u/Just-Spread5371

I was with my ex from the age of 18, he was older than me by two years and he was my first ever 'serious' relationship. I was naive, I never knew what a relationship was supposed to be. As with many of the stories posted on this subreddit, he was somewhat nice and sweet to begin with, but slowly he began to change. There were signs that I would dismiss, like how he would call me stupid, or tickle fights turned into me being kicked and shoved (one time his own dog jumped between us when I was on floor and began to growl at him when he tried to get near me - another sign I should have left). I had so many bruises and I would often wake up in the middle of the night while he was asleep crying without really knowing why, which in hind sight must have been my brain trying to tell me I wasn't actually happy.

There was one time we were both out shopping together, we were having a conversation and the subject somehow happened upon how his Dad used to grab him by the scruff of his neck. I didn't know what he was talking about at the time and half laughed asking what he was talking about. He said 'You know!', and proceeded to grab me by the back of my neck hard. My eyes started to water and I was begging him to stop. I said 'Ow! Stop, that hurts!' and through laughter he said 'No, it doesn't'. I kept begging him to let go, and he still didn't and continued to laugh. I eventually clenched my hand into a fist and punched him right in the balls so he would finally lessen his grip. He got angry at me and said 'WTF! Why did you do that?'. People around me looked on in horror at what happened, I got embarrassed and he walked off in a huff because he wouldn't listen to me when I told him he was hurting me and had to literally punch him in the balls in order for him to actually listen. This is one of many physically abusive incidences he did to me to make me feel small, and I was so young and naive that I kept saying to myself over and over 'He didn't mean to'.

Many years later, when we had broken up (after he cheated on me and lied by saying I wasn't 'invested enough' in the relationship), I am now in a healthy and loving relationship, where my current partner would never lay a finger on me and I haven't had any so called 'accidents' with him that I would have to lie to myself about. However, there was only one time where he lightly squeezed the back of my neck, which meant to be affectionate gesture that I ended up shutting down completely. What was a nice day out suddenly turned dark to me. That touch on the back of my neck made me travel back to that moment, my blood ran cold, I could feel my ex's grip around my skin and I'm fighting back the tears and having that horrid sensation of wanting to scream but I'm too much in shock to do anything else. I pushed myself out of my boyfriends arms, explained what happen and from the look of his face he instantly understood that I wasn't okay. He kept his hands to himself, watched me carefully as we took our train back home and waited until I was ready for him to touch me again. We got home, I cried and I went into his arms where I could feel safe again.

I honestly hope that whoever reads this and has come up with the same excuses I did for my ex, that 'he didn't mean it', I really hope you never have to tell yourself that more than once.

Before I get into the details, I understand the majority of the time the same joke is actually true; 'How do you know an estate agent is lying? They're talking'. With that in mind, my partner and I were fairly confident that our offer would get accepted on a house that had been on the market for quite a while. Just as we booked a viewing, the house's guide price was reduced, which we thought was a great stroke of luck. We went to view it, fell in love with it, but it had so much work needed to be done to it that we thought that asking for £10,000 less was generous. Some clarity on why we offered lower, the property used to be rented, and let's say it had the 'landlord's special' all over it (odd job wooden flooring, crumbling brick fencing, faux garage door and front door peeling apart, a massive exposed circuit breaker sitting above one of the doors in the hallway, wiring all on the walls rather than been refurbished to go underneath. I could go on and on). The place was also chain free.

The EA went on about how the seller wanted to just get rid of the property as they're moving to be closer to their family on the coast and that they wanted it all done quickly for tax reasons. (Possible lie number 1?). We thought perfect, we're first time buyers, we have a one month notice for our flat, we're gold dust! (... that sounded more cocky than I wanted it sound, haha). We honestly thought we were in prime position.

We submitted our bid an hour after viewing, waited until Monday and hoped for the best. Monday arrives, as expected we get a call. They then go on to say that there had been multiple bids on the property (Possible lie number 2), and they didn't want to start a 'bidding war' (major bull), so they tell us that we would need to give them our final offer, so we offer the lower end of asking price. The EA at the time of the viewing kept saying that the seller wanted as close to the higher end of the asking price as possible, which obviously, who wouldn't? They then say the seller was now considering just keeping it as a rental property again. (Probable lie number 3 as why would you put it on the market in the first place if you were just going to rent again?). I get that they want the most money they can out of the sale because of commission, but come on? Surely selling to first time buyers would better than having to wait another got knows how long before having to reduce the price again, only for it to be sold at an even lower price than we offered??

We get the call today our offer wasn't accept, and that a higher bid had been accepted, that whoever they sold it to also had a larger deposit. (Cue sad, pathetic tears from me).

I'm holding out hope that maybe this is just another tactic, that they're trying to coax more money out of us and that they're trying to make us bid more money. The house is still for sale on the website, which I know could easily be changed within 24 hours. I just want to know if there had ever been a situation for someone else out there, that they had been told another offer had been accepted, but then they get another call back saying it fell through or something and asking if we're still interested. I understand if this could wishful thinking on my part, but I honestly do not know how far EA would go to get more money out of people or if our dream house has genuinely been bought by someone else.