u/Just-Curiou

I'm really just going on about Islam, and my relationship with a muslim man as a Latina Woman. I hope the questions I have at the end could be answered. Any advice would help to.

A bit before Ramadan started (2-3 months before) I decided to buy a Quran. The reason is because since I've met this muslim man (currently seeing) he tells me about his religion. No, he does not try to convince/force me to convert and I do not plan to. He talks about how he prays 5 times a day, I have seen and heard his prayers though I do not understand what it is he is saying when praying in Arabic. Every now and then he talks about Islam. And I enjoy it each time and get curious about Islam.

When I had bought the Quran I tried reading it every night before bed. Of course I did not tell him about this because it was personal. It was me trying to find where my beliefs align. I didn't like the fact that I had no idea where I belonged. Always being unsure. But not even two weeks passed after buying the Quran, and I told him because I got upset over something he said. He had told me how I should start praying, and to be thankful and grateful to God for what I have. He said that it wasn't good to not believe. He said it didn't matter how I prayed but that I should just start/learn to. Did I overreact? Maybe. I was upset because it felt like he thought I wasn't grateful for what I had. As if I didn't appreciate everything I was given. I didn't and still don't know how to pray. I never once prayed, I was never shown how to. All I would do was talk to myself and hope to God that things would change. So it was that moment that I told him that I was trying to learn and understand his religion. That I was never taught to pray or shown how to. And that I had no Idea where I stood when it came to religion. He then had apologized. Saying that he had not meant it that way. That he was not saying I wasn't grateful, etc. He was a bit happy about me trying to understand/learn about his religion. But told me that if I'm forcing myself to stop. Once I told him that I wasn't forcing myself and genuinly wanted to understand he started asking all these questions. Like, what chapter I'm in. Or what my thoughts on the Quran were, and just that he was proud.

Currently, I'm only less than 50 pages in. I live with my parents, and have about 5-6 siblings. It's never quiet. And when reading the Quran I take my time because I want to learn/understand. But just being able to hear people around me while reading the Quran bothers me. Any noise does when reading. I can't focus, and each time I have to reread the sentence over and over until it's actually silent..

I read the Quran in english because well I don't know arabic. I'm a Latina woman who only speaks english. I don't speak spanish, but I can understand a lot of it. I grew up with grandparents only speaking to me in spanish growing up because that's all they knew. But I would only ever reply back to them in english, and again they'd just talk/reply back to me in spanish. Everyone else would speak to me both in English abd Spanish.

I have always believed in God. My family is all Christian. From my fathers side, to my mothers side. All believing that Jesus is God. Not a single one of them is not Christian. So when it comes to religion, religion scares me. It was after my younger siblings asked me "Do you believe that Jesus is God?" and I replied back saying "No." and then them saying things like "You're stupid." "Going to hell" etc. that I chose to ignore them when speaking about religion. I never spoke about my thoughts on religion because I never knew. All I believed was that God is real. And that God is God. Nothing less and nothing more.

Since the month of Ramadan I tried/chose to stop eating pork. Of course I did by accident eat pork on Ramadan once or twice. But since I haven't eaten pork. My family doesn't know this, and I try to not make it obvious. Each time my Father makes anything including pork I ignore it, eat whatever is on the side slowly (not including whats touched the pork) until everyone leaves. Once everyone is gone I'll put it in the microwave, and let someone have it or feed it to my dog.

I feel I'll be judged for certain if they knew I stopped eating pork. Saying "Is it because of that man that you've stopped eating pork?" "It's because of him isn't it?" I've already been told that a few times by my aunt, and it upsets/bothers me. Because why can't it just be that I don't like or want to eat pork. Why does it have to be because of him. Pork has always been my least favorite. The smell of pork bothers me, and it has a strange taste. So it was never that hard to stop eating it. By the way he has met my family already. So my family does know he's muslim, doesn't eat pork, shouldn't be dating, etc. So they assume that the changes would be due to him.

This man has met most of my family, and I have not met any of his. He has spoke about me to his siblings. But not his parents. We do not know what will happen if his parents were to know that he is with a woman not of Islam.

This man wants to get married after he is done with Uni. (1 year). While I have 2-3 years of Uni. He's a good man. A great man. The only man I've been with. And I know I'm the only one he's been with and treated this way, and just sexually touched (not to that point). Were both virgins. And wants us to be each others first as soon as possible. At first when he had touched me sexually he felt really guilty, and left. To him it was wrong. He's tried to stop thinking about it, and letting it get to him. But it still gets to him and he's also given it weeks of thinking. His final decision was that he was ready. Ready to lose his virginity with me. Said that he wouldn't regret it, nor feel guilty about it. That he wouldn't blame me or take anything out on me. That I want to be the woman he marries, and that it's what he plans to do.
Also, he has asked me if our children could be muslim and I said yes. Because I have no problem with our children being muslim.

