Am I old fashioned for being uncomfortable with partners staying close to exes, crushes, or suitors?
I’ve been reflecting on my last two relationships and wondering whether I’m just more traditional than a lot of people today, or whether other men have experienced similar issues.
In both my last relationships, my partners wanted to stay very close with exes, former crushes, or men who were clearly interested in them. My most recent ex had several guys like that she regularly talked to, messaged, hugged at events, and kept ongoing connections with socially.
To be clear, I never tried to control who they could talk to or asked them to cut anyone off. But when I communicated that certain situations made me uncomfortable, the conversation usually became about me being “insecure” or “jealous” rather than us trying to understand each other’s boundaries and expectations.
What eventually bothered me was feeling like my feelings were dismissed anytime I brought them up, while maintaining those connections seemed non-negotiable. Over time, I started feeling like there wasn’t much room for compromise or consideration for how certain dynamics affected the relationship.
After experiencing this in two relationships, I’ve started questioning whether this is just part of modern dating culture now, especially with social media and constant access to attention and validation. Or maybe I’m simply more old fashioned when it comes to relationship boundaries.
Any advice or insight is appreciated!