I’ve read here, eventually the detox months stopped, the calmness is turning to rage, the alcohol is causing chronic sleep issues and he’s losing himself completely to alcohol.

It seems to have been even more triggered by his decision to buy a beautiful home, for us to live in. Soon every little disagreement became anger about his regret, I was seriously concerned about moving in, I was hesitating but also so hopeful the happiness of the new home was what he needed, more space, a garden, but the extra fridge is where there’s room for more wine, the garage is where he goes constantly to find things and bring back a bottle of wine, the garden is where he sits on his phone scrolling and where I’ve seen him drinking straight out of a bottle in the middle of the day, and he blames the house for his stress, me for his anger. It’s turned to verbal and emotional abuse, Ive lost count of the ‘f you’ out loud, in a wealthy suburb with a close community, I’ve become embarrassed, I’m the sad girl been screamed at by her wealthy partner. Soon I realised he’s actually fighting alone, I’m not fighting with him, this is one sided and I’m feeling abused, emotionally beaten because the place I’ve called home is unstable, it feels unsafe and he is progressively getting worse. He complains I’m using up his space, I’ve started packing up my things and putting them away, I still haven’t moved all my things in, but when I look around all the colourful beautiful homely things are mine, his home was very basic because he has a country house where all his treasures are.

This week he let me down, to a new level and I’m angry, my friends son passed away and something bothered me first thing in the morning, I was feeling sensitive, I’m not allowed to get bothered, because he stormed out of the house, told me to f off and said he’s selling the house. No accountability, no apology, then he cancelled attending an important event for me because he was tired, I stayed somewhere else, I don't have it in me to go back, the most loving gentle man has slowly turned into a part time monster, I still have flowers he gave me last week because he ‘loves me’.

I’m just writing, needed to get it off my chest, share my pain, reach out so other people don’t feel alone, it’s hard for people to understand.