Future SIL wedding conflict
My wedding was announced/booked back in August 2025 for late 2026. It’s a destination wedding in the US, so our immediate families especially have known the date for a bit.
My brother and his fiancée were both planning to come and already had flights booked. We have a really good relationship. We’re not inseparable or anything, but I genuinely adore her and definitely pictured her being there with our family. We even invited her family to the wedding.
Back in March of this year, her college best friend announced her own wedding for the exact same day as mine. Apparently my future SIL had already told her friend she had my wedding that weekend, but the friend still ended up booking that date because it was the only venue availability they could get. So now my future SIL will be going to go to her friend’s wedding instead of mine. My brother will still be coming.
I originally found out from my mom. After not hearing anything directly for a while, I texted my brother to confirm and he said it was true. He also mentioned she’s been anxious about telling me (this was a month ago).
I do understand it’s probably an awkward situation and I’m trying to be understanding about that part. I’m also not trying to act like her college best friend isn’t important. I get why she feels torn. At the same time though, I feel annoyed by the situation. Mostly because she committed to ours first, already had flights booked, and I still haven’t heard it directly from her yet.
The current plan is for her to still come to the destination for the days leading up to the wedding and then leave before the actual wedding to fly to her friend’s wedding, which honestly I don’t really see the point of.
Am I valid for feeling annoyed about this situation? And what’s the best approach here? Do I just wait for her to bring it up herself, or do I send a text and address it directly?