What I want to ask is if there is hope for the two of us. Would his parents allow it? accept the two of us?

For muslim men with non muslim woman. Did your parents/family accept? If not what did you do?

Where exactly do I stand when it comes to religion? Because I have no clue. When it comes to Islam I feel like I wouldn't be considered muslim if I'm not wearing a hijab. If I'm not praying multiple times a day. As for clothing I don't go around wearing revealing clothes, showing off skin. I wear leggings everyday. It's just what I wear daily due to comfort. But I hear that skin tight clothes are not modest as they show off your body, curves, etc. I do as well want to marry this man, and to me he does seem serious.

What if we become each others first, and he just up and goes? Could I just be falling for sweet words? (Been together 6-7 months). He does deal with things at home and might have a few red flags but nothing too serious. Somethings he does do bother me, but when I tell him he does fix it. It goes both ways. When I do something he doesn't like or needs fixing then he'll let me know and I'll fix it.

These past few days I've been making Dua or trying to atleast. But unsure of whether I am doing it right Every night when going to sleep I make Dua. I'll get in bed right after a shower (12-2 a.m.) and a long day of work/studies. I'll close my eyes, hold my hands together, because it's comfortable and basically whisper to myself. I'll talk/pray in english and start by saying how I am thankful for everything Allah has given me. That I should be thankful/grateful, and appreciate what I have. Then I'd go on saying "Allah I pray that you protect..." and just vent. While doing so I do usually cry but then with no intention of falling asleep until I finish my prayer I by accident fall asleep for a minute or two with tears still on my face. Then I'd wake up, continue talking, somehow fall asleep for another minute or two. Then wake up and just try to end my prayer quickly by thanking allah again for everything and just saying Good night. Because I can't help/stop myself from falling asleep. But, I don't know if I'm making dua right. I don't recite anything from the Quran because I don't remember nor have I read much.

I, a Latina (F21), and my African Muslim boyfriend (M24) have been seeing each other since October of last year.

First, I am not associated with any religion. Before hearing about Islam I did not believe my beliefs aligned with a religion. But after learning of Islam I'd say my beliefs are closer to it. I'm not a convert, revert, nor muslim. I'm just someone whose beliefs are closer to Islam.

My boyfriend and his family are Muslim. His sister and brother know of me (6-7 years older than him). While his parents do not. We plan on getting married but currently we are both students at a University. I'll be a Junior this fall, while he'll be a Senior. I want to wait until I finish school to have sex (get married).

The problem is that he is not sure if he can wait until I graduate school for us to get married. For the two of us sex is associated with marriage

He wants to wait until he and are married and his parents approve of us.

But for some reason sex/lust has been on his mind since a month or two before Ramadan. During Ramadan he would text me how he was getting better. But after Ramadan it went back to him thinking about sex and thinking lustful thoughts. He and I are physical (hugging, kissing, hickeys) but sex is a whole different thing. He told me himself he doesn't like how thinking about sex is only getting to him. He doesn't know why he's like this with me when he's never had a problem with it. And honestly it hurts me to see how upset and confused he looks over this.

He asked me if it really kept bothering him if I would have sex. And I replied back saying how if it really came down to it then yes I would. But that I would not want him to feel guilty or regret ever doing it.

I do not like him staring at me as if he's questioning whether or not we should have sex. He really tries to hold back and I can tell he's trying his best to wait for me to graduate. He's been going to the mosque more, and still praying like always, but sex/lust still will not leave his mind and he's frustrated, confused on what to do because he can't stop thinking about it.

My question is what do I do? Sex is not on my mind all that much and I'm not exactly lustful. I can wait. But would it be okay to have sex with him? Would he feel regret and guilt after? Why is sex/lust on his mind so much? Should I continue to try and tell him sex isn't the option? I have so many questions but don't know how to ask.

As a virgin I'm also really scared of having sex. I hear the first time hurts for everyone. And I'm afraid he wouldn't like our first time, or my body and just leave.

P.S. We both live with our parents. I live under my parents roof. While he lives with his parents except he helps pay rent and other things when he can like groceries, phone bills, etc. Though he is taken advantage of when someone is in need of money. And his parents bash him about everyday. So could it be stress? Not sure. The possibility of him being kicked out IF we had sex is high (if parents knew).