Decided to shave and have deep regrets… TW: SA
To keep a long story short…
I started HRT almost six years ago.
I’ve always felt like my brothers and I had very similar facial features, HRT has really made us look more similar in my opinion.
But my older brother SA’d me for a large chunk of my childhood and somehow shaving made me look even more like him? And I’m having a terrible time dealing with it. I know it will grow back. I don’t think I look bad, necessarily. I just keep accidentally triggering myself and being real, this week isn’t the week since I also had to have a pap and pelvic exam and all that stuff.
The many ways it has triggered every bit of depression and anxiety and self hate has been ridiculously overwhelming for me and my partner.
I’m just having a hard time and wanted to vent about it to someone other than my partner because she honestly doesn’t quite get it and it’s making me feel kind of bitter, she just keeps saying I don’t look like him and I mean, yeah, we are no twins, we are five years apart almost, but genetics babe. I’m not blind and she is just kind of making me feel stupid about it.