Less pretty friend
Hi, Idk if this is the right place to rant
I’m a SHS student
Growing up I was called and considered pretty, the type of pretty na may mga strangers who would actually stop what they are doing just to compliment, help, and smile at me. But that pretty priviledge also comes with a cons cause I was mostly surrounded with fake people who would often talk behind my back and nag karoon ng pressure saakin na I can’t just be a pretty face and kailangan magaling din ako academically, so I worked really hard para pumasok sa honors and sa top to the point na kapag hell week sa school is may time na 2-3 days akong walang tulog (1-3 hours lang tulog ganon)
since yung sectioning kasi ng school namin is by average, Grade 9 I was placed in the higher/honor section. And doon nag karoon ako ng mga classmates and friends na matalino talaga.
and that grade level i met my friend (let’s call her Lane)
So si Lane, Super ganda niya. As in siya yung type na bigla ka na lang mapapatitig sakaniya randomly mapa babae o lalaki ka man and she also knows pano dalhin sarili niya. ++ Matalino din talaga siya
Lane and I got really close, as in close talaga and naging part kami ng iisang circle so mas madalas kami nag kakasama and nag kakabonding.
I am the type na sobra talaga ko mag support sa friends ko sa lahat ng bagay, kung may gusto ka gawin I’ll cheer for you so ganon din ako kay Lane na may pag kahiyain.
Okay naman talaga kami ni Lane, pero the more na nag kakasama kami pakiramdam ko the more i grow insecure and kinda jealous of her.
As i mentioned before, I grew up received random compliments and kapag kasama ko siya siya lagi nakaka receive ng compliment. As in pakiramdam ko I was being set aside. It started with the small things.
Sa school laging mas mataas grade niya saakin, lagi niya akong natataasan.
Meron pa nung 1st quarter na sobrang favorite ko yung subject na AP so gustong gusto ko kunin yung best in AP tas nakuha niya for 1st quarter
Sa circle namin may bakla kaming kaibigan, and you know how most baklas are — straight forward.
One time, nagkaroon kami ng swimming as celebration for something. Habang nag s-swimming kami ni Lane mag kasama, bigla may sinabi si Gay Friend namin na compliment kay Lane
“Si Lane mukhang serena, si (ako) parang sira na”
That was a joke, but that really shattered me.
hanggang more things pa nangyayari,
One time nag mall kaming dalawa ni Lane and may mga nakasalubong kaming group of guys, Isa doon natypan ko. They came up to us and asked for our names and the guy na natipuhan ko kinuha niya agad yung account ni Lane — Not even looking at me.
basta ang dami pang incident.
I don’t hate Lane, as in wala akong galit sakaniya pero dahil sa mga incident na yun naturally naging distant ako kay Lane. Because of my insecurity.
Pakiramdam ko kapag kasama ko siya pumapanget ako or maybe I wasn’t as pretty as I am before